Friday, November 14, 2008
Looking Back (Way Back) After a Long Week
I felt particularly exhausted this morning when my alarm when off, and it had nothing to do with staying up late playing games or watching adult videos (nothing at all, no sir). I was confused for a while, but when I got to work it hit me: this week doesn't just feel longer because I'm going on vacation next week. It has actually been longer because I went to work on Sunday. Six straight days of waking up at 6 AM is no good for me. It reminds me of dark, depressing times: my days in the post office.
Typing out that last sentence made me realize I've never really written much about my time as a postal worker, even though I started this blog during the final four months of my employment. At the time, I was still trying to figure out what the hell to do with a blog, and it didn't seem right to spend my off-hours lamenting what I did for a living and how much I hated it. By the time I began actively writing about my day-to-day life, my plan to escape and return to college was well under way. Indeed, one of my earliest posts announced the start of a counter I placed on the main page ticking down each second towards the end of my tenure. Complaining about a job I had already quit (in my own mind at least) seemed pointless.
Instead, I viewed the blog with a lot of optimism, just as I did my future in general. If anything I was more optimistic about the blog because it carried less uncertainty. Leaving my job of six years, moving to a new city, going back to college - these were all risks I was taking in the hope that they would pay off. The website cost money to operate but other than that, there were no risks involved at all, only possible benefits. It was my new "toy" and I was very excited about my future on the Internet.
Nearly all of my dreams concerning feitclub.com have gone down in flames, of course. The name is an obvious pun but I hoped it would come to have a dual meaning and be an actual "club" or virtual gathering point for me, my friends and my family. I did not expect anything commercial to come out of it, nor did I imagine becoming a web "personality" of note, but I genuinely believed the site would have a major impact among the people I knew. Sadly, my family showed little interest in their custom feitclub.com e-mail addresses and my sister never really embraced the idea of writing for the site. My friends read it sometimes (at least two of them still do) but no "gathering" of any kind came about as a result.
The "club" in feitclub never manifested itself, but that doesn't mean the blog is a failure or that I regret any of the choices I made in writing about myself. I would never have met Hyde if I hadn't been blogging, nor would I have an extensive record of my experiences as an exchange student and falling in love with Mako. From a personal standpoint, I can't say if my writing has improved at all during this time but I know that my opinion of writing has changed and that is even more amazing to me. I think it's simply unfair to judge my site against the radiant image of its potential impact on my life which I imagined in early 2004, even if the life I imagined for myself has actually come true in many ways. Given the choice, I'd take this real-life success over virtual success every time.
Typing out that last sentence made me realize I've never really written much about my time as a postal worker, even though I started this blog during the final four months of my employment. At the time, I was still trying to figure out what the hell to do with a blog, and it didn't seem right to spend my off-hours lamenting what I did for a living and how much I hated it. By the time I began actively writing about my day-to-day life, my plan to escape and return to college was well under way. Indeed, one of my earliest posts announced the start of a counter I placed on the main page ticking down each second towards the end of my tenure. Complaining about a job I had already quit (in my own mind at least) seemed pointless.
Instead, I viewed the blog with a lot of optimism, just as I did my future in general. If anything I was more optimistic about the blog because it carried less uncertainty. Leaving my job of six years, moving to a new city, going back to college - these were all risks I was taking in the hope that they would pay off. The website cost money to operate but other than that, there were no risks involved at all, only possible benefits. It was my new "toy" and I was very excited about my future on the Internet.
Nearly all of my dreams concerning feitclub.com have gone down in flames, of course. The name is an obvious pun but I hoped it would come to have a dual meaning and be an actual "club" or virtual gathering point for me, my friends and my family. I did not expect anything commercial to come out of it, nor did I imagine becoming a web "personality" of note, but I genuinely believed the site would have a major impact among the people I knew. Sadly, my family showed little interest in their custom feitclub.com e-mail addresses and my sister never really embraced the idea of writing for the site. My friends read it sometimes (at least two of them still do) but no "gathering" of any kind came about as a result.
The "club" in feitclub never manifested itself, but that doesn't mean the blog is a failure or that I regret any of the choices I made in writing about myself. I would never have met Hyde if I hadn't been blogging, nor would I have an extensive record of my experiences as an exchange student and falling in love with Mako. From a personal standpoint, I can't say if my writing has improved at all during this time but I know that my opinion of writing has changed and that is even more amazing to me. I think it's simply unfair to judge my site against the radiant image of its potential impact on my life which I imagined in early 2004, even if the life I imagined for myself has actually come true in many ways. Given the choice, I'd take this real-life success over virtual success every time.
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I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog, dan. It gives me a wonderful view of a frankly amazing adventure (I don't really know that many people I can relate to who are living in japan), and just reading your average day gives me insight (and some vicarious enjoyment) into something I could NEVER experience where I live. This coupled with the fact that you are a VERY smart and witty person provide a medium that never ceases to bring me enjoyment. I look forward to reading more about this more than ordinary life you are living at this moment. Thank you.
# posted by 
: 15 November, 2008 12:50
: 15 November, 2008 12:50
Thank you, cod. I appreciate the kind words and I hope we can see each other during my upcoming vacation.
Wii owner, I do not respond to comments like that.
Wii owner, I do not respond to comments like that.
I love this blog. I mean, the documentation of meeting and marrying Mako was AMAZING! I find your writing intelligent and humorous, and I don't foresee missing a post. I'll see you soon!
# posted by : 17 November, 2008 11:28
: 17 November, 2008 11:28
I'd be too shamed to blog here...you writing is far superior to mine. Seriously, although I don't comment as much as I should, I still read this blog often and I usually enjoy it (I'm not one for the game/movie stuff, though). I love hearing about your life, the insightful comments and observations, and your writing style...
コメントがあるちゃう？ Type something, please. It's less work for me.When leaving comments, please don't remain Anonymous. Click on "Other" and pick a name!
Be sociable! No sign-up is required!
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