Sunday, February 08, 2009
Label Maker
Mako went to the doctor on Friday expecting to receive a new picture of our baby and possibly find out whether we are expecting a boy or a girl. Unfortunately, she got neither. All is well otherwise, but we were hoping to finally choose a name for the baby already. Every day we continue to refer to it as an "it" or "DJ" makes me feel that much more insulated from the reality of this. I want to stop tiptoeing around the details and start getting psyched about my kid, and thinking about "DJ" just doesn't do it for me.
Another reason I'm eager to give our baby a name is the long elimination process Mako and I went through to narrow our options down to two finalists. Much to my surprise, we had exactly the opposite philosophy regarding DJ's names. As hard as I lobbied for a Japanese name, Mako wanted to a more Western name that might also pass for Japanese (but not necessarily). So for every Nobu or Nozomi I suggested, Mako wanted an Amy or, believe it or not, Daniel. She never explained why she was so disinterested in Japanese names although she did dismiss a number of my ideas as "too old-fashioned." Guess there aren't many babies named Masamune these days.
From my perspective, I feel it's important to give our child a Japanese name because he or she is already getting my Western last name. Even though we have yet to decide where DJ will go to school, I feel that it would be incredibly unfair to expect a Michael Feit to fit in around here. At least a Japanese name would would give him/her a chance. If DJ grows up in the States, then an all Western name would obscure his Japanese heritage. It's not that I think everyone needs to wear their national backgrounds on their sleeve, but a little acknowledgment to the past is nice. There also won't be any middle names to fill that option, because middle names are too cumbersome to deal with in Japan. I can't tell you how many forms I've had to re-write over here because I neglected to write my middle name down. They just don't understand its symbolic, superfluous nature and insist that leaving it unwritten means I am somehow not the same person my that identification says I am.
Then again, Japanese customs may render my naming ideas moot. The occasions where Japanese people actually use each other's first names are stunningly rare. Whether it's children on the playground or students in college or colleagues at work, family names are the primary method of identification. It if weren't for name tags and staff lists, I wouldn't even know any of my coworkers' first names and the ones I know I still don't get to use. Mako spent years working in a hotel but everyone always used her last name right up until her farewell party last year, without bothering to change when she got married and took my name. Hell, sometimes Mako refers to her sister's husband by his last name, which actually isn't his name anymore by way of a long story I don't completely understand.
So there's a chance that no matter what, my son or daughter will just be known as Feit...just like me. I guess I can live with that, but that still doesn't mean I'm naming my kid Junior. There's plenty of room for more Feits in the world, but one Daniel Feit will do in this family.
Another reason I'm eager to give our baby a name is the long elimination process Mako and I went through to narrow our options down to two finalists. Much to my surprise, we had exactly the opposite philosophy regarding DJ's names. As hard as I lobbied for a Japanese name, Mako wanted to a more Western name that might also pass for Japanese (but not necessarily). So for every Nobu or Nozomi I suggested, Mako wanted an Amy or, believe it or not, Daniel. She never explained why she was so disinterested in Japanese names although she did dismiss a number of my ideas as "too old-fashioned." Guess there aren't many babies named Masamune these days.
From my perspective, I feel it's important to give our child a Japanese name because he or she is already getting my Western last name. Even though we have yet to decide where DJ will go to school, I feel that it would be incredibly unfair to expect a Michael Feit to fit in around here. At least a Japanese name would would give him/her a chance. If DJ grows up in the States, then an all Western name would obscure his Japanese heritage. It's not that I think everyone needs to wear their national backgrounds on their sleeve, but a little acknowledgment to the past is nice. There also won't be any middle names to fill that option, because middle names are too cumbersome to deal with in Japan. I can't tell you how many forms I've had to re-write over here because I neglected to write my middle name down. They just don't understand its symbolic, superfluous nature and insist that leaving it unwritten means I am somehow not the same person my that identification says I am.
Then again, Japanese customs may render my naming ideas moot. The occasions where Japanese people actually use each other's first names are stunningly rare. Whether it's children on the playground or students in college or colleagues at work, family names are the primary method of identification. It if weren't for name tags and staff lists, I wouldn't even know any of my coworkers' first names and the ones I know I still don't get to use. Mako spent years working in a hotel but everyone always used her last name right up until her farewell party last year, without bothering to change when she got married and took my name. Hell, sometimes Mako refers to her sister's husband by his last name, which actually isn't his name anymore by way of a long story I don't completely understand.
So there's a chance that no matter what, my son or daughter will just be known as Feit...just like me. I guess I can live with that, but that still doesn't mean I'm naming my kid Junior. There's plenty of room for more Feits in the world, but one Daniel Feit will do in this family.
Labels: family, Japan, predicting the future, pregnancy
Feedback:
When leaving comments, please don't remain Anonymous. Click on "Other" and pick a name!
Be sociable! No sign-up is required!
Oooh, this is getting good. Can't wait to find out what sex and what name we end up with. DJ, HAH! Naming a kid initials, wow.
# posted by 
: 09 February, 2009 13:01
: 09 February, 2009 13:01
Let me tell you a little story. My Grandmother Mitsuye used the American name "Jane". A converted Catholic, she named my mom, who is half Japanese, Christina Marie. When my mom turned 18, she changed her middle name to Miyoshi. When I was born, she named me (with my Caucasian dad's help) Robin Yukiko Herman. Yes, it's problematic at times in Japan, but I wouldn't trade that name for the world. In Japan, a Japanese name will help him/her blend in (which is what he/she would want to do) and in America it would help him be unique (which is what he/she would want to do). My advice is to go with an unusual or makeshift Japanese name like Tsuyoshi or Kazunori or something. Or at least give the kid a middle name. Confusing, but very cool. That's my 2 yen worth at least. :)
コメントがあるちゃう？ Type something, please. It's less work for me.When leaving comments, please don't remain Anonymous. Click on "Other" and pick a name!
Be sociable! No sign-up is required!
