yes, you may

It's finally happened. Swine Flu, A/H1N1, whatever name you prefer...the infection has crossed the Pacific and entered the heart of Japan. In fact, the first domestic case was confirmed right in my metropolitan backyard: Kobe. Within days there were reports of more cases of the "new flu" (新型インフルエンザ as the Japanese call it) in both Hyogo and Osaka prefectures, particularly in high schools where students had recently traveled abroad. After weeks of watching the news and shrugging my shoulders at the panicky flu coverage, it seems it is finally Japan's turn to show the world what the word "overreaction" means.

You see, ever since the first mention of dead people in Mexico, Japan has really embraced this flu as a global crisis. All inbound international flights (especially those from North America) have been "inspected" for potentially infected passengers for weeks now. Anyone with a fever triggered national news stories and immediate isolation, only to discover that the traveler simply had ordinary flu as opposed to the new and scary flu. Of course, they weren't making any moves to quarantine the other people on board who had been sealed inside the plane with this sick person for the previous fourteen hours, so their health inspections were clearly just for show.

During that time, as the virus spread to other nations, the Japanese media kept this story at or near the top of the page/hour every damn day. I saw interviews with high schoolers from Queens who knew a kid who had the flu (allegedly). Even if they were telling the truth, who cares? The story was always the same: "My friend got sick for a few days. Then she got better." No revelations, no advice, no news of any kind, yet all the while Mako was sitting next to me on the couch, eating it up and telling me how worried she was.

Now that the new flu is actually here, the panic has begun. Entire school districts are closing for the week. The flimsy masks that people wear out of fear which offer little meaningful protection immediately sold out of all the stores. The airport health inspections, which were already completely inadequate and overly long, are now taking into consideration potential in-flight infections. So now if someone has a fever, they may quarantine everybody sitting in that poor bastard's section. This still won't realistically prevent the disease from spreading, of course, and since it's already here and circulating these measures feel extra clueless to me.

Speaking of "clueless," late last night I got a phone call from a teacher telling me that Hana Town, despite being relatively isolated in the mountains of Osaka, has also decided to close all their schools for the week. This was great news for me because it meant an impromptu vacation; better still, an impromptu vacation that started just as I was starting to dread getting ready for Monday morning. With sumo on TV and a ton of games to play, I thought I might not leave the apartment for days!

On a hunch, I sent a message to my supervisor at the board of education confirming that schools were closed. I knew the teacher wasn't lying or mistaken, but I wondered if I wasn't being too, you know, logical about the matter. As it turned out, I was. Yes, schools are closed all week to help prevent this scary new flu from spreading in Hana Town, but the teachers are still expected to go to work. Either they consider us expendable in that it doesn't matter if we spread the disease amongst ourselves as we sit in the office all week, or they fundamentally do not understand the point of closing schools to keep an infection at bay.

There is a silver lining to this spooky germ cloud. Mako is at her parents' house now, so there's little chance I'll bring anything home from my commute to nowhere. I probably won't get sick, of course, but I will totally get paid and I will have plenty of time to write which is something I haven't done much of this month. And if today is any indication, the teachers might use this week of free time to actually talk to me about English classes.

So to my readers in Japan: wash your hands a lot and don't make out with any strangers for a while. And to my readers abroad, well, chances are you're already infected. Try to contact a Japanese news agency and see if you can share your exciting fever stories!

Labels: frustration, Japan, new flu