Thursday, December 31, 2009
Goodbye, Double-Oh Decade
Hey everybody, I just want to drop in here and say a few words before the year is up.
First off, the vacation is going great. I was nervous about the baby but it turns out he loves America and everyone in it. Strangers and family alike delight him, he is being spoiled with toys and clothes at every turn, and he is sleeping here like he never sleeps back home. Not necessarily at night, mind you, but a happy, well-rested baby is a hell of a lot easier to manage than a cranky, crying baby.
In professional writing news, Wired Game|Life has been posting best-of lists recently, several of which I got to vote for and contribute towards. While I recommend all of their fine work, readers looking specifically for my words should direct their attention to Top 5 PlayStation 3 Games of 2009, The 10 Best Videogames of 2009 and The 15 Most Influential Games of the Decade. I'm particularly proud of that last one because I got to write about two of my favorite games of the last ten years, both of which will be appearing in my love/hate 00s countdown.
Speaking of which, the countdown is on hold but not over. I haven't had much time to write on this trip, so I'll finish my thoughts about my favorite and most disappointing things of the past decade after it is complete.
In the meantime, enjoy this final day of the 00s. For those of you in Japan, the year is nearly finished, but here in the US we've got nearly an entire day to get through. Wherever you're at, have fun and I'll see you in 2010 (digitally speaking).
つづく...(Click here to read more)
First off, the vacation is going great. I was nervous about the baby but it turns out he loves America and everyone in it. Strangers and family alike delight him, he is being spoiled with toys and clothes at every turn, and he is sleeping here like he never sleeps back home. Not necessarily at night, mind you, but a happy, well-rested baby is a hell of a lot easier to manage than a cranky, crying baby.
In professional writing news, Wired Game|Life has been posting best-of lists recently, several of which I got to vote for and contribute towards. While I recommend all of their fine work, readers looking specifically for my words should direct their attention to Top 5 PlayStation 3 Games of 2009, The 10 Best Videogames of 2009 and The 15 Most Influential Games of the Decade. I'm particularly proud of that last one because I got to write about two of my favorite games of the last ten years, both of which will be appearing in my love/hate 00s countdown.
Speaking of which, the countdown is on hold but not over. I haven't had much time to write on this trip, so I'll finish my thoughts about my favorite and most disappointing things of the past decade after it is complete.
In the meantime, enjoy this final day of the 00s. For those of you in Japan, the year is nearly finished, but here in the US we've got nearly an entire day to get through. Wherever you're at, have fun and I'll see you in 2010 (digitally speaking).
Labels: family, number one son, site news, travel, video games, Wired, writing
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Thursday, December 03, 2009
December? I Miss November.
Holy crap, it's December already. If time weren't already flying because I'm getting older AND having so much fun all the time, it's definitely quickening with every diaper I change. Seriously folks, if you want to completely warp your perception of time, have a kid.
For example, little Go is just past five months old already. He doesn't look any different, but each time we weigh/measure him the numbers don't lie: he's growing by leaps and bounds. Just take a look at the first week's worth of pictures we took and contrast them with these recent Twitpic shots (With Snoopy / With Mom and Cake / On a Scale). Now you see it, sure, but change like that is hard to spot when you see his li'l face everyday.
There's been a minor (major?) development in Go's, um, development. We've been waiting for him to start rolling over for quite some time now. According to some of the books Mako has, he should have done so by now. He certainly kicks a lot and can squirm his way around the bed when he's excited, but so far he hasn't rolled.
On Tuesday night we tried a little experiment. We rolled him onto his stomach to see if he could roll himself back into position. He did, more than once, though our attempts to record the feat have met with limited success. I've been told we should make a habit of these rolling sessions, as it apparently teaches him the coordination skills he needs to start crawling. As much as I'm looking forward to that particular stage, I'm less thrilled about all the cleaning up I'll have to do. There's a whole mess of wires and plugs in this apartment that should never be handled by a baby.
In very different developmental news, my writing was on a roll last month. Besides having four stories posted on Game|Life, my work on Bitmob got a lot of attention. The month started off great with my story about grinding in video games which got a lot of feedback and is, by far, my most popular Bitmob submission to date. More people have read that story in the last thirty days than have visited this entire website in the last three months!
Next, I was pleased to see that my suggestions of cheap/free games completely dominated their Bitmob Budget Games feature. I honestly thought they were only interested in games less than $10, otherwise I would have happily promoted the hell out of the PixelJunk series and given a shout-out to Bionic Commando: Rearmed, still my favorite game of 2008.
I was a little disappointed that no one took an interest in my thoughts on failure in cinematic games. I thought the Uncharted 2 angle would draw readers' attention but I guess all the hype surrounding that game was in October. I'm perpetually playing catch-up when it comes to video games that people are talking about because I progress through them so very slowly. It doesn't help that I have a choice of playing games or writing after Mako and Go fall asleep, and lately I've been choosing writing.
Not that I regret making that choice! I felt so jazzed after seeing Inglorious Basterds that I wrote two different posts on my blog about it as well as one item on Bitmob about how the movie made me want games that rely less on violence to provide conflict. That piece ended up on the front page earlier this week, much to my delight, and I was happy to hear that I'm not the only one out there who wants more non-violent games to play.
You can expect my thoughts on The Road very soon, both here and on Bitmob. I'm not sure what book I want to read next. Atlas Shrugged is just sitting around waiting to be picked up, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for another mega-text from Ayn Rand so soon after The Fountainhead. Frankly, all this fiction has given me a craving to return to non-fiction. I think the last one of those I read was The Chris Farley Show.
One more thing: in case you forgot, the family going to New York later this month. In fact, we're leaving in less than three weeks. Like I side, time is rocketing past my face these days. Slow down, life! I'm trying to enjoy the ride!
つづく...(Click here to read more)
For example, little Go is just past five months old already. He doesn't look any different, but each time we weigh/measure him the numbers don't lie: he's growing by leaps and bounds. Just take a look at the first week's worth of pictures we took and contrast them with these recent Twitpic shots (With Snoopy / With Mom and Cake / On a Scale). Now you see it, sure, but change like that is hard to spot when you see his li'l face everyday.
There's been a minor (major?) development in Go's, um, development. We've been waiting for him to start rolling over for quite some time now. According to some of the books Mako has, he should have done so by now. He certainly kicks a lot and can squirm his way around the bed when he's excited, but so far he hasn't rolled.
On Tuesday night we tried a little experiment. We rolled him onto his stomach to see if he could roll himself back into position. He did, more than once, though our attempts to record the feat have met with limited success. I've been told we should make a habit of these rolling sessions, as it apparently teaches him the coordination skills he needs to start crawling. As much as I'm looking forward to that particular stage, I'm less thrilled about all the cleaning up I'll have to do. There's a whole mess of wires and plugs in this apartment that should never be handled by a baby.
In very different developmental news, my writing was on a roll last month. Besides having four stories posted on Game|Life, my work on Bitmob got a lot of attention. The month started off great with my story about grinding in video games which got a lot of feedback and is, by far, my most popular Bitmob submission to date. More people have read that story in the last thirty days than have visited this entire website in the last three months!
Next, I was pleased to see that my suggestions of cheap/free games completely dominated their Bitmob Budget Games feature. I honestly thought they were only interested in games less than $10, otherwise I would have happily promoted the hell out of the PixelJunk series and given a shout-out to Bionic Commando: Rearmed, still my favorite game of 2008.
I was a little disappointed that no one took an interest in my thoughts on failure in cinematic games. I thought the Uncharted 2 angle would draw readers' attention but I guess all the hype surrounding that game was in October. I'm perpetually playing catch-up when it comes to video games that people are talking about because I progress through them so very slowly. It doesn't help that I have a choice of playing games or writing after Mako and Go fall asleep, and lately I've been choosing writing.
Not that I regret making that choice! I felt so jazzed after seeing Inglorious Basterds that I wrote two different posts on my blog about it as well as one item on Bitmob about how the movie made me want games that rely less on violence to provide conflict. That piece ended up on the front page earlier this week, much to my delight, and I was happy to hear that I'm not the only one out there who wants more non-violent games to play.
You can expect my thoughts on The Road very soon, both here and on Bitmob. I'm not sure what book I want to read next. Atlas Shrugged is just sitting around waiting to be picked up, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for another mega-text from Ayn Rand so soon after The Fountainhead. Frankly, all this fiction has given me a craving to return to non-fiction. I think the last one of those I read was The Chris Farley Show.
One more thing: in case you forgot, the family going to New York later this month. In fact, we're leaving in less than three weeks. Like I side, time is rocketing past my face these days. Slow down, life! I'm trying to enjoy the ride!
Labels: Bitmob, books, number one son, video games, writing
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Monday, November 09, 2009
For My Sister
Kind of a special day today. Twenty years ago, the Berlin Wall came down...on my sister's Nth birthday. Is it silly that both of these anniversaries are battling for my thoughts?
Yes, it is!
I mean, it goes without saying that my sister's birth was the more momentous occasion in my life. I have only vague memories of going to the hospital that day, and I doubt very much that nearly-three-year-old me had any concept of what a new baby meant. Records from that time suggest I didn't take to my new sibling very well, as I began taking out my frustrations on other children at nursery school. I actually became a bully during this time, if you can believe that.
Our relationship had real ups and downs as the years passed. There were times where we found common interests and played games together, but there were also times when I believe we seriously hated one another. It rarely manifested itself physically, but there was a lot of tension in the house by the time we were both in high school. Then again, with my parents' divorce I guess the entire family was quietly tearing itself apart so two kids arguing wasn't really a big deal.
Things improved vastly once the four of us were no longer expected to live in the same house anymore. First it was Mom and Dad that separated, then Salena started college and I moved out shortly after that. I can remember going through a lot of difficult personal issues at that time, but at least fighting with my sister was no longer one of them. It didn't take long for our relationship settle in a very cordial position and I think it's stayed there ever since.
When I look at my son and I see myself (let's face it, he looks just like me) I often wonder what would happen if we had another baby. It's obviously something Mako wants, and I think deep down I want it too. I think back to the bad times my sister and I had, of course, but as nasty as things got that can't overshadow the years of good times, particularly as adults in the last decade or so. Go and his theoretical younger sibling would clash over dumb things like the television remote and who got to sit on the pillow in the backseat of the car, but eventually the two of them would be able to go to the movies together and laugh at their parents' behavior.
Let's face it; a brother or sister is often the only person you can really talk to about your parents. If Salena hadn't been there to commiserate with, I would have needed twice as many psychologists and therapists to discuss all the stuff that went on in my head. In my mind I see myself being a loving and attentive father, but I'm going to make mistakes. When that happens, won't Go need a safety valve, a partner in crime, a comrade-in-arms?
Alright, I've turned this birthday greeting into a tortured look at my own past/horrible vision of Go's future. My point is, my sister means a lot to me despite the fact that we now only see each other once or twice a year, tops. If we never spoke again I'd owe her for the years that she was there for me. I certainly didn't offer much older brotherly advice in the ways of the world; hell, for years she was the one doing everything right and I was the one who needed guidance.
So thank you, Salena, for *cough cough* years of being there for me and nevermind the three or four when we made each other miserable. I know you're in the middle of a lot of stuff right now and I can only hope that my recent happiness has, in some small way, helped you figure out what you want to do next. If yes, I still owe you, but at least I could partially make up for the time when I wasn't much of a brother.
Happy Birthday.
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Yes, it is!
I mean, it goes without saying that my sister's birth was the more momentous occasion in my life. I have only vague memories of going to the hospital that day, and I doubt very much that nearly-three-year-old me had any concept of what a new baby meant. Records from that time suggest I didn't take to my new sibling very well, as I began taking out my frustrations on other children at nursery school. I actually became a bully during this time, if you can believe that.
Our relationship had real ups and downs as the years passed. There were times where we found common interests and played games together, but there were also times when I believe we seriously hated one another. It rarely manifested itself physically, but there was a lot of tension in the house by the time we were both in high school. Then again, with my parents' divorce I guess the entire family was quietly tearing itself apart so two kids arguing wasn't really a big deal.
Things improved vastly once the four of us were no longer expected to live in the same house anymore. First it was Mom and Dad that separated, then Salena started college and I moved out shortly after that. I can remember going through a lot of difficult personal issues at that time, but at least fighting with my sister was no longer one of them. It didn't take long for our relationship settle in a very cordial position and I think it's stayed there ever since.
When I look at my son and I see myself (let's face it, he looks just like me) I often wonder what would happen if we had another baby. It's obviously something Mako wants, and I think deep down I want it too. I think back to the bad times my sister and I had, of course, but as nasty as things got that can't overshadow the years of good times, particularly as adults in the last decade or so. Go and his theoretical younger sibling would clash over dumb things like the television remote and who got to sit on the pillow in the backseat of the car, but eventually the two of them would be able to go to the movies together and laugh at their parents' behavior.
Let's face it; a brother or sister is often the only person you can really talk to about your parents. If Salena hadn't been there to commiserate with, I would have needed twice as many psychologists and therapists to discuss all the stuff that went on in my head. In my mind I see myself being a loving and attentive father, but I'm going to make mistakes. When that happens, won't Go need a safety valve, a partner in crime, a comrade-in-arms?
Alright, I've turned this birthday greeting into a tortured look at my own past/horrible vision of Go's future. My point is, my sister means a lot to me despite the fact that we now only see each other once or twice a year, tops. If we never spoke again I'd owe her for the years that she was there for me. I certainly didn't offer much older brotherly advice in the ways of the world; hell, for years she was the one doing everything right and I was the one who needed guidance.
So thank you, Salena, for *cough cough* years of being there for me and nevermind the three or four when we made each other miserable. I know you're in the middle of a lot of stuff right now and I can only hope that my recent happiness has, in some small way, helped you figure out what you want to do next. If yes, I still owe you, but at least I could partially make up for the time when I wasn't much of a brother.
Happy Birthday.
Labels: anniversary, family, fuzzy memories, number one son, predicting the future
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Monday, October 19, 2009
Grandpa in Japan
As of this writing, my father is already on his way back to New York. He only got here last Tuesday so it was a short visit but a very important one. This was, after all, his first chance to see Go in person.
We didn't "do" much in a travel sort of way. Dad stayed in a hotel in Osaka and rode the train out to our apartment each day to see us. On most days, he simply stayed here until he got tired and then returned to the hotel. He always came up in the afternoon so my inability to get off work wasn't an issue. He offered to take us to dinner but we instead ended up eating at home.
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised but my dad really, really adored Go in a way that I never would have expected. He was delighted by Go's every move and found no frustration in Go's occasional fits of crying. He also had an incredible knack for putting a smile on Go's face and making him laugh so hard he got hiccups.
We all forget that our parents were there when we were just babies, making us smile and putting up with our tears. I had never seen my father with a baby before, so even though logic dictated that he had seen his share of tiny humans I assumed that he had forgotten what it was like as my sister and I are both full-grown adults now. Instead, he flourished and he and Go were very happy together.
Two things jump to my mind as cute moments from his visit. The first was on Friday night when we ordered pizza. My father and I both had root beer, specifically Dad's Root Beer. It's just a name, I know, but it carried an extra bit of meaning that night to be sharing such a drink with my father while we both looked at my son.
The second was our good fortune to be able to watch two Yankees games together over the weekend. He wasn't here for the start of either game (8 PM EST = 9AM JST) but he made in time for most of the late-inning drama. Having three generations of Feits sit on a couch and watch a baseball game had a magical quality to it, even though there's no way of knowing if Go will share our interest in the Yankees or the game of baseball for that matter.
We did meet up with Mako's parents over the weekend and get outside for a while. On Saturday we went to their home (a first for my dad) and went shopping at the nearby mall where we got some Cold Stone ice cream (another first for my dad). They've stepped up their game, by the way: now when the servers start singing, they flicker the lights on and off. Epileptics beware!
Sunday we took a surprisingly long drive two cities over to Mino-o (Minoh?) and spent a couple hours at Katsuoji. It's a very beautiful temple in the mountains that I'm sure will look even better in a couple weeks when the leaves change. Since my dad was leaving during the day today while I was at work, we had to have our goodbyes outside of a random train station in Minooooo which was a little awkward. At least we all know I'm coming to New York in December so it was more of a "see you later" than a "see you when I see you" goodbye.
I'll try to get some pics up for everyone to see. Until then, check out these two photos I snapped with my camera:
つづく...(Click here to read more)
We didn't "do" much in a travel sort of way. Dad stayed in a hotel in Osaka and rode the train out to our apartment each day to see us. On most days, he simply stayed here until he got tired and then returned to the hotel. He always came up in the afternoon so my inability to get off work wasn't an issue. He offered to take us to dinner but we instead ended up eating at home.
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised but my dad really, really adored Go in a way that I never would have expected. He was delighted by Go's every move and found no frustration in Go's occasional fits of crying. He also had an incredible knack for putting a smile on Go's face and making him laugh so hard he got hiccups.
We all forget that our parents were there when we were just babies, making us smile and putting up with our tears. I had never seen my father with a baby before, so even though logic dictated that he had seen his share of tiny humans I assumed that he had forgotten what it was like as my sister and I are both full-grown adults now. Instead, he flourished and he and Go were very happy together.
Two things jump to my mind as cute moments from his visit. The first was on Friday night when we ordered pizza. My father and I both had root beer, specifically Dad's Root Beer. It's just a name, I know, but it carried an extra bit of meaning that night to be sharing such a drink with my father while we both looked at my son.
The second was our good fortune to be able to watch two Yankees games together over the weekend. He wasn't here for the start of either game (8 PM EST = 9AM JST) but he made in time for most of the late-inning drama. Having three generations of Feits sit on a couch and watch a baseball game had a magical quality to it, even though there's no way of knowing if Go will share our interest in the Yankees or the game of baseball for that matter.
We did meet up with Mako's parents over the weekend and get outside for a while. On Saturday we went to their home (a first for my dad) and went shopping at the nearby mall where we got some Cold Stone ice cream (another first for my dad). They've stepped up their game, by the way: now when the servers start singing, they flicker the lights on and off. Epileptics beware!
Sunday we took a surprisingly long drive two cities over to Mino-o (Minoh?) and spent a couple hours at Katsuoji. It's a very beautiful temple in the mountains that I'm sure will look even better in a couple weeks when the leaves change. Since my dad was leaving during the day today while I was at work, we had to have our goodbyes outside of a random train station in Minooooo which was a little awkward. At least we all know I'm coming to New York in December so it was more of a "see you later" than a "see you when I see you" goodbye.
I'll try to get some pics up for everyone to see. Until then, check out these two photos I snapped with my camera:
Labels: baseball, family, Japan, number one son, temple, Yankees
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Monday, October 05, 2009
Go Stretching Time
October 5th is the fortieth anniversary of Monty Python's Flying Circus and while there's not much else I have to say about that, I'll be damned if I didn't acknowledge that right away because I love Monty Python. It's a shame that Graham Chapman died twenty years ago (almost to the day, by the way) because he seems to have taken the rest of the group with him. Oh sure, they've all kept busy with individual pursuits over the years, but the remaining five members have never found time to work together since.
And now for something completely different.
While riding the train home from Osaka yesterday afternoon I got a surprise glimpse into the Japanese psyche, or at least that of my wife. The three of us went to the city for some errands, including the purchase of a new rice cooker. Did you know some of those things run for over $1000? Not just the big ones either, these were ordinary kitchen-sized models. What on Earth can those machines do that justify that kind of a price tag?
But I digress...we were heading home with our less-than-$100 rice cooker when Go started getting fussy. We knew it was a combination of multiple needs: he hadn't been fed or changed in a couple hours and he was overdue for a nap. We took turns holding him and trying to comfort him, but he wanted what he wanted and he wasn't interested in our offerings of love and affection. We just had to get him home so he'd relax.
Mako surprised the hell out of me when she said we should get off at the next station and tend to Go. I asked if she knew of a changing table or something but that wasn't the plan. She just wanted to take him off of the train because she felt bad about inconveniencing the other passengers. While I shared her compassion for the others, I also knew that the best way to make Go happy was to get home as quickly as possible. I tried to argue that we should just stay the course (we were five stops and about fifteen minutes from home) but Mako insisted.
We got off the train and tried to calm Go down with an offering of tea and lots of bouncing/swinging/attention. It didn't work and he continued to cry on and off while we stood on the platform. When the next train arrived ten minutes later, we had no choice but to get on and he kept on crying. Mako looked at me like she was mortified but I tried to reassure her. It's not like we were dragging the baby out into the world here, we were heading home. I felt bad that he was noisy but I also knew we were doing everything we could to quiet him down. It was out of our hands - shō ga nai as the Japanese would say.
When we got to our town and prepared to change trains for the last few minutes of our trip, Mako against suggested we leave to tend to Go before riding the train home. This time I insisted that she stop bending over backwards for strangers. We were a two-minute ride from home; the other passengers could bear a crying infant for two goddamn minutes. She relented, he cried, but we made it home and took care of everything.
In the end, her embarrassed retreat from the train meant that it took an extra twenty minutes to get home and Go cried for most of that. I know it didn't do him any harm in the long run but what good did it do to anyone? One train carload of people were spared a few minutes of Go's wailing in favor of the unfortunate bunch of people on the next train. No one gained a thing by delaying the inevitable, least of all us.
The Japanese have a catch-all word to cover being a nuisance or a bother to others: meiwaku. When it comes to public transportation, there are plenty of signs and warnings to passengers to not meiwaku those around them, usually by showing restraint (enryo). I'm sure both of these words were in the forefront of Mako's mind yesterday and I sympathize with her, but there are times when meiwaku is not a sin. If my boss calls while I'm on the train, I don't enryo I just answer the phone and try to be quick about it.
The same rules apply to a cranky Go: he is most definitely meiwaku but I would never choose to enryo at the expense of my baby. Indeed, that's a time for everyone to simply persevere (gaman) and endure a little noise.
I certainly hope it doesn't cause a problem for Mako when Go starts crying on the plane in December. He is guaranteed to meiwaku during that long flight and there certainly won't be anyplace to get out and wait for him to stop. Then again, airplanes have changing tables and the means to feed him at any time. I hope that's enough.
つづく...(Click here to read more)
And now for something completely different.
While riding the train home from Osaka yesterday afternoon I got a surprise glimpse into the Japanese psyche, or at least that of my wife. The three of us went to the city for some errands, including the purchase of a new rice cooker. Did you know some of those things run for over $1000? Not just the big ones either, these were ordinary kitchen-sized models. What on Earth can those machines do that justify that kind of a price tag?
But I digress...we were heading home with our less-than-$100 rice cooker when Go started getting fussy. We knew it was a combination of multiple needs: he hadn't been fed or changed in a couple hours and he was overdue for a nap. We took turns holding him and trying to comfort him, but he wanted what he wanted and he wasn't interested in our offerings of love and affection. We just had to get him home so he'd relax.
Mako surprised the hell out of me when she said we should get off at the next station and tend to Go. I asked if she knew of a changing table or something but that wasn't the plan. She just wanted to take him off of the train because she felt bad about inconveniencing the other passengers. While I shared her compassion for the others, I also knew that the best way to make Go happy was to get home as quickly as possible. I tried to argue that we should just stay the course (we were five stops and about fifteen minutes from home) but Mako insisted.
We got off the train and tried to calm Go down with an offering of tea and lots of bouncing/swinging/attention. It didn't work and he continued to cry on and off while we stood on the platform. When the next train arrived ten minutes later, we had no choice but to get on and he kept on crying. Mako looked at me like she was mortified but I tried to reassure her. It's not like we were dragging the baby out into the world here, we were heading home. I felt bad that he was noisy but I also knew we were doing everything we could to quiet him down. It was out of our hands - shō ga nai as the Japanese would say.
When we got to our town and prepared to change trains for the last few minutes of our trip, Mako against suggested we leave to tend to Go before riding the train home. This time I insisted that she stop bending over backwards for strangers. We were a two-minute ride from home; the other passengers could bear a crying infant for two goddamn minutes. She relented, he cried, but we made it home and took care of everything.
In the end, her embarrassed retreat from the train meant that it took an extra twenty minutes to get home and Go cried for most of that. I know it didn't do him any harm in the long run but what good did it do to anyone? One train carload of people were spared a few minutes of Go's wailing in favor of the unfortunate bunch of people on the next train. No one gained a thing by delaying the inevitable, least of all us.
The Japanese have a catch-all word to cover being a nuisance or a bother to others: meiwaku. When it comes to public transportation, there are plenty of signs and warnings to passengers to not meiwaku those around them, usually by showing restraint (enryo). I'm sure both of these words were in the forefront of Mako's mind yesterday and I sympathize with her, but there are times when meiwaku is not a sin. If my boss calls while I'm on the train, I don't enryo I just answer the phone and try to be quick about it.
The same rules apply to a cranky Go: he is most definitely meiwaku but I would never choose to enryo at the expense of my baby. Indeed, that's a time for everyone to simply persevere (gaman) and endure a little noise.
I certainly hope it doesn't cause a problem for Mako when Go starts crying on the plane in December. He is guaranteed to meiwaku during that long flight and there certainly won't be anyplace to get out and wait for him to stop. Then again, airplanes have changing tables and the means to feed him at any time. I hope that's enough.
Labels: family, Japan, Monty Python, number one son
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Saturday, October 03, 2009
And The Kids Just Keep On Comin'
So many babies, so little time...
Oh, wait, you didn't think...Mako's not pregnant again, don't be silly! It's way too soon for us to start thinking about another child, certainly not while our first is completely dependent on us.
No, the latest baby is our second nephew and the fourth grandchild for Mako's parents. Her brother and his wife just had their first child a few hours ago. They live in the Tokyo area so we don't see them very often. I met them for the first time at our wedding two years ago and I've seen him only one time since then.
The new baby actually tipped the scales at 3.5kg, a bit bigger than Go, but I'm pretty sure he was late so it doesn't count. There's no word on a name yet, but the big news is the baby's last name. Mako and her sister both have children, but those kids have shiny new last names. Mako's brother still has the family name so this boy is the first grandchild to continue the line. I'm no sociologist but I'm guessing this will be a big deal to Mako's parents.
I don't see an opportunity to meet the new baby anytime soon as neither we nor they are ready to travel from Kansai to Tokyo or vice versa. Maybe in 2010 we can organize a family gathering and get all these rascals into one room somewhere.
In the meantime, the three of us are just here, doing what we always do. Tokyo stories should be ready next week, as my TGS reporting for Wired is almost finished. I'll leave you with this picture we took yesterday. It has been cropped to spare you the fullness of my bare chest. You're welcome.
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Oh, wait, you didn't think...Mako's not pregnant again, don't be silly! It's way too soon for us to start thinking about another child, certainly not while our first is completely dependent on us.
No, the latest baby is our second nephew and the fourth grandchild for Mako's parents. Her brother and his wife just had their first child a few hours ago. They live in the Tokyo area so we don't see them very often. I met them for the first time at our wedding two years ago and I've seen him only one time since then.
The new baby actually tipped the scales at 3.5kg, a bit bigger than Go, but I'm pretty sure he was late so it doesn't count. There's no word on a name yet, but the big news is the baby's last name. Mako and her sister both have children, but those kids have shiny new last names. Mako's brother still has the family name so this boy is the first grandchild to continue the line. I'm no sociologist but I'm guessing this will be a big deal to Mako's parents.
I don't see an opportunity to meet the new baby anytime soon as neither we nor they are ready to travel from Kansai to Tokyo or vice versa. Maybe in 2010 we can organize a family gathering and get all these rascals into one room somewhere.
In the meantime, the three of us are just here, doing what we always do. Tokyo stories should be ready next week, as my TGS reporting for Wired is almost finished. I'll leave you with this picture we took yesterday. It has been cropped to spare you the fullness of my bare chest. You're welcome.
Labels: family, number one son
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Mid-September Settlement
It's been a busy couple of days, but it hasn't been a sweaty couple of days which makes me very happy. Summer seems to have let up early this year as it's only mid-September but we've already stopped using the air conditioner. I'm still wearing short sleeves everyday but the sweet spot of autumn should be here soon.
A quick thank you to everyone who expressed concern/encouragement after I made a somber tweet last week. There wasn't anything major going on at the time, I just felt run down and I didn't know why. I wasn't expecting all the responses I got, but I appreciate them. The glum feelings didn't last but the knowledge that so many people are out there listening endures.
I spent Saturday outdoors with a few JETs exploring Uji in southern Kyoto. I had been there in 2006 with Mako on a date so I knew what to expect, and the experience was pretty much as I hoped, save for the rain and the underwhelming turnout. There were only six of us and they were all people I had met before. This is not a bad thing, of course, but I enjoy meeting new people at these "JET-togethers" since I don't spend much time away from my family otherwise. I can't go to next week's pub quiz either, as I'll be in Tokyo.
Oh yeah, Tokyo...I promise I'll write about the big news tomorrow. I had initially said it was three weeks away on Sept. 3rd, but my plans have changed. I'm leaving on Tuesday and I'll be there through the weekend. I know I would be excited in any case as this is my first "vacation" of 2009 but with the things I have in store for me, I can hardly believe it's less than a week away.
Until then, I'm still expected to show up for work this week (I know, the nerve!) and it's been tiring but things are settling down. Monday was my first visit this semester to the tiny mountain school (entire student body pictured above) which is exhausting in a special kind of way. The classes are so small I have to come up with extra stuff to do to fill the entire class period. Also, without any public transportation in the area, I have to sit around and wait for someone to leave in order to get a ride home. This being Japan, I didn't get home until 6:30.
The more interesting developments have taken place at my largest school (entire student body pictured above playing tug-of-war). Rather than follow the lesson plans of the proactive, forward-thinking school that usually coordinates all the English language classes in Hana Town, they have been developing their own lessons this year. The thinking behind this was that if homeroom teachers are actually creating the lesson plans themselves, then they won't sit back and watch me do their job for them.
So far, the results have been mixed. A few teachers have embraced the changes and really stepped up. This means less shouting and less stress on my part. It also means less English, as the homeroom teacher has no choice but to conduct class in Japanese, but better them than me.
Other teachers, sadly, have not shown any signs of changing their ways. Some of them still retreat to the back of the room while others sit down with the kids like they're just another student in the class. That might sound like a clever idea to keep them quiet, but in reality it downgrades the teacher's presence from "authority figure" to "observer."
Meanwhile I'm the only adult standing in front of thirty or so children and I'm trying to convince them that the funny words I'm using are, in fact, a language and not just gibberish. Sometimes I am successful, but other times they simply dismiss me by babbling and giggling as I speak. I try to stay positive about it, reminding myself that not everybody is being disrespectful and some of them are actually paying attention. There's also the cynical way of looking at it, since I get paid whether the kids learn anything or not, but that's not very constructive.
Other than that, life at home hasn't changed much. Mako is feeling fine and Go continues to sleep, cry, eat, and grow. At last check he was nearly thirteen pounds. His most distinguishing feature is still his ruthless ability to look cute. I'll leave you with another taste, reminding you that he'll be appearing later this year in New York City should you want the full experience.
つづく...(Click here to read more)
A quick thank you to everyone who expressed concern/encouragement after I made a somber tweet last week. There wasn't anything major going on at the time, I just felt run down and I didn't know why. I wasn't expecting all the responses I got, but I appreciate them. The glum feelings didn't last but the knowledge that so many people are out there listening endures.
I spent Saturday outdoors with a few JETs exploring Uji in southern Kyoto. I had been there in 2006 with Mako on a date so I knew what to expect, and the experience was pretty much as I hoped, save for the rain and the underwhelming turnout. There were only six of us and they were all people I had met before. This is not a bad thing, of course, but I enjoy meeting new people at these "JET-togethers" since I don't spend much time away from my family otherwise. I can't go to next week's pub quiz either, as I'll be in Tokyo.
Oh yeah, Tokyo...I promise I'll write about the big news tomorrow. I had initially said it was three weeks away on Sept. 3rd, but my plans have changed. I'm leaving on Tuesday and I'll be there through the weekend. I know I would be excited in any case as this is my first "vacation" of 2009 but with the things I have in store for me, I can hardly believe it's less than a week away.
Until then, I'm still expected to show up for work this week (I know, the nerve!) and it's been tiring but things are settling down. Monday was my first visit this semester to the tiny mountain school (entire student body pictured above) which is exhausting in a special kind of way. The classes are so small I have to come up with extra stuff to do to fill the entire class period. Also, without any public transportation in the area, I have to sit around and wait for someone to leave in order to get a ride home. This being Japan, I didn't get home until 6:30.
The more interesting developments have taken place at my largest school (entire student body pictured above playing tug-of-war). Rather than follow the lesson plans of the proactive, forward-thinking school that usually coordinates all the English language classes in Hana Town, they have been developing their own lessons this year. The thinking behind this was that if homeroom teachers are actually creating the lesson plans themselves, then they won't sit back and watch me do their job for them.
So far, the results have been mixed. A few teachers have embraced the changes and really stepped up. This means less shouting and less stress on my part. It also means less English, as the homeroom teacher has no choice but to conduct class in Japanese, but better them than me.
Other teachers, sadly, have not shown any signs of changing their ways. Some of them still retreat to the back of the room while others sit down with the kids like they're just another student in the class. That might sound like a clever idea to keep them quiet, but in reality it downgrades the teacher's presence from "authority figure" to "observer."
Meanwhile I'm the only adult standing in front of thirty or so children and I'm trying to convince them that the funny words I'm using are, in fact, a language and not just gibberish. Sometimes I am successful, but other times they simply dismiss me by babbling and giggling as I speak. I try to stay positive about it, reminding myself that not everybody is being disrespectful and some of them are actually paying attention. There's also the cynical way of looking at it, since I get paid whether the kids learn anything or not, but that's not very constructive.
Other than that, life at home hasn't changed much. Mako is feeling fine and Go continues to sleep, cry, eat, and grow. At last check he was nearly thirteen pounds. His most distinguishing feature is still his ruthless ability to look cute. I'll leave you with another taste, reminding you that he'll be appearing later this year in New York City should you want the full experience.
Labels: Japan, JET, Kyoto, mystery, number one son, teaching
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Jet Baby
It is hot. Damn hot. Thick-of-August hot, despite it being September. How hot is it? I actually took a second shower today to rinse off the sweat after we went shopping. I didn't have to do that all summer long...until today.
I shouted this on my Twitter feed, but in case you missed it, big travel plans are afoot. We're coming back to New York in December and we're bringing Go with us. It's high time everyone else gets a chance to meet him.
Am I nervous about taking a six-month old on an international plane flight? Of course. For my whole life, I was one of those people who glowered at crying babies and their surely-negligent parents whenever I was trapped with them on a bus, plane or wherever. Now I have to be the parent whose kid may start screaming for no reason.
On the plus side, because we're flying a Japanese airline, I know we can count on superb service while we're on the plane. They've certainly starting things off right by assigning us much better seats after we phoned them and told them about the baby. Not only do we get a bassinet, but when we look at our seat selection screen, my little icon is holding an infant icon in its lap. That's just too cute.
We're still debating about whether or not to travel further inside the US while we have the chance. Mako isn't big on cold weather, so visiting my mother in Florida is a very real possibility. It would certainly save us the cost of staying in a New York hotel for a few nights, and given the time of year, that's a whole lot of money.
However it turns out, we'll definitely be in New York in a mere three months. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone but I'm also excited that I get to skip over the somberness of Japanese New Year's. It's going to be 2010, dammit, there should be a party. This trip ensures I'll be attending that party in my favorite place on Earth, hopefully alongside some of my favorite people.
つづく...(Click here to read more)
I shouted this on my Twitter feed, but in case you missed it, big travel plans are afoot. We're coming back to New York in December and we're bringing Go with us. It's high time everyone else gets a chance to meet him.
Am I nervous about taking a six-month old on an international plane flight? Of course. For my whole life, I was one of those people who glowered at crying babies and their surely-negligent parents whenever I was trapped with them on a bus, plane or wherever. Now I have to be the parent whose kid may start screaming for no reason.
On the plus side, because we're flying a Japanese airline, I know we can count on superb service while we're on the plane. They've certainly starting things off right by assigning us much better seats after we phoned them and told them about the baby. Not only do we get a bassinet, but when we look at our seat selection screen, my little icon is holding an infant icon in its lap. That's just too cute.
We're still debating about whether or not to travel further inside the US while we have the chance. Mako isn't big on cold weather, so visiting my mother in Florida is a very real possibility. It would certainly save us the cost of staying in a New York hotel for a few nights, and given the time of year, that's a whole lot of money.
However it turns out, we'll definitely be in New York in a mere three months. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone but I'm also excited that I get to skip over the somberness of Japanese New Year's. It's going to be 2010, dammit, there should be a party. This trip ensures I'll be attending that party in my favorite place on Earth, hopefully alongside some of my favorite people.
Labels: family, number one son
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Monday, August 31, 2009
Bye Bye August
I am so glad this month is over. I don't normally point fingers at or curse arbitrary time designations but this August was a particularly nasty one. I won't be sorry to see it end.
I say this because the arrival of my mystery illness coincided almost perfectly with the start of this month and now that it's over, I am feeling much better. This should have been a light month for me, a period where I could write or play games or do whatever I wanted because I wasn't needed much at work. Instead, I spent a lot of my time feeling like crap, wrote very little and didn't do much of anything.
I certainly didn't have the energy to properly welcome my visiting family or escort the new JET in my area around. Everyone says they don't blame me, but I blame me because my absence no doubt put more pressure on everyone around me who doesn't speak Japanese. So let me say it one more time for all to hear: I'm sorry I wasn't stronger.
But let's move on, shall we? The weather and my condition have improved dramatically over this final week of August. I have to assume those facts are related, because nothing I received from any of the doctors I visited could have "cured" me. Perhaps it was psychosomatic, perhaps it was a passing bug or virus, or perhaps it was just something I ate. It's over now and I'm glad to be rid of it.
Classes have resumed at school and I'm picking up where I left off as best I can. Some students listen, some students don't. The same goes for the teachers I have to work with: some listen, some don't. Most of the schools have done a pretty good job of being prepared to discuss and start classes on the very first day I am available to teach (with this morning being a notable but ultimately predictable exception).
The best news out of all of this is that Go remained happy and healthy throughout the month, so whatever the hell happened to me it didn't have any visible effect on him. I leave you with this photo of him as evidence that my son is, objectively speaking, the most adorable baby of all time.
つづく...(Click here to read more)
I say this because the arrival of my mystery illness coincided almost perfectly with the start of this month and now that it's over, I am feeling much better. This should have been a light month for me, a period where I could write or play games or do whatever I wanted because I wasn't needed much at work. Instead, I spent a lot of my time feeling like crap, wrote very little and didn't do much of anything.
I certainly didn't have the energy to properly welcome my visiting family or escort the new JET in my area around. Everyone says they don't blame me, but I blame me because my absence no doubt put more pressure on everyone around me who doesn't speak Japanese. So let me say it one more time for all to hear: I'm sorry I wasn't stronger.
But let's move on, shall we? The weather and my condition have improved dramatically over this final week of August. I have to assume those facts are related, because nothing I received from any of the doctors I visited could have "cured" me. Perhaps it was psychosomatic, perhaps it was a passing bug or virus, or perhaps it was just something I ate. It's over now and I'm glad to be rid of it.
Classes have resumed at school and I'm picking up where I left off as best I can. Some students listen, some students don't. The same goes for the teachers I have to work with: some listen, some don't. Most of the schools have done a pretty good job of being prepared to discuss and start classes on the very first day I am available to teach (with this morning being a notable but ultimately predictable exception).
The best news out of all of this is that Go remained happy and healthy throughout the month, so whatever the hell happened to me it didn't have any visible effect on him. I leave you with this photo of him as evidence that my son is, objectively speaking, the most adorable baby of all time.
Labels: family, frustration, Japan, JET, number one son, poor health, teaching
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Friday, August 21, 2009
An Unpleasant August
If there's one thing I've learned from five years of blogging, it's that a tiny post is better than no post and trying to save yourself for a mega-post is a really stupid idea.
I'm still on vacation and I'm still "sick," although I put that word in quotes because my symptoms of late have been limited to nuisance-levels. No fevers for the past week, no uncontrollable bathroom urges, and hardly any discomfort save for the general sense of anxiety I have over my lingering illness.
I did see a doctor this week (a specialist in fact) in the hopes of getting something other than the usual symptom-focused medication my local clinic was dispensing. However, he seemed far more concerned with my propensity for drinking cold liquids than my recent fevers. This idea that drinks can make your stomach "cold" is apparently a big thing in Japan, even though I've never heard of it. I'm no doctor of course, but it seems pretty fishy to me to blame my love of ice-cold water for my recent intestinal distress. I pour a lot of chilled liquids down my throat every year, and suddenly in the past month it's a problem? I don't buy that.
My family has come and gone. They had a great time, or so they claimed, and they certainly got to meet Go so they seemed pretty happy about the whole trip. I would have liked to have spent more time with them (considering I was on vacation and all) but a flare up of symptoms late last week kept me out of action for a day or two. They still came to see me and the baby but I missed a chance to go sightseeing with them, which is unfortunate. Here's hoping I get to see them and everyone else back in New York before the year is out.
Speaking of international flights, we took Go in to the consulate this morning to file the necessary papers to get him "on the grid," so to speak. In a few weeks he'll have his own Social Security number and passport! It remains to be seen whether he'll be ready to fly this year or not, but from a paperwork standpoint he should be all set by October.
That's all the news I've got for you right now. The better I feel, the more time I should have to write, although I feel like a tool because summer is almost over and I barely got anything new on the blog this month. In a way my hands were tied but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it.
つづく...(Click here to read more)
I'm still on vacation and I'm still "sick," although I put that word in quotes because my symptoms of late have been limited to nuisance-levels. No fevers for the past week, no uncontrollable bathroom urges, and hardly any discomfort save for the general sense of anxiety I have over my lingering illness.
I did see a doctor this week (a specialist in fact) in the hopes of getting something other than the usual symptom-focused medication my local clinic was dispensing. However, he seemed far more concerned with my propensity for drinking cold liquids than my recent fevers. This idea that drinks can make your stomach "cold" is apparently a big thing in Japan, even though I've never heard of it. I'm no doctor of course, but it seems pretty fishy to me to blame my love of ice-cold water for my recent intestinal distress. I pour a lot of chilled liquids down my throat every year, and suddenly in the past month it's a problem? I don't buy that.
My family has come and gone. They had a great time, or so they claimed, and they certainly got to meet Go so they seemed pretty happy about the whole trip. I would have liked to have spent more time with them (considering I was on vacation and all) but a flare up of symptoms late last week kept me out of action for a day or two. They still came to see me and the baby but I missed a chance to go sightseeing with them, which is unfortunate. Here's hoping I get to see them and everyone else back in New York before the year is out.
Speaking of international flights, we took Go in to the consulate this morning to file the necessary papers to get him "on the grid," so to speak. In a few weeks he'll have his own Social Security number and passport! It remains to be seen whether he'll be ready to fly this year or not, but from a paperwork standpoint he should be all set by October.
That's all the news I've got for you right now. The better I feel, the more time I should have to write, although I feel like a tool because summer is almost over and I barely got anything new on the blog this month. In a way my hands were tied but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it.
Labels: family, Japan, number one son, poor health, writing
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Monday, August 10, 2009
The Era of Bad Feelings
Once again, I find myself using my abundance of time spent at home as an excuse for not getting any writing done. I suppose the reason I'm stuck at home is a factor at well.
In case you haven't heard, I'm still sick. I've never been great at dragging diagnoses out of doctors in English, so doing it in Japanese is next to impossible, but so far as I can tell I've got some kind of virus. My overall condition has ranged from "ok" to "unpleasant" over the past two weeks, with the lowest points being Monday, July 27 and last Thursday when I was feverish. That second fever sent me back to the doctor for a blood test. He insisted that I get some rest and that this virus should soon pass, but as I begin my third week of not feeling well I'm a little bit suspicious.
The good news is that neither Go nor Mako are showing any signs of catching whatever I've got, so it seems I am not contagious. During both of my fevers they escaped to her parents' house to avoid possible contamination and let me rest, but I must assume that they would have gotten sick by now if that was possible. Still, it is extremely uncomfortable to hold Go in my arms and try to sooth him to sleep when all I want to do is go to the bathroom or lay down.
Lest you think I've been writhing in agony for the past two weeks, I have managed to entertain myself with video games. I actually finished BioShock which was tremendously satisfying. Why I put that game off for so long, I'll never understand. It actually wasn't that long of a game to complete; it just took me two months because I insisted on exploring every corner of the city. Part of me is strongly tempted to start a new game on a higher difficulty setting so I can see what's different (and get more trophies) but realistically, I have so little time to play games I'm better off moving on to something else.
That "something else" could be the upcoming Batman: Arkham Asylum, because I felt the demo was really quite good. Sneaking up behind thugs and silently taking them down was exciting, as was the hand-to-hand parts where I just beat the snot out of three guys at the same time. My biggest concern is that the game will get repetitive since Batman can't acquire new "powers" (he doesn't really have any to being with) but the myriad of options I've had in just the demo is extremely encouraging. It turns out there are an awful lot of ways to sneak up on someone in this game, which means that there isn't just one solution to each dangerous situation. I'm just going to wait and see what people say about it before I consider buying it.
In the meantime, there will be no time for games (or writing) as my mother and sister will be arriving in Japan on Wednesday for their first meeting with Go. It will be wonderful to see them again and let them watch the baby while Mako and I relax for once. Their vacation is our vacation! I'm kidding, of course, but not about being happy to have visitors. But this is one more reason I'm not going to have much time to write, so August is looking like a pretty sparse month on the blogging front. Then again, my sister makes up 20-50% of my readership which means my posts won't be missed much.
See you soon, Salena!
つづく...(Click here to read more)
In case you haven't heard, I'm still sick. I've never been great at dragging diagnoses out of doctors in English, so doing it in Japanese is next to impossible, but so far as I can tell I've got some kind of virus. My overall condition has ranged from "ok" to "unpleasant" over the past two weeks, with the lowest points being Monday, July 27 and last Thursday when I was feverish. That second fever sent me back to the doctor for a blood test. He insisted that I get some rest and that this virus should soon pass, but as I begin my third week of not feeling well I'm a little bit suspicious.
The good news is that neither Go nor Mako are showing any signs of catching whatever I've got, so it seems I am not contagious. During both of my fevers they escaped to her parents' house to avoid possible contamination and let me rest, but I must assume that they would have gotten sick by now if that was possible. Still, it is extremely uncomfortable to hold Go in my arms and try to sooth him to sleep when all I want to do is go to the bathroom or lay down.
Lest you think I've been writhing in agony for the past two weeks, I have managed to entertain myself with video games. I actually finished BioShock which was tremendously satisfying. Why I put that game off for so long, I'll never understand. It actually wasn't that long of a game to complete; it just took me two months because I insisted on exploring every corner of the city. Part of me is strongly tempted to start a new game on a higher difficulty setting so I can see what's different (and get more trophies) but realistically, I have so little time to play games I'm better off moving on to something else.
That "something else" could be the upcoming Batman: Arkham Asylum, because I felt the demo was really quite good. Sneaking up behind thugs and silently taking them down was exciting, as was the hand-to-hand parts where I just beat the snot out of three guys at the same time. My biggest concern is that the game will get repetitive since Batman can't acquire new "powers" (he doesn't really have any to being with) but the myriad of options I've had in just the demo is extremely encouraging. It turns out there are an awful lot of ways to sneak up on someone in this game, which means that there isn't just one solution to each dangerous situation. I'm just going to wait and see what people say about it before I consider buying it.
In the meantime, there will be no time for games (or writing) as my mother and sister will be arriving in Japan on Wednesday for their first meeting with Go. It will be wonderful to see them again and let them watch the baby while Mako and I relax for once. Their vacation is our vacation! I'm kidding, of course, but not about being happy to have visitors. But this is one more reason I'm not going to have much time to write, so August is looking like a pretty sparse month on the blogging front. Then again, my sister makes up 20-50% of my readership which means my posts won't be missed much.
See you soon, Salena!
Labels: Batman, BioShock, family, number one son, poor health, video games
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Monday, August 03, 2009
New Month, New Face (Same Old Shituation)
Oh hey, it's August! How are you doing? I didn't see you come in. Perhaps because I spent so much time in the bathroom during the last week of July?
Yeah, without getting into any detail at all, I just have to go on record as saying this past week has been craptacularly uncomfortable for me. While I'm lucky that this didn't all go down during the school year, because I was in no condition to teach classes, this was a relatively busy week as far as summer vacation goes and it wasn't easy to handle.
The fever which had me out on the couch for two days (and sent Mako and Go hiding at her parents' house for three) left without much trouble, but certain lingering symptoms continue to vex me. The medication I received on Friday had some effect but my condition has not changed, so I may need to revisit the doctor this evening to see where we go from here. I don't think there's anything serious to worry about (yet) but a week of this is about five days too long in my opinion, so I'm not going to just sit it out anymore. I must insist on active medical remedies at this point.
Why was I busy when classes and students are nowhere to be seen? Well there's a new JET coming to Hana Town and she arrived on Wednesday of this week. As both the RA for our area and (more importantly) the only other JET in Hana Town, I made it a point to be there to greet her at Shin Osaka station alongside our supervisor from the Board of Education.
The good news is she's very friendly and I'm sure that she'll do a terrific job working with the middle school students. Her California accent isn't too strong so her pronunciation is good, which is key in this job, she has experience teaching and working with children, and she seems to be so positive about everything that I bet the kids will really like her.
The bad news is that she doesn't speak Japanese, so I spent a good chunk of Wednesday, Thursday and Friday trying to translate the world around her in addition to answering her many questions about her job, this area, and Japan in general. I hope that when Japan gets weird on her (and it will, eventually) she can handle it even if I'm not there to explain what's happening. Otherwise she'll leave and we'll have to do this all over again next summer.
We haven't really talked about Internet issues or my blogging, so I'll refrain from getting into any of her details, such as her name. At this point it's unclear whether or not we may work together at all or if she'll take over the tiny mountain school as her predecessor did for me last year.
Speaking of which, that's where I am right now (or rather, when I typed this) and that's unusual because I don't normally come here during the summer. Without any public transportation to connect this school to the rest of the world, in summers past I would simply spend my time elsewhere, but for some reason they actively wanted me to show up here today. I stress "for some reason" because I've been here for two hours and no one has yet to talk any kind of school business with me at all.
In completely unrelated news, Go turns six weeks old tomorrow. I've read this is a major step in his development, so we'll see how that goes. Supposedly he'll start sleeping more, but I suspect that will take a little more effort on our parts to not respond to his every tear. He cries a lot, even when full, and rarely is he able to sleep on his own. For his sake and for ours, this needs to change.
Of course, all that can wait until after my mother and sister come through here next week. Despite my warnings that summer in Japan is nothing short of hellish, the urge to see Go has overtaken the two of them and they cannot wait to hold him in their arms. Will that urge also drive them to change his diaper and give him his bottle? Because we will happily hand over all relevant materials and sit that week out if needed. We're flexible like that.
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Yeah, without getting into any detail at all, I just have to go on record as saying this past week has been craptacularly uncomfortable for me. While I'm lucky that this didn't all go down during the school year, because I was in no condition to teach classes, this was a relatively busy week as far as summer vacation goes and it wasn't easy to handle.
The fever which had me out on the couch for two days (and sent Mako and Go hiding at her parents' house for three) left without much trouble, but certain lingering symptoms continue to vex me. The medication I received on Friday had some effect but my condition has not changed, so I may need to revisit the doctor this evening to see where we go from here. I don't think there's anything serious to worry about (yet) but a week of this is about five days too long in my opinion, so I'm not going to just sit it out anymore. I must insist on active medical remedies at this point.
Why was I busy when classes and students are nowhere to be seen? Well there's a new JET coming to Hana Town and she arrived on Wednesday of this week. As both the RA for our area and (more importantly) the only other JET in Hana Town, I made it a point to be there to greet her at Shin Osaka station alongside our supervisor from the Board of Education.
The good news is she's very friendly and I'm sure that she'll do a terrific job working with the middle school students. Her California accent isn't too strong so her pronunciation is good, which is key in this job, she has experience teaching and working with children, and she seems to be so positive about everything that I bet the kids will really like her.
The bad news is that she doesn't speak Japanese, so I spent a good chunk of Wednesday, Thursday and Friday trying to translate the world around her in addition to answering her many questions about her job, this area, and Japan in general. I hope that when Japan gets weird on her (and it will, eventually) she can handle it even if I'm not there to explain what's happening. Otherwise she'll leave and we'll have to do this all over again next summer.
We haven't really talked about Internet issues or my blogging, so I'll refrain from getting into any of her details, such as her name. At this point it's unclear whether or not we may work together at all or if she'll take over the tiny mountain school as her predecessor did for me last year.
Speaking of which, that's where I am right now (or rather, when I typed this) and that's unusual because I don't normally come here during the summer. Without any public transportation to connect this school to the rest of the world, in summers past I would simply spend my time elsewhere, but for some reason they actively wanted me to show up here today. I stress "for some reason" because I've been here for two hours and no one has yet to talk any kind of school business with me at all.
In completely unrelated news, Go turns six weeks old tomorrow. I've read this is a major step in his development, so we'll see how that goes. Supposedly he'll start sleeping more, but I suspect that will take a little more effort on our parts to not respond to his every tear. He cries a lot, even when full, and rarely is he able to sleep on his own. For his sake and for ours, this needs to change.
Of course, all that can wait until after my mother and sister come through here next week. Despite my warnings that summer in Japan is nothing short of hellish, the urge to see Go has overtaken the two of them and they cannot wait to hold him in their arms. Will that urge also drive them to change his diaper and give him his bottle? Because we will happily hand over all relevant materials and sit that week out if needed. We're flexible like that.
Labels: family, JET, number one son, poor health
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Begin at the Beginning?
Babies are like little paradoxes. On the one hand, babies are all about now. They have no patience or restraint. If Go is hungry, he cries until he is fed. If Go has to pee, he pees. Doesn't matter if he's got his diaper on or not, he just lets it flow. He has no idea how to "wait" so my wife and I must be very attentive and aware that his needs are immediate. There's very little in the way of preparation or planning, it's all about response time.
On the other hand, the birth of my son has sent my mind leaping into the future and wondering about the decisions I will have to make that will shape his outlook of the world. How will I explain religion to him? Will he accept my general abstaining from spirituality or will he start preaching to me? What kinds of questions will he ask me about sex, death, morality, and politics? Will either one of us be satisfied with my answers?
Then there are matters of pop culture: which Star Wars trilogy should he watch first? Who should be his first captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise? And whatever shall I do about video games?
It sounds silly to put pastimes on par with philosophical issues, but the reality is that all of this stuff is going to come up. Parents don't get to choose what their kids will be into but they certainly get a vote. I was raised in a Jewish household so Christmas has always felt foreign to me. My parents loved The Beatles so I've always been more interested in their music (and their peers) rather than Elvis. Can I really say that one of these culture-defining choices had more of an impact on me than the other?
Of course, there is no direct relationship between what my parents supported and what I adopted. They both strongly encouraged me to read more books, so much so that I eventually rebelled out of spite. They were fairly ambivalent concerning video games (never outright condemning them but not accepting them either) but I embraced them and continue to hold them in high regard.
So where does that leave me and Go? I haven't started playing music for him yet but I've been considering building him a playlist. Books are going to be important for his bilingual education; I wish there was a local library with any significant English collection but I don't believe there is. Movies will come later, I suppose, and we'll just have to see what's appropriate at that time. I can't wait to take him to a movie theater for the first time. It's just too bad there aren't any cinemas in Japan with gilded lobbies or curtains.
Video games are another story, for where do we begin? In my case, the seed was planted with the Atari and cultivated with the rise of arcades. Over the years, I played everything I could get my hands on and watched the medium evolve from abstract blocks and beeps to hand-drawn sprites to the advanced 3D models used today. Should I try to simulate that experience for Go with a (condensed) journey through gaming history? Or should he jump in at the present level and start his journey with Pokemon or whatever the kids are into nowadays?
The catch here is that the road of video games is largely a one-way street while other media is more timeless. I can read a fifty or even a hundred-year old book and I should be able to comprehend it and potentially enjoy it at face value. Likewise, when the time comes Go should have little trouble understanding Star Wars or Raiders of the Lost Ark even though they were made thirty years before he was born. But if Go even looks at a modern video game, how can he then pick up Super Mario Brothers?
The good news is that Japan offers me a lot of options in this matter. Arcades still exist in great quantities and a number of them carry older games to appeal to older gamers. There's also a roaring retro-game market in this country (which I wrote about earlier this week) so I could pick up an actual Famicom and a few of the classics to give Go his first taste in style. Of course, all three consoles have their share of downloadable versions of old games, to say nothing of emulators on the PC.
So what do you think? Should Go get the history lesson approach to gaming or just ride the wave of high resolution 21st century awesomeness? If so, is it worth picking up the authentic hardware to deliver the complete experience? Am I underestimating children by assuming that they can't simply go back and play old games once they get a taste of HD graphics and stereo sound? Are video games as timeless as films, books, or music?
つづく...(Click here to read more)
On the other hand, the birth of my son has sent my mind leaping into the future and wondering about the decisions I will have to make that will shape his outlook of the world. How will I explain religion to him? Will he accept my general abstaining from spirituality or will he start preaching to me? What kinds of questions will he ask me about sex, death, morality, and politics? Will either one of us be satisfied with my answers?
Then there are matters of pop culture: which Star Wars trilogy should he watch first? Who should be his first captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise? And whatever shall I do about video games?
It sounds silly to put pastimes on par with philosophical issues, but the reality is that all of this stuff is going to come up. Parents don't get to choose what their kids will be into but they certainly get a vote. I was raised in a Jewish household so Christmas has always felt foreign to me. My parents loved The Beatles so I've always been more interested in their music (and their peers) rather than Elvis. Can I really say that one of these culture-defining choices had more of an impact on me than the other?
Of course, there is no direct relationship between what my parents supported and what I adopted. They both strongly encouraged me to read more books, so much so that I eventually rebelled out of spite. They were fairly ambivalent concerning video games (never outright condemning them but not accepting them either) but I embraced them and continue to hold them in high regard.
So where does that leave me and Go? I haven't started playing music for him yet but I've been considering building him a playlist. Books are going to be important for his bilingual education; I wish there was a local library with any significant English collection but I don't believe there is. Movies will come later, I suppose, and we'll just have to see what's appropriate at that time. I can't wait to take him to a movie theater for the first time. It's just too bad there aren't any cinemas in Japan with gilded lobbies or curtains.
Video games are another story, for where do we begin? In my case, the seed was planted with the Atari and cultivated with the rise of arcades. Over the years, I played everything I could get my hands on and watched the medium evolve from abstract blocks and beeps to hand-drawn sprites to the advanced 3D models used today. Should I try to simulate that experience for Go with a (condensed) journey through gaming history? Or should he jump in at the present level and start his journey with Pokemon or whatever the kids are into nowadays?
The catch here is that the road of video games is largely a one-way street while other media is more timeless. I can read a fifty or even a hundred-year old book and I should be able to comprehend it and potentially enjoy it at face value. Likewise, when the time comes Go should have little trouble understanding Star Wars or Raiders of the Lost Ark even though they were made thirty years before he was born. But if Go even looks at a modern video game, how can he then pick up Super Mario Brothers?
The good news is that Japan offers me a lot of options in this matter. Arcades still exist in great quantities and a number of them carry older games to appeal to older gamers. There's also a roaring retro-game market in this country (which I wrote about earlier this week) so I could pick up an actual Famicom and a few of the classics to give Go his first taste in style. Of course, all three consoles have their share of downloadable versions of old games, to say nothing of emulators on the PC.
So what do you think? Should Go get the history lesson approach to gaming or just ride the wave of high resolution 21st century awesomeness? If so, is it worth picking up the authentic hardware to deliver the complete experience? Am I underestimating children by assuming that they can't simply go back and play old games once they get a taste of HD graphics and stereo sound? Are video games as timeless as films, books, or music?
Labels: Japan, movies, number one son, predicting the future, video games
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Daddy's Home
Today turned out to be a very nice day. I went to work and was sent straight home because there's nothing for me to do over the summer. While I admit it was a bit of a nuisance commuting all the way there and back, I'll take the early release over an awkward day of waiting every time.
Mako was delighted to have me around all day. She says Go was also happy to see me, though at this point it's still impossible to tell whether he's happy or just making faces. Either way it was lovely to just be here and help out. Go doesn't sleep much when we put him down but he can fall asleep in our arms, so I served as a valuable distraction throughout the afternoon. Of course, when the two of them took a nap I got in some time on BioShock. This just in: that game is still awesome.
In sports news, I got to watch the Yankees win their way into first place. The team's problems are evident: their starting pitching continues to underperform and several of their stars seem to need a lot of rest these days because of their age, but this team is good. Good enough to get to the World Series? Probably not, but at this point they look like a solid Wild Card contender. Sometimes that's all it takes.
In national (as in this particular nation where I live) sports news, this year's Nagoya sumo tournament isn't going so well. Everyone I like lost today, which left me feeling sad. However, the day ended well when Hakuho, the boring Yokozuna who just beats everybody, lost as well. This means that the tournament is still wide open as we approach the final weekend. Go for it...um...anyone but Hakuho!
There was also the matter of a total eclipse this morning that was visible in Japan. Unfortunately, we weren't really in the target area and it was horribly overcast all morning, so we saw nothing in our skies. NHK did manage to give us a nice HD closeup of the phenomenon, at least once they were done having two dudes stand in a forest where it's always dark. Hey assholes, the point of an eclipse is that the sun disappears, so try hanging out someplace bright next time. I hear "next time" is twenty-six years away by the way, so there's time to find a cave or crevasse.
OK, we all know the big news today is my son. It's been a month since he was born. We didn't do anything special to commemorate the occasion, although I did snap the following picture. Enjoy!
Excuse me for not getting up. I've had a busy life.
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Mako was delighted to have me around all day. She says Go was also happy to see me, though at this point it's still impossible to tell whether he's happy or just making faces. Either way it was lovely to just be here and help out. Go doesn't sleep much when we put him down but he can fall asleep in our arms, so I served as a valuable distraction throughout the afternoon. Of course, when the two of them took a nap I got in some time on BioShock. This just in: that game is still awesome.
In sports news, I got to watch the Yankees win their way into first place. The team's problems are evident: their starting pitching continues to underperform and several of their stars seem to need a lot of rest these days because of their age, but this team is good. Good enough to get to the World Series? Probably not, but at this point they look like a solid Wild Card contender. Sometimes that's all it takes.
In national (as in this particular nation where I live) sports news, this year's Nagoya sumo tournament isn't going so well. Everyone I like lost today, which left me feeling sad. However, the day ended well when Hakuho, the boring Yokozuna who just beats everybody, lost as well. This means that the tournament is still wide open as we approach the final weekend. Go for it...um...anyone but Hakuho!
There was also the matter of a total eclipse this morning that was visible in Japan. Unfortunately, we weren't really in the target area and it was horribly overcast all morning, so we saw nothing in our skies. NHK did manage to give us a nice HD closeup of the phenomenon, at least once they were done having two dudes stand in a forest where it's always dark. Hey assholes, the point of an eclipse is that the sun disappears, so try hanging out someplace bright next time. I hear "next time" is twenty-six years away by the way, so there's time to find a cave or crevasse.
OK, we all know the big news today is my son. It's been a month since he was born. We didn't do anything special to commemorate the occasion, although I did snap the following picture. Enjoy!
Excuse me for not getting up. I've had a busy life.
Labels: baseball, family, Japan, number one son, sports, sumo, teaching, Yankees
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Which Way to GO?
What I absolutely didn't want to happen is slowly happening. All of my recent posts have been dominated by my son. Obviously this is a big deal and I should be writing about it, but this blog is more than just a record of what I'm doing. It's my virtual representative on the Internet, my cyber-proxy, my web face, and I'm not going to just hand it over to my baby boy just yet. This site may be called feitclub but Daddy is the clubmaster, not little Go.
The problem is there's not much else to discuss because Go is a real handful. Unless he's asleep, there's never any time for me or Mako to relax or even do regular chores. Go doesn't sit quietly and watch us live our life, he insists on being attended to at all times. I've only recently come to understand that I can reduce his cries with a little bouncing in my arms or other hands-on contact, but this is merely a standoff rather than a victory. The best possible outcome is he falls asleep for a few minutes, but typically he ends up crying until we feed him. I don't know where he's putting all this liquid sustenance we're giving him, but I guess babies have a very high metabolism and consumption/excretion ratio. Most of what we put it in doesn't come back out.
Work is still work, but there was this weird thing that happened this week that got me thinking. As seen in this tweet, I was introduced to a Japanese-Canadian girl who was in town visiting her grandparents. The school decided she should be my "assistant" for fifth period and they told me this more or less ten minutes before fifth period began. While this girl was very pleasant and I might have come up with something we could have done together with even an hour of foreknowledge, their plan put both of us in an extremely awkward position. I didn't know how to integrate her into my one-man show of wild gestures and she didn't know the first thing about teaching English in Japan. Even if she did, no twelve year old wants to stand in front of other twelve year olds and play teacher anyway! I had to do that once in sixth grade and it was mortifying (even though I did do a good job ^_^).
More than being another strange moment in my Japanese life, the incident reminded me just how different Japanese and American* children really are. At this point I've met my share of kids with English-speaking parents, some of whom grew up here in Japan and others who grew up elsewhere. The way they behave is just so fundamentally different I can't believe it. Those kids who grew up overseas are basically little people: you can talk to them about anything and they'll respond well to your questions, asking plenty of their own of you as well. But the ones who grew up in Japan are just really quiet. You can talk to them one on one but they'll barely say a thing. Everything about them (vocabulary, body language, speech patterns) seems restrained.
*American, Canadian, whatever. We're all on the same team and we're more alike than we admit it. This girl was from Toronto so she's practically a (upstate) New Yorker.
I don't need to tell you that I want Go to be more like this visiting child than any of my regular students. Whether their silence is a social pressure (they don't want to be seen speaking too much English in front of their peers) or simply the programming of Japanese institutions, I couldn't say. Either way I looked at this little girl and thought to myself "How can I make sure Go grows up like her?"
The reactionary answer is "Get the hell out of here" but I'm not ready to give up on Japan just yet. After all, Go is my son and I'm going to be actively doing my part to raise him and promote values that I feel are important. I'm not saying he needs to be a loud-mouth braggart but so long as I'm around, surely I can leave my mark on his personality as much as Japan can. The kids that I've met here, I don't really know their parents at all. Maybe they just all came from really quiet households? I don't have enough data to draw any conclusions, so I shouldn't assume that Go will automatically grow up as some kind of tortured soul in Japan.
*sigh* You see what this baby is doing to me? Two weeks of staring at his cute little face and I'm already worried about his future and whether or not I'm doing enough for him. Babies are powerful little creatures, let me tell you.
つづく...(Click here to read more)
The problem is there's not much else to discuss because Go is a real handful. Unless he's asleep, there's never any time for me or Mako to relax or even do regular chores. Go doesn't sit quietly and watch us live our life, he insists on being attended to at all times. I've only recently come to understand that I can reduce his cries with a little bouncing in my arms or other hands-on contact, but this is merely a standoff rather than a victory. The best possible outcome is he falls asleep for a few minutes, but typically he ends up crying until we feed him. I don't know where he's putting all this liquid sustenance we're giving him, but I guess babies have a very high metabolism and consumption/excretion ratio. Most of what we put it in doesn't come back out.
Work is still work, but there was this weird thing that happened this week that got me thinking. As seen in this tweet, I was introduced to a Japanese-Canadian girl who was in town visiting her grandparents. The school decided she should be my "assistant" for fifth period and they told me this more or less ten minutes before fifth period began. While this girl was very pleasant and I might have come up with something we could have done together with even an hour of foreknowledge, their plan put both of us in an extremely awkward position. I didn't know how to integrate her into my one-man show of wild gestures and she didn't know the first thing about teaching English in Japan. Even if she did, no twelve year old wants to stand in front of other twelve year olds and play teacher anyway! I had to do that once in sixth grade and it was mortifying (even though I did do a good job ^_^).
More than being another strange moment in my Japanese life, the incident reminded me just how different Japanese and American* children really are. At this point I've met my share of kids with English-speaking parents, some of whom grew up here in Japan and others who grew up elsewhere. The way they behave is just so fundamentally different I can't believe it. Those kids who grew up overseas are basically little people: you can talk to them about anything and they'll respond well to your questions, asking plenty of their own of you as well. But the ones who grew up in Japan are just really quiet. You can talk to them one on one but they'll barely say a thing. Everything about them (vocabulary, body language, speech patterns) seems restrained.
*American, Canadian, whatever. We're all on the same team and we're more alike than we admit it. This girl was from Toronto so she's practically a (upstate) New Yorker.
I don't need to tell you that I want Go to be more like this visiting child than any of my regular students. Whether their silence is a social pressure (they don't want to be seen speaking too much English in front of their peers) or simply the programming of Japanese institutions, I couldn't say. Either way I looked at this little girl and thought to myself "How can I make sure Go grows up like her?"
The reactionary answer is "Get the hell out of here" but I'm not ready to give up on Japan just yet. After all, Go is my son and I'm going to be actively doing my part to raise him and promote values that I feel are important. I'm not saying he needs to be a loud-mouth braggart but so long as I'm around, surely I can leave my mark on his personality as much as Japan can. The kids that I've met here, I don't really know their parents at all. Maybe they just all came from really quiet households? I don't have enough data to draw any conclusions, so I shouldn't assume that Go will automatically grow up as some kind of tortured soul in Japan.
*sigh* You see what this baby is doing to me? Two weeks of staring at his cute little face and I'm already worried about his future and whether or not I'm doing enough for him. Babies are powerful little creatures, let me tell you.
Labels: Japan, number one son, predicting the future, teaching
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Dependents' Day
To all my American friends (in America), I hope you enjoy your Fourth of July to the fullest. My Independence Day has been a celebration of not being independent anymore. Mako and Go have come home!
I know, I'm as surprised as you are. She called me late one night this week and asked me if I was done building the crib. I was not, and she asked me to get it ready because she wanted to bring the baby home. I thought she would spend at least one week with her parents after leaving the hospital (perhaps even two or three), but that didn't happen. What exactly did happen I'll never know, but something prompted Mako to leave their house much sooner than we had discussed.
So far, this baby thing is not going as smoothly as my research indicated it would. I was under the impression that newborns slept a lot (hence the expression "sleeping like a baby") but so far, Go doesn't sleep much. I knew he wouldn't be able to sleep through the night but I thought he would spend more of his time asleep than he does. He seems to be always hungry, which worries me that we're misreading the signs and feeding him when he doesn't want it. Are babies like goldfish? Will they consume anything that they receive to the point of detriment?
That's all I have time to say on the matter for now. Things are obviously going to change a lot and I'll have to accept that. At least I can count on finding time to write at work as my responsibilities decrease, because my responsibilities at home took a massive upturn today. Still, I used the word "celebrate" for a reason: I'm very happy Mako is home and that our son is here with us. This is going to be hard work but we knew that. I only wish I knew if things got easier or harder from here - the books seem to conflict on that point!
つづく...(Click here to read more)
I know, I'm as surprised as you are. She called me late one night this week and asked me if I was done building the crib. I was not, and she asked me to get it ready because she wanted to bring the baby home. I thought she would spend at least one week with her parents after leaving the hospital (perhaps even two or three), but that didn't happen. What exactly did happen I'll never know, but something prompted Mako to leave their house much sooner than we had discussed.
So far, this baby thing is not going as smoothly as my research indicated it would. I was under the impression that newborns slept a lot (hence the expression "sleeping like a baby") but so far, Go doesn't sleep much. I knew he wouldn't be able to sleep through the night but I thought he would spend more of his time asleep than he does. He seems to be always hungry, which worries me that we're misreading the signs and feeding him when he doesn't want it. Are babies like goldfish? Will they consume anything that they receive to the point of detriment?
That's all I have time to say on the matter for now. Things are obviously going to change a lot and I'll have to accept that. At least I can count on finding time to write at work as my responsibilities decrease, because my responsibilities at home took a massive upturn today. Still, I used the word "celebrate" for a reason: I'm very happy Mako is home and that our son is here with us. This is going to be hard work but we knew that. I only wish I knew if things got easier or harder from here - the books seem to conflict on that point!
Labels: family, number one son
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Japan, baby, sleepy...I've written this one before, haven't I?
I've been in and out of work over the last week, missing time to visit Mako and the baby, particularly to be there when they checked out yesterday morning. Can't say it's any easier to get myself in the mood to teach these days, but at this point I credit the unpleasant weather and the fact that this semester is practically over. The fact that I missed a couple days here and there adds to the feeling that we're all just killing time in English class until summer vacation starts. Of course, the fact that half of my classes were canceled today so the kids could go swimming is another reminder that what I do isn't all that important.
I know my attitudes towards this job (and this country) are cyclical. It just so happens that so far, this year's cycles have been warped by dealing with a difficult pregnancy and then the birth itself which was ill-timed to say the least. I'm confident that once the summer has passed, giving me ample time to adjust to the serious life changes that are in store for me, I'll be eager to get back to work when the new semester starts (in August, damn it, thanks to that week off we took for the "new flu" panic).
Speaking of the baby, since that's all everyone wants to know about lately, he is with Mako at her parents' house and doing what babies do: consume, excrete, and occasionally sleep. He's still the most adorable baby I've ever seen, but I guess there's an obvious bias there. For those curious, yes, I have held him and I've given him a bottle a couple of times, but I have yet to try my hand at the infamous diaper duty. Don't worry, I won't leave Mako hanging in that department; I'm no monster, I'm merely squeemish.
Augh, it's past midnight and I'm still up. This kind of behavior can wait for the baby to arrive. He's nowhere near the point where he sleeps through the night, according to Mako, so I should really try harder to get my sleep while I can.
つづく...(Click here to read more)
I know my attitudes towards this job (and this country) are cyclical. It just so happens that so far, this year's cycles have been warped by dealing with a difficult pregnancy and then the birth itself which was ill-timed to say the least. I'm confident that once the summer has passed, giving me ample time to adjust to the serious life changes that are in store for me, I'll be eager to get back to work when the new semester starts (in August, damn it, thanks to that week off we took for the "new flu" panic).
Speaking of the baby, since that's all everyone wants to know about lately, he is with Mako at her parents' house and doing what babies do: consume, excrete, and occasionally sleep. He's still the most adorable baby I've ever seen, but I guess there's an obvious bias there. For those curious, yes, I have held him and I've given him a bottle a couple of times, but I have yet to try my hand at the infamous diaper duty. Don't worry, I won't leave Mako hanging in that department; I'm no monster, I'm merely squeemish.
Augh, it's past midnight and I'm still up. This kind of behavior can wait for the baby to arrive. He's nowhere near the point where he sleeps through the night, according to Mako, so I should really try harder to get my sleep while I can.
Labels: family, Japan, number one son, teaching
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Progeny, Thy Name is...
So I've got this baby to take care of now. What am I going to call it?
Quick note: you might have missed it, but I posted the full story of my son's birth right here. I wanted the post to be dated on his birthday (which is when I started writing it, honestly) but then when I made this quickie post to celebrate the twentieth anniversary of Batman, the other post kind of slipped down on the page a bit and my usual auto-notification system ignored it. So if you didn't already, please go back and read about our day-long delivery experience. Or you can tell me what you think of Batman, that's cool too.
What was I talking about? Oh right, the baby. My inbox and Facebook have been overflowing with messages about the baby. First, let me thank everyone who wrote in to congratulate us. I really appreciate all the love and I know Mako does to. She's still in the hospital right now but whenever I see her, she asks about what information I have shared with my family and friends. Unfortunately, she's a bit sensitive about her appearance right now, so she doesn't want me to share any photos with her in them. In fact, she doesn't even want to see them on my phone! The first picture I chose to add to my mobile phone's background was a shot of her holding the baby because I felt it was a beautiful picture of two people I love. When she spotted it, she immediately told me to change it lest someone else see her face au natural.
I am hoping to get a nice shot of our new family soon, but I presume it will have to wait until she is discharged so she can put on her makeup. No kidding: both Mako and her mother were really worried on Sunday because they left the house without going through their usual beauty routines. Ladies, if you're reading this, believe me when I tell you that any human being who is seriously concerned you are not wearing makeup is a douchebag - especially if you are on your way to the hospital to have a baby!
For those of you clamoring for more baby details, here they are. My son was born on June 22nd at 2:33 AM. At the time, he was 1' 8" and weighed 7 lbs 7 oz. These seem to be above-average numbers in Japan; he is noticeably larger than the other babies I see in the maternity ward. So far, his appearance is more Asian than Caucasian. His hair color, eye color, eye shape and skin tone all resemble his mother's more than my own. However, we all agree that facially, he looks like me in some way, particularly the eyes and nose. Watching these features develop over time will be very exciting.
One weird thing I must talk about are his hands. When I first saw him after the nurses toweled him off, his hands were pale, wrinkled and the fingernails were a dark crimson. In other words, he had what I would call "wizard hands." Subsequent washing and nail trimming has made them more human than magic-user, but they still seem quite wrinkled. Mako thinks they look like my hands even though he has her nails. No one has laid claim to his feet yet.
Of course, the big question everyone wants to know is "what is the baby's name?" While I was coy about this for a long time, the fact is we picked two names (one male, one female) months ago. Once we learned the gender we threw out the girl's name and have been using his name ever since. Some late-term kicking made me jokingly refer to him as "Bruce Lee Feit" for a stretch, something Mako immediately mock-embraced and then latched onto for a while, but otherwise all that time I pretended we were still deciding, we weren't. I just wanted to say the baby's name to his face before telling other people.
Now that he's heard it, I can tell you all my son's name is...
GO
In Japanese, that's written with the following character:
...which means "great," "powerful" or as I like to think of it, "awesome." It also represents Australia in certain contexts, which is pretty random. I guess we'll have to take a trip there someday.
(If you just want to learn more about this character, including seeing a list of words that use it, you can visit this page for more information)
It took us a long time to settle on GO. Mako, much to my surprise, was more interested in Western sounding names than I was. As I previously mentioned, she was quite fond of "DJ" (as in "Daniel Junior") and it took some stern refusals on my part to force her to drop it. Meanwhile, I wanted a Japanese name from the start but Mako shot down all of my ideas as being too old-fashioned or because she felt they were inspired by anime or movies. I still maintain Kenshiro Feit would be an incredible name for a child but she disagreed. Vehemently.
In the end, GO satisfied us both and it had the added benefit of being instantly recognizable to both English and Japanese speakers. Japanese doesn't use a lot of vowel sounds but the way certain names are romanized, it can be confusing if you are unfamiliar with the language. Cool names like Ryu and Iori would only confuse my American family and friends, and certain English-derived Japanese names would be romanized in odd ways (i.e. Rei/Ray or Tomu/Tom) GO is simple, straightforward and if I may say so, dynamic.
(Strictly speaking, GO is a long "o" which can be romanized as Gou, Goh or Gô. But much like Tokyo is never written as Toukyou, GO is just going to be GO in my book)
For those curious parties, there will be no middle name or any other artificial names recorded for my son. Middle names are sources of endless confusion in Japan because the custom is not well understood. I can't tell you how many times I've been questioned or forced to rewrite application forms because I neglected to include my middle name or I did so and the clerk misinterpreted it. No, his name is GO. That's that.
For those curious, GO is a Cancer in the West and a Ox/Bull in the East, the latter being particularly popular in Japan. Don't feel pressure to pay attention to either though. I view the whole thing as a curiosity myself, but I have the luxury of being a Scorpion AND a Dragon which is just plain cool. GO shares a birthday with some notable movie-types, such as Meryl Streep, Hong Kong actor/director Stephen Chow and...Bruce Campbell???
Is it too late to name him Bruce?
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Quick note: you might have missed it, but I posted the full story of my son's birth right here. I wanted the post to be dated on his birthday (which is when I started writing it, honestly) but then when I made this quickie post to celebrate the twentieth anniversary of Batman, the other post kind of slipped down on the page a bit and my usual auto-notification system ignored it. So if you didn't already, please go back and read about our day-long delivery experience. Or you can tell me what you think of Batman, that's cool too.
What was I talking about? Oh right, the baby. My inbox and Facebook have been overflowing with messages about the baby. First, let me thank everyone who wrote in to congratulate us. I really appreciate all the love and I know Mako does to. She's still in the hospital right now but whenever I see her, she asks about what information I have shared with my family and friends. Unfortunately, she's a bit sensitive about her appearance right now, so she doesn't want me to share any photos with her in them. In fact, she doesn't even want to see them on my phone! The first picture I chose to add to my mobile phone's background was a shot of her holding the baby because I felt it was a beautiful picture of two people I love. When she spotted it, she immediately told me to change it lest someone else see her face au natural.
I am hoping to get a nice shot of our new family soon, but I presume it will have to wait until she is discharged so she can put on her makeup. No kidding: both Mako and her mother were really worried on Sunday because they left the house without going through their usual beauty routines. Ladies, if you're reading this, believe me when I tell you that any human being who is seriously concerned you are not wearing makeup is a douchebag - especially if you are on your way to the hospital to have a baby!
For those of you clamoring for more baby details, here they are. My son was born on June 22nd at 2:33 AM. At the time, he was 1' 8" and weighed 7 lbs 7 oz. These seem to be above-average numbers in Japan; he is noticeably larger than the other babies I see in the maternity ward. So far, his appearance is more Asian than Caucasian. His hair color, eye color, eye shape and skin tone all resemble his mother's more than my own. However, we all agree that facially, he looks like me in some way, particularly the eyes and nose. Watching these features develop over time will be very exciting.
One weird thing I must talk about are his hands. When I first saw him after the nurses toweled him off, his hands were pale, wrinkled and the fingernails were a dark crimson. In other words, he had what I would call "wizard hands." Subsequent washing and nail trimming has made them more human than magic-user, but they still seem quite wrinkled. Mako thinks they look like my hands even though he has her nails. No one has laid claim to his feet yet.
Of course, the big question everyone wants to know is "what is the baby's name?" While I was coy about this for a long time, the fact is we picked two names (one male, one female) months ago. Once we learned the gender we threw out the girl's name and have been using his name ever since. Some late-term kicking made me jokingly refer to him as "Bruce Lee Feit" for a stretch, something Mako immediately mock-embraced and then latched onto for a while, but otherwise all that time I pretended we were still deciding, we weren't. I just wanted to say the baby's name to his face before telling other people.
Now that he's heard it, I can tell you all my son's name is...
GO
In Japanese, that's written with the following character:
...which means "great," "powerful" or as I like to think of it, "awesome." It also represents Australia in certain contexts, which is pretty random. I guess we'll have to take a trip there someday.
(If you just want to learn more about this character, including seeing a list of words that use it, you can visit this page for more information)
It took us a long time to settle on GO. Mako, much to my surprise, was more interested in Western sounding names than I was. As I previously mentioned, she was quite fond of "DJ" (as in "Daniel Junior") and it took some stern refusals on my part to force her to drop it. Meanwhile, I wanted a Japanese name from the start but Mako shot down all of my ideas as being too old-fashioned or because she felt they were inspired by anime or movies. I still maintain Kenshiro Feit would be an incredible name for a child but she disagreed. Vehemently.
In the end, GO satisfied us both and it had the added benefit of being instantly recognizable to both English and Japanese speakers. Japanese doesn't use a lot of vowel sounds but the way certain names are romanized, it can be confusing if you are unfamiliar with the language. Cool names like Ryu and Iori would only confuse my American family and friends, and certain English-derived Japanese names would be romanized in odd ways (i.e. Rei/Ray or Tomu/Tom) GO is simple, straightforward and if I may say so, dynamic.
(Strictly speaking, GO is a long "o" which can be romanized as Gou, Goh or Gô. But much like Tokyo is never written as Toukyou, GO is just going to be GO in my book)
For those curious parties, there will be no middle name or any other artificial names recorded for my son. Middle names are sources of endless confusion in Japan because the custom is not well understood. I can't tell you how many times I've been questioned or forced to rewrite application forms because I neglected to include my middle name or I did so and the clerk misinterpreted it. No, his name is GO. That's that.
For those curious, GO is a Cancer in the West and a Ox/Bull in the East, the latter being particularly popular in Japan. Don't feel pressure to pay attention to either though. I view the whole thing as a curiosity myself, but I have the luxury of being a Scorpion AND a Dragon which is just plain cool. GO shares a birthday with some notable movie-types, such as Meryl Streep, Hong Kong actor/director Stephen Chow and...Bruce Campbell???
Is it too late to name him Bruce?
Labels: family, number one son
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Unbelievable Memories
It's been twenty years since Batman was released in theaters. I remember begging my Mom to take me to an afternoon matinee after Children's Theater to see it and it blew me away. I watched it again on Saturday night and it didn't disappoint, although the new Nolan Batman flicks are noticeably better. Not that Keaton v. Nicholson doesn't rock, but the storytelling is just light-years ahead of the older pictures.
Oh, were you expecting something more relevant to recent events? Fine, look at this:
"I'm Batman." What, like he knows I'm fibbing?
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Oh, were you expecting something more relevant to recent events? Fine, look at this:
"I'm Batman." What, like he knows I'm fibbing?
Labels: family, fuzzy memories, movies, number one son
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Monday, June 22, 2009
The Miracle of Birth
If there's one thing movies and television shows have taught me, the birth of a child is the greatest day of a person's life. Sadly, it seems Hollywood is a habitual liar because I felt that the twenty-four hours I spent in a hospital waiting for my son to be born was one of the worst days of my life. Thankfully it all ended well.
Mako shook me awake around 2:45AM on Sunday morning, clutching herself and saying "We need to go to the hospital." It would later turn out that she had been in pain for nearly two hours prior to that but she stuck it out and waited to see if it would pass. It never did, so we all threw on our clothes and drove to the hospital I was understandably excited, if a little drowsy.
When we arrived I was quite surprised at the lack of initiative from the skeleton crew working the off-hours. Technically speaking, this hospital is "closed" on Sunday but they maintain a side entrance and a small reception desk during these periods. Mako called them before we left so when we arrived, they knew we were coming. That doesn't mean they did anything though. I distinctly remember one man walk past us, acknowledge our presence by simply saying "Ah, Feit-san. Go to the fifth floor." without breaking his stride. You would think a pregnant woman bent over in pain would warrant a wheelchair or some measure of physical assistance, but not here.
The fifth floor was a little busier than the ground floor, probably because there's always something going on in the maternity ward. Newborns arrive when they arrive and both they and their mothers require 24-hour care. Still, despite the buzzing of nurses around us most of the lights were off on the floor, so we spent our initial wait in the dark. Eventually Mako got a bed in the "labor room" and we were told that despite the pain, Mako was only dilated three centimeters and she needed to be at ten centimeters before any serious attempt to give birth could be made. When we asked how long that might take, they said "a while."
I must try to set the scene here by describing the labor room. There is only one room and all expectant mothers have to share it, apparently. I don't know how many beds were in the room but there was little more than a wall and a curtain to separate Mako's bed from the others. Mako was also located right next to the toilet and near the examination chair, so we were in a fairly high traffic section of a very small room. It was here that we had to wait...and wait...and wait...
As noon approached and after repeated claims of "it'll be a bit longer" it was evident that while Mako needed to lie in bed and wait, we didn't all necessarily have to sit next to her until the baby arrived. Mako's mother stayed and encouraged me to go with my father-in-law back to the house and clean up. We were all exhausted, having woken up in the middle of night only to sit and wait for nine hours in the corner of the labor room, so the idea of a shower sounded pretty good. Mako's dad also suggested we have some lunch, which I thought might help me cope with all the stress but it didn't change much. That's how nervous I was: not even eating made me feel better.
We went back to the house and I washed up. My father-in-law told me to try and take a nap which was virtually impossible. Despite all the waiting with no end in sight, I was still worried that the baby would arrive at any moment. I laid down and maybe nodded off for forty minutes or so, but I awoke sharply and scared that I had missed the birth. I hadn't, of course, but I wouldn't feel calm until I was back at the hospital and next to Mako.
Hours and hours went by, and I spent all of them by Mako's side in the corner of this horrible, horrible room. I'm not going to point any fingers here, because I certainly don't have the intestinal fortitude to endure even a tenth of what a pregnant woman goes though, but everything in this labor room carried a horrible stench. The human body generates a lot of foul smelling byproducts and this room was where they all get discharged. The delivery room (when we finally got there) was even worse, but the labor room's odor and total lack of privacy was miserable. Adding insult to injury was that my only seat was a tiny stool with no back and nothing to lean against. Between Mako's bed, her I.V. and the table where we laid out her belongings, there was barely any space for any visitors to sit by the bed.
Eventually I went out again with her father for another meal, but I again spent the entire time thinking only of her. It obviously can't compare to the physical pain a pregnant woman experiences, but to see my wife in such torturous agony all day while she waits and waits was really painful for me. However, the idea of not being with her felt even worse because we had decided together to try and have a baby. Wouldn't leaving her to have the baby without me be a betrayal of our mutual agreement?
Speaking of which, one of the worst things about this shared labor room was overhearing all of the other patients. In the next bed over was a woman who had checked in some time before us. At first she was just sleeping but as the evening approached, she went into the delivery room which was within an audible distance. She shrieked and screamed and we eventually heard the baby's first cries. A little while later, a man showed up and was surprised when he found out the baby was already born. This was obviously the father and I never saw him visit her once that day. Where the fuck was this guy that he couldn't attend his own child's birth or even comfort his wife as she struggled? His failure as a father/husband reminded me why I needed to sit next to Mako and just ignore my back pain and exhaustion. Yes, I left twice to eat meals, but I never left her alone and on both occasions I came back within an hour. At no point was Mako without a member of her family on hand.
As the sun went down, it occurred to me that Mako had just spent the entirety of the Summer Solstice indoors, waiting for this baby. After about seventeen hours, things started to look like the baby was coming. We were still in the labor room but as her dilation increased, Mako was encouraged to try pushing to speed up the process. While I had spent most of the day just sitting with Mako and occasionally massaging her, it was during these initial pushes that I actually had something important to do. Mako was standing up and hugging me, holding onto me for leverage and squeezing with all her might as she tried to push. It was crazy intense and while it would prove futile (and it hurt like hell), it was the undisputed highlight of Sunday because I felt like I mattered.
This is as good a time as any to mention how little attention the hospital staff paid attention to me, which I found deeply insulting. Maybe it's just the culture of Japan to leave the husband out of the birth process, but as I spent my entire Sunday next to my wife trying to console her and assist in the delivery our child, you would think that at one point someone would just start talking to me about something, anything, to acknowledge my constant presence. Instead, I was spoken about but almost never spoken to. The bad news is, I'm pretty sure it was that old-fashioned Japanese racism at work.
For those unfamiliar with Japanese racism, I should explain that it's not actually hateful as much as it's clueless and stupid. I'm sure none of the nurses or doctors felt anything was wrong with me, they just never thought to treat me like a human being. Instead, I was treated like a gaijin. They would ask my wife "where is your husband from?" and "does your husband speak Japanese?" instead of just asking me directly. When they needed our signatures on waivers, they would explain everything to her (while I listened) and then look at me and start stammering, mumbling to themselves "oh, how do I explain this since you cannot read?" Under the circumstances I let it all slide but inside I was pretty pissed.
But I digress...around ten o'clock we finally entered the delivery room. Mako gave it her all but after spending her entire day in pain on a bed without eating (she had no appetite at all), she found herself unable to push the baby out. They put her through a variety of poses, which means they were trying their best but it felt like they didn't really know what to do. Eventually they said there was a "bump" (こぶ in Japanese) and the baby wasn't moving any closer to the exit. Just after one AM, Mako couldn't push anymore and asked them for a C-section. True story: in Japan they call it an "imperial cut" (帝王切開).
They spent almost an hour prepping Mako for surgery and then took her away to the O.R. I was left in the dark (literally) to sit and wait to find out what was going to happen to my family. I was understandably upset by this turn of events. Was there nowhere else I could go? I knew the surgery was routine and carried relatively little risk but that couldn't stop me from worrying about what might happen on the operating table. Let's not forget that it was past two AM and I had been awake for nearly twenty-four straight hours, so I was already a little out of my mind. Being afraid that my wife or my son might not return from the O.R. was terror I didn't need.
My son was the first to appear, shortly before three AM. I wanted to be excited and revel in the moment of seeing my first child in the flesh, but all I could think about was Mako who was still absent. I asked the nurse and all she could say was "they're closing her up." While that was meant as a reassurance, I couldn't put her out of mind even as I looked down at my very healthy brand-new baby boy.
As you can guess, she eventually turned up, as did her parents who must have been up waiting for my messages. Mako was on a stretcher and couldn't sit up, but she was conscious and able to ask me if I saw the baby. I told I did and that made her smile. For all the hell the two of us had gone through (her more than me, of course), having a baby after nine months of anticipation was a wonderful feeling. I suppose if we were going to go with the surgery in the end we could have saved Mako a great many hours of discomfort by asking sooner, but we had hoped for a natural birth. Ah well, at least now my son can totally kill MacBeth.
Tell thee, Feit was from his mother's womb
Untimely ripp'd.
つづく...(Click here to read more)
Mako shook me awake around 2:45AM on Sunday morning, clutching herself and saying "We need to go to the hospital." It would later turn out that she had been in pain for nearly two hours prior to that but she stuck it out and waited to see if it would pass. It never did, so we all threw on our clothes and drove to the hospital I was understandably excited, if a little drowsy.
When we arrived I was quite surprised at the lack of initiative from the skeleton crew working the off-hours. Technically speaking, this hospital is "closed" on Sunday but they maintain a side entrance and a small reception desk during these periods. Mako called them before we left so when we arrived, they knew we were coming. That doesn't mean they did anything though. I distinctly remember one man walk past us, acknowledge our presence by simply saying "Ah, Feit-san. Go to the fifth floor." without breaking his stride. You would think a pregnant woman bent over in pain would warrant a wheelchair or some measure of physical assistance, but not here.
The fifth floor was a little busier than the ground floor, probably because there's always something going on in the maternity ward. Newborns arrive when they arrive and both they and their mothers require 24-hour care. Still, despite the buzzing of nurses around us most of the lights were off on the floor, so we spent our initial wait in the dark. Eventually Mako got a bed in the "labor room" and we were told that despite the pain, Mako was only dilated three centimeters and she needed to be at ten centimeters before any serious attempt to give birth could be made. When we asked how long that might take, they said "a while."
I must try to set the scene here by describing the labor room. There is only one room and all expectant mothers have to share it, apparently. I don't know how many beds were in the room but there was little more than a wall and a curtain to separate Mako's bed from the others. Mako was also located right next to the toilet and near the examination chair, so we were in a fairly high traffic section of a very small room. It was here that we had to wait...and wait...and wait...
As noon approached and after repeated claims of "it'll be a bit longer" it was evident that while Mako needed to lie in bed and wait, we didn't all necessarily have to sit next to her until the baby arrived. Mako's mother stayed and encouraged me to go with my father-in-law back to the house and clean up. We were all exhausted, having woken up in the middle of night only to sit and wait for nine hours in the corner of the labor room, so the idea of a shower sounded pretty good. Mako's dad also suggested we have some lunch, which I thought might help me cope with all the stress but it didn't change much. That's how nervous I was: not even eating made me feel better.
We went back to the house and I washed up. My father-in-law told me to try and take a nap which was virtually impossible. Despite all the waiting with no end in sight, I was still worried that the baby would arrive at any moment. I laid down and maybe nodded off for forty minutes or so, but I awoke sharply and scared that I had missed the birth. I hadn't, of course, but I wouldn't feel calm until I was back at the hospital and next to Mako.
Hours and hours went by, and I spent all of them by Mako's side in the corner of this horrible, horrible room. I'm not going to point any fingers here, because I certainly don't have the intestinal fortitude to endure even a tenth of what a pregnant woman goes though, but everything in this labor room carried a horrible stench. The human body generates a lot of foul smelling byproducts and this room was where they all get discharged. The delivery room (when we finally got there) was even worse, but the labor room's odor and total lack of privacy was miserable. Adding insult to injury was that my only seat was a tiny stool with no back and nothing to lean against. Between Mako's bed, her I.V. and the table where we laid out her belongings, there was barely any space for any visitors to sit by the bed.
Eventually I went out again with her father for another meal, but I again spent the entire time thinking only of her. It obviously can't compare to the physical pain a pregnant woman experiences, but to see my wife in such torturous agony all day while she waits and waits was really painful for me. However, the idea of not being with her felt even worse because we had decided together to try and have a baby. Wouldn't leaving her to have the baby without me be a betrayal of our mutual agreement?
Speaking of which, one of the worst things about this shared labor room was overhearing all of the other patients. In the next bed over was a woman who had checked in some time before us. At first she was just sleeping but as the evening approached, she went into the delivery room which was within an audible distance. She shrieked and screamed and we eventually heard the baby's first cries. A little while later, a man showed up and was surprised when he found out the baby was already born. This was obviously the father and I never saw him visit her once that day. Where the fuck was this guy that he couldn't attend his own child's birth or even comfort his wife as she struggled? His failure as a father/husband reminded me why I needed to sit next to Mako and just ignore my back pain and exhaustion. Yes, I left twice to eat meals, but I never left her alone and on both occasions I came back within an hour. At no point was Mako without a member of her family on hand.
As the sun went down, it occurred to me that Mako had just spent the entirety of the Summer Solstice indoors, waiting for this baby. After about seventeen hours, things started to look like the baby was coming. We were still in the labor room but as her dilation increased, Mako was encouraged to try pushing to speed up the process. While I had spent most of the day just sitting with Mako and occasionally massaging her, it was during these initial pushes that I actually had something important to do. Mako was standing up and hugging me, holding onto me for leverage and squeezing with all her might as she tried to push. It was crazy intense and while it would prove futile (and it hurt like hell), it was the undisputed highlight of Sunday because I felt like I mattered.
This is as good a time as any to mention how little attention the hospital staff paid attention to me, which I found deeply insulting. Maybe it's just the culture of Japan to leave the husband out of the birth process, but as I spent my entire Sunday next to my wife trying to console her and assist in the delivery our child, you would think that at one point someone would just start talking to me about something, anything, to acknowledge my constant presence. Instead, I was spoken about but almost never spoken to. The bad news is, I'm pretty sure it was that old-fashioned Japanese racism at work.
For those unfamiliar with Japanese racism, I should explain that it's not actually hateful as much as it's clueless and stupid. I'm sure none of the nurses or doctors felt anything was wrong with me, they just never thought to treat me like a human being. Instead, I was treated like a gaijin. They would ask my wife "where is your husband from?" and "does your husband speak Japanese?" instead of just asking me directly. When they needed our signatures on waivers, they would explain everything to her (while I listened) and then look at me and start stammering, mumbling to themselves "oh, how do I explain this since you cannot read?" Under the circumstances I let it all slide but inside I was pretty pissed.
But I digress...around ten o'clock we finally entered the delivery room. Mako gave it her all but after spending her entire day in pain on a bed without eating (she had no appetite at all), she found herself unable to push the baby out. They put her through a variety of poses, which means they were trying their best but it felt like they didn't really know what to do. Eventually they said there was a "bump" (こぶ in Japanese) and the baby wasn't moving any closer to the exit. Just after one AM, Mako couldn't push anymore and asked them for a C-section. True story: in Japan they call it an "imperial cut" (帝王切開).
They spent almost an hour prepping Mako for surgery and then took her away to the O.R. I was left in the dark (literally) to sit and wait to find out what was going to happen to my family. I was understandably upset by this turn of events. Was there nowhere else I could go? I knew the surgery was routine and carried relatively little risk but that couldn't stop me from worrying about what might happen on the operating table. Let's not forget that it was past two AM and I had been awake for nearly twenty-four straight hours, so I was already a little out of my mind. Being afraid that my wife or my son might not return from the O.R. was terror I didn't need.
My son was the first to appear, shortly before three AM. I wanted to be excited and revel in the moment of seeing my first child in the flesh, but all I could think about was Mako who was still absent. I asked the nurse and all she could say was "they're closing her up." While that was meant as a reassurance, I couldn't put her out of mind even as I looked down at my very healthy brand-new baby boy.
As you can guess, she eventually turned up, as did her parents who must have been up waiting for my messages. Mako was on a stretcher and couldn't sit up, but she was conscious and able to ask me if I saw the baby. I told I did and that made her smile. For all the hell the two of us had gone through (her more than me, of course), having a baby after nine months of anticipation was a wonderful feeling. I suppose if we were going to go with the surgery in the end we could have saved Mako a great many hours of discomfort by asking sooner, but we had hoped for a natural birth. Ah well, at least now my son can totally kill MacBeth.
Tell thee, Feit was from his mother's womb
Untimely ripp'd.
Labels: awkward firsts, family, Japan, marriage, number one son, pregnancy
つづく...(Click here to read more)
