yes, you may

We had another one of those meetings yesterday that started well after school ended and ran for hours. It was productive and we talked a lot about the upcoming school year, both in Hana Town and the next town over, but by the time I got home I was exhausted. This has been one of the most draining weeks I've had and next week looks similarly stacked.

There is something that came up yesterday that I really wanted to write about, as it is an interesting addendum to the stuff I was talking about in my last post. One of my supervisors was at last night's meeting and we talked about general life stuff. She casually asked me, as so many other Japanese people do, if I planned to stay in Hana Town "for a long time" (the Japanese word she used was zutto). I'm never sure how to best answer this question but I was quick to point out that my time on JET is finite, so there would come I time when I would have to leave. She then told me that even though the JET Programme only allows for so many renewals, it would be possible to maintain my position with the town beyond the arbitrary cut-off point that JET adheres to. While I had heard talk of this from other JETs, this was the first time someone at my Board of Education ever brought it up, making it seem less like a "maybe you might be able to stay" statement and more like a "we want you here, please stay" request.

The notion that my JET tenure was finite had been looming over nearly all of my decisions for the past year or so. I knew I wanted this job and I was proud of having earned it after working so hard, so it felt silly to walk away from it before the formal end arrived. But now I'm hearing serious talk about there being no end, at least not a predetermined one, and that changes everything. My issues concerning how long I really want to be an English teacher are not magically erased by this news, but this is nevertheless a major change concerning my future job prospects. Suddenly there is no looming axe, no forced move, no mandatory job search or decision whether or not to return to America. I could, in theory, remain where I am for many years to come.

All of this begs the question: is this "good" news? My first instinct, rather rationally, is to say "You bet your ass it is." With thousands of people losing their jobs every week out there in the world, I have every right to be thankful that my own job appears secure for a longer stretch of time than I previously believed. On the other hand, I am a guy who doesn't handle change well, even when change is the most preferable option on the table. I spent six years working in the post office even though I knew it was the worst job imaginable after a matter of months. I stayed because the money was good and I didn't have anything better to do. My only way out was to walk away cold and go back to school. Here in Japan, I don't have those kinds of objections to teaching English but once again, the money is good and I don't have anything better to do. Do I have the courage to walk away again and try something else, to take a chance like I did in 2004, in order to improve my quality of life? Maybe a deadline was important to keeping me honest about what I want in life.

Either way, this is not the kind of news that demands immediate action. It is a big deal, yes, but I'm still going to work on Monday and I'm still hoping to get that contract extension I requested. But like little DJ, this news will only get bigger as time goes on. Am I prepared to deal with the consequences? I have no idea.

Labels: Japan, JET, job hunting, predicting the future