a history of me

Have you ever encountered total strangers on AIM? I did. Check it out. I fault myself for not catching on sooner. I blocked his ID and I got a little nervous after it was all over, but I suppose it was a harmless prank. It's not like I told him my PIN or anything.

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Nothing like a little Taco Bell to raise your spirits! Last night I was in a really bad mood so I went to the mall to blow off some steam and relax. I thought about seeing a movie (there are 30 screens at the mall) but I felt I had but two choices: a quality film that would probably be a downer or an empty movie that would energize me. In the end I chose neither. I ate at Taco Bell, bought a few supplies, and traded in my copy of GTA for KOF:MI. Later that night, Kazu dropped in and we gave it a whirl. He seemed to really get into it even though he's never played a KOF game before. I think I like it too, although I do find some aspects of the game very disturbing. Maybe I'll write my complete thoughts out later as a way of avoiding more schoolwork.

Actually, I kid about not doing schoolwork even though I did most of my homework this afternoon while watching the Indiana Jones trilogy on TV. Supposedly they're going to make a fourth film but it's been sixteen years since Last Crusade and my rule on sequels is they must come out within ten years of the preceding film. Don't believe me? Just look at Blues Brothers 2000. Or The Phantom Menace even.

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Today is the beginning of a little break: no classes until Wednesday. In one month it'll be Spring Break. I have plans for Spring Break but no plans for this mini-break. Frankly, it seems like everyone has already cleared out. I suppose I could go "home" but no one's free. All my friends are exceedingly busy these days. I know quite a few people are heading to NYC tomorrow but I simply can't rationalize the expense at this point. Also, I have a fair amount of schoolwork to finish. Nearly all of my teachers issued extra homework this weekend because of the mini-break. Furthermore, the lack of a roommate has allowed me to spread my stuff out around the room and I'm keenly aware that I have way too much laundry sitting around.

Still, I can hardly think of a worse activity than sitting around the dorm for four days, especially now. My mood is...hard to classify. I am not happy, angry, elated or despondent. I suppose lonely, frustrated, confused or exhausted would be more accurate. I just don't know what to do with myself right now and spending time by myself is the last thing I want.

I guess there's always food.

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Today I got one step closer to studying abroad but got no closer to understanding anything.

My priority assignment of the day was to locate the other teacher who had agreed to serve as my academic reference for my study abroad application. I had sent him/her (I am protecting his/her anonymity) an e-mail regarding the form he/she agreed to fill out weeks ago, but I got no reply. My only hope was to leave Acting class in order to show up during his/her office hours. I received a startling dose of humility when the professor recalled my name but did not know who I was. He/she had to interview me in order to fill out the form. I suppose I could have embellished a little but I told him/her what kind of student I was and what grades I received in the class. I then returned to acting class for the conclusion (it's a long class) and came back to his/her office afterwards to pick up the finished document in a super-secret sealed envelope. I delivered the envelope to the study abroad office, effectively completing my end of the application process. The transcripts will arrive whenever they arrive; I can neither accelerate nor hinder that process at this point.

After my classes for the day were over, I didn't rush back to the bus. I went to visit Victor, a fellow member of the anime club I attend. I asked him to try and show me some of the basics of Soul Calibur II. For those of you who don't know, that's one of the more popular 3D fighting games around. I am a veteran of the 2D fighting game and I thought I might try to get a handle on this game as it's played nearly every meeting of the club. Boy was I in for a surprise. The "skills" (and I use that term loosely) I learned in the 2D games did not translate at all to 3D games. I barely lasted ten seconds in these contests. The controls were completely alien to me. The only analogy I could come up with was teaching a dog to speak English, but I suppose that's inaccurate because a lot of people play these games but there are very few dogs who speak English. Maybe it just takes time. After all, Victor had shown me the clock on his game of Soul Caliber and it showed that he had been playing for 100 hours and counting (not in a row, total).

We interrupted my humiliation session for dinner. Victor and I went over to the cafeteria where we discovered a ravenous mob. I've never seen the cafeteria so crowded. It turns out it was Steak Night. This is apparently a big deal to the student populace. I'm not a big steak guy, and this was hardly a quality piece of meat. I don't understand why everyone seemed excited by this offer. No one likes the food here but we all rush to eat it. Shouldn't we be doing something about it? What if they had Steak Night and nobody came? Or am I being too finicky in demanding quality over quantity in an institutional setting? Adding insult to injury, they offered us the same flimsy utensils we always use. I didn't so much "cut" the "steak" as I did pull, tug and tear it apart. Victor laughed and remarked that I bent my fork. My reply: "There is no fork."

After dinner we went back to Victor's room for more gaming. We were planning to go to the club meeting at 8 but that fell through because the space was already booked by another group. So we ended up hanging out for a while and eventually Mikhail, the president of the club, came up and joined us. He wanted to see what, if anything, I had learned about this game. Obviously I didn't learn much and he effortlessly defeated me. After about sixteen losses I encouraged Victor to play against Mikhail. He and Mikhail faced off and Mikhail dominated.

So what does this mean to me? I've put in about one hour and I know nothing. Victor has put in about 100 hours but was no match for Mikhail. Does this mean I should hunker down and train non-stop in order to get a grasp of this game? Would I gain any ground on these people? Is that even worth doing? I mean, this is a game we're talking about, not a language or job skill. How much work should I put into learning a new game? I know quitting is not the best solution when trying new things, but do I really have to try every new thing? We all know the expression, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." Perhaps a better application in this case is, "The old dog is too old to spend 100 hours learning tricks."

I don't know what the lesson of today's story is. Maybe it's about humility. Maybe it's about fitting in. Maybe it's about crappy steak. Maybe it's about deciding when to give up. All I know is I don't know shit. What's more, I'll never learn shit. All I can hope for is to get to Japan where my shit will suddenly become interesting.

I'm not sure if I'm happy or sad right now.

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Having survived 48 hours, I returned to "First Stop" medical where they told me I did not have TB. Duh.

This meant I could tell the health center I don't have TB. Which meant the "hold" on my records was released, which meant that I could finally request my academic transcript be sent to the study abroad office. I also sent transcript requests to my previous universities, one via Express Mail and one via fax (needed some help with that one, as I don't have a fax machine but I needed to sign my request). Along the way I picked up my foreign language evaluation from my Japanese professor, an illogical formality since the whole point of me going to Japan is so that I can study Japanese (and the other classes will be in English). All this means that the only thing "missing" from my application is one of my two required academic references. I'm a little miffed since I actually requested that way in advance and this guy apparently never turned it in. So now I have to track him down and find out what the fuck happened but I have to be really nice about it since this is a huge favor he's doing for me.

Dear sweet lord I hope this all goes through. Besides the fact that I really really really want to go to Japan, I don't think I could stand reapplying and taking another trip on this merry-go-round next semester.

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I submitted my study abroad application today. Well, most of it, anyway. The application is kind of like a secret weapon in a video game. It's made up of many different parts which must be collected from many different places. For example, I needed two academic references, one foreign language evaluation, transcripts from every college I have attended (including the one I attend now), and my advisor's signature.

Here's what pisses me off the most about all this. As a transfer student, I've already had my previous colleges send transcripts to UAlbany. That means they already know everything there is to know about my academic record. Why does another department at the school need me to get all this information to them? Why can't these departments share information? And why might it take five business days for that information to get from the Registrar's Office to the Study Abroad office? I suppose the lesson here is to stop procrastinating, but if that was a lesson I could simply "learn" I would have learned it by now.

Oh, and 36 hours later and I still show no signs of TB. I hate saying "I told you so."

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Despite the fact that I have been actively enrolled in the SUNY system for over two years now, I have been under mild pressure from the Health Center to prove that I do not have tuberculosis. Since this is not a vaccination matter (I merely have to prove I don't have it), I had hoped my word and my immaculate attendance record would count for something. It didn't. So today I began the 48-hour process of proving I am TB-free.

The proof is demonstrated through a skin test. Basically, they stab you in the arm and wait to see if you react in a certain way. Of course, the Health Center does not administer this test. Instead, I had to go uptown to a private medical facility with a chillingly-euphemistic name, "First Stop." I arrived a full hour and a half before my first class today, assuming that the in-and-out procedure would be, well, in-and-out. Of course it was not. The first thing the receptionist asked me for was a form from the University. Mind you, in four separate telephone conversations with First Stop and the Health Center, no one ever urged me to pick up any forms before getting the test. So I spent half an hour waiting for them to locate the University form in their office, spent ten minutes filling out their forms (which I could have been filling out while I was waiting) then waited another fifteen minutes before the test was finally administered. All the while I was being tortured by The View via the waiting room TV.

I have to go back in two days for the test to properly register. I only pray that they won't ask me to prove I don't have AIDS.

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Last night it was time for another birthday celebration, this time for a guy everyone calls "Ken-chan" because he resembles a famous Japanese comedian, apparently. So we ended up going out for another night of bowling at the Playdium. For some reason everything was a lot more expensive this time. We paid $15 instead of $10 to get in, and the pitchers were $7.50 a pop. I guess the last time we went there was a special or something. The place was noticeably less populated this time and we didn't have to wait for a lane to open. Eight of us bowled three games. My performance was much improved from last time with a strike and even a few spares. However, I still threw far too many gutterballs. I think one of the frustrating things about bowling is that it seems in principle to be really easy, so when the ball doesn't hit any of the pins it feels really frustrating. Kazu turned out to be the best bowler of all, scoring well over 100 in each of the first two games (he goofed around in the last game, trying odd throws but still outscored me dramatically).

In case anyone's wondering, yes I drank a lot but no I didn't get sick. Not even close, although I used my patented hangover-recovery technique just to be on the safe side. There's a chance I might go bowling again next weekend, but that's another story altogether and I don't want to jinx it. ^_^

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