Thursday, July 09, 2009
Which Way to GO?
What I absolutely didn't want to happen is slowly happening. All of my recent posts have been dominated by my son. Obviously this is a big deal and I should be writing about it, but this blog is more than just a record of what I'm doing. It's my virtual representative on the Internet, my cyber-proxy, my web face, and I'm not going to just hand it over to my baby boy just yet. This site may be called feitclub but Daddy is the clubmaster, not little Go.
The problem is there's not much else to discuss because Go is a real handful. Unless he's asleep, there's never any time for me or Mako to relax or even do regular chores. Go doesn't sit quietly and watch us live our life, he insists on being attended to at all times. I've only recently come to understand that I can reduce his cries with a little bouncing in my arms or other hands-on contact, but this is merely a standoff rather than a victory. The best possible outcome is he falls asleep for a few minutes, but typically he ends up crying until we feed him. I don't know where he's putting all this liquid sustenance we're giving him, but I guess babies have a very high metabolism and consumption/excretion ratio. Most of what we put it in doesn't come back out.
Work is still work, but there was this weird thing that happened this week that got me thinking. As seen in this tweet, I was introduced to a Japanese-Canadian girl who was in town visiting her grandparents. The school decided she should be my "assistant" for fifth period and they told me this more or less ten minutes before fifth period began. While this girl was very pleasant and I might have come up with something we could have done together with even an hour of foreknowledge, their plan put both of us in an extremely awkward position. I didn't know how to integrate her into my one-man show of wild gestures and she didn't know the first thing about teaching English in Japan. Even if she did, no twelve year old wants to stand in front of other twelve year olds and play teacher anyway! I had to do that once in sixth grade and it was mortifying (even though I did do a good job ^_^).
More than being another strange moment in my Japanese life, the incident reminded me just how different Japanese and American* children really are. At this point I've met my share of kids with English-speaking parents, some of whom grew up here in Japan and others who grew up elsewhere. The way they behave is just so fundamentally different I can't believe it. Those kids who grew up overseas are basically little people: you can talk to them about anything and they'll respond well to your questions, asking plenty of their own of you as well. But the ones who grew up in Japan are just really quiet. You can talk to them one on one but they'll barely say a thing. Everything about them (vocabulary, body language, speech patterns) seems restrained.
*American, Canadian, whatever. We're all on the same team and we're more alike than we admit it. This girl was from Toronto so she's practically a (upstate) New Yorker.
I don't need to tell you that I want Go to be more like this visiting child than any of my regular students. Whether their silence is a social pressure (they don't want to be seen speaking too much English in front of their peers) or simply the programming of Japanese institutions, I couldn't say. Either way I looked at this little girl and thought to myself "How can I make sure Go grows up like her?"
The reactionary answer is "Get the hell out of here" but I'm not ready to give up on Japan just yet. After all, Go is my son and I'm going to be actively doing my part to raise him and promote values that I feel are important. I'm not saying he needs to be a loud-mouth braggart but so long as I'm around, surely I can leave my mark on his personality as much as Japan can. The kids that I've met here, I don't really know their parents at all. Maybe they just all came from really quiet households? I don't have enough data to draw any conclusions, so I shouldn't assume that Go will automatically grow up as some kind of tortured soul in Japan.
*sigh* You see what this baby is doing to me? Two weeks of staring at his cute little face and I'm already worried about his future and whether or not I'm doing enough for him. Babies are powerful little creatures, let me tell you.
The problem is there's not much else to discuss because Go is a real handful. Unless he's asleep, there's never any time for me or Mako to relax or even do regular chores. Go doesn't sit quietly and watch us live our life, he insists on being attended to at all times. I've only recently come to understand that I can reduce his cries with a little bouncing in my arms or other hands-on contact, but this is merely a standoff rather than a victory. The best possible outcome is he falls asleep for a few minutes, but typically he ends up crying until we feed him. I don't know where he's putting all this liquid sustenance we're giving him, but I guess babies have a very high metabolism and consumption/excretion ratio. Most of what we put it in doesn't come back out.
Work is still work, but there was this weird thing that happened this week that got me thinking. As seen in this tweet, I was introduced to a Japanese-Canadian girl who was in town visiting her grandparents. The school decided she should be my "assistant" for fifth period and they told me this more or less ten minutes before fifth period began. While this girl was very pleasant and I might have come up with something we could have done together with even an hour of foreknowledge, their plan put both of us in an extremely awkward position. I didn't know how to integrate her into my one-man show of wild gestures and she didn't know the first thing about teaching English in Japan. Even if she did, no twelve year old wants to stand in front of other twelve year olds and play teacher anyway! I had to do that once in sixth grade and it was mortifying (even though I did do a good job ^_^).
More than being another strange moment in my Japanese life, the incident reminded me just how different Japanese and American* children really are. At this point I've met my share of kids with English-speaking parents, some of whom grew up here in Japan and others who grew up elsewhere. The way they behave is just so fundamentally different I can't believe it. Those kids who grew up overseas are basically little people: you can talk to them about anything and they'll respond well to your questions, asking plenty of their own of you as well. But the ones who grew up in Japan are just really quiet. You can talk to them one on one but they'll barely say a thing. Everything about them (vocabulary, body language, speech patterns) seems restrained.
*American, Canadian, whatever. We're all on the same team and we're more alike than we admit it. This girl was from Toronto so she's practically a (upstate) New Yorker.
I don't need to tell you that I want Go to be more like this visiting child than any of my regular students. Whether their silence is a social pressure (they don't want to be seen speaking too much English in front of their peers) or simply the programming of Japanese institutions, I couldn't say. Either way I looked at this little girl and thought to myself "How can I make sure Go grows up like her?"
The reactionary answer is "Get the hell out of here" but I'm not ready to give up on Japan just yet. After all, Go is my son and I'm going to be actively doing my part to raise him and promote values that I feel are important. I'm not saying he needs to be a loud-mouth braggart but so long as I'm around, surely I can leave my mark on his personality as much as Japan can. The kids that I've met here, I don't really know their parents at all. Maybe they just all came from really quiet households? I don't have enough data to draw any conclusions, so I shouldn't assume that Go will automatically grow up as some kind of tortured soul in Japan.
*sigh* You see what this baby is doing to me? Two weeks of staring at his cute little face and I'm already worried about his future and whether or not I'm doing enough for him. Babies are powerful little creatures, let me tell you.
Labels: Japan, number one son, predicting the future, teaching
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Ah, the joys of fatherhood. Welcome to the club, sir. It only goes downhill from here. But believe me when I say its worth it.
And although you don't want every post to be about Go, the fact they are shows just how involved you are and how much you're thinking about him. A lot of other fathers I know (if you can call them that) don't even know if their kid has a middle name, let alone anything else.
Go is gonna be fine, and provided the school stops screwing you over every other day, you'll be fine too. :oD
And although you don't want every post to be about Go, the fact they are shows just how involved you are and how much you're thinking about him. A lot of other fathers I know (if you can call them that) don't even know if their kid has a middle name, let alone anything else.
Go is gonna be fine, and provided the school stops screwing you over every other day, you'll be fine too. :oD
Downhill? I'm really looking forward to the point when he can at least respond to the stimuli around him. At this point, the only reason we know he's not blind is he blinks when we turn the lights on or off. Then I can look forward to his first words when I'll discover if our bilingual plans have succeeded or not.
LAWL, I didn't mean it when I said downhill. Oh sure, you're going to get run ragged and age about 20 years in the space of just 1, but man, there is NOTHING like when your baby cries in the night and you go get him and put him bed with you, and when you wake up you see he's already awake and when he sees you open your eyes he cracks the biggest smile....
Man, if you can experience that and not feel like you're the king of the goddamn world, then you need to check for a pulse, seriously. :D
Now, when I come home from work, he sees me, smiles like a psycho, and runs over for a hug.
Its truly awesome, man. And I'm kinda jealous that you have that to look forward to - I've already done it and its just normal to me now!
Also, watch your language around him. You don't want Go to do a Zack and have his first word begin with "N"....
I spend too much time at 4chan. :facepalm:
Man, if you can experience that and not feel like you're the king of the goddamn world, then you need to check for a pulse, seriously. :D
Now, when I come home from work, he sees me, smiles like a psycho, and runs over for a hug.
Its truly awesome, man. And I'm kinda jealous that you have that to look forward to - I've already done it and its just normal to me now!
Also, watch your language around him. You don't want Go to do a Zack and have his first word begin with "N"....
I spend too much time at 4chan. :facepalm:
Oh those bilingual plans better work! Don't quote me on this but I believe he may take longer to talk if he is surrounded by both languages. Oh and boys take longer to talk sometimes as well, I believe. More pics please...is he gaining weight?
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