Monday, October 24, 2005
Fickle Finger of Romance
Yesterday was a very rewarding experience as I spent another day with Mako. Everything was wonderful and we grew even closer than we were before. Then I said something that almost ruined everything.
I was up early to make sure I didn't turn up late for our date, a problem I've had more than once which I'm not proud of. As I was eating breakfast I was surprised to see Game One of the World Series live on TV. I would have loved to stay and watch it but I had far more important plans.
It was raining in Hirakata which forced me to bring an umbrella even though I knew it wasn't raining in Osaka. At the bus stop I saw a magnificent rainbow which I tried to photograph but I don't think it showed up very well. The bus ride was memorable for two reasons: we passed a crowd carrying a mikoshi in the rain and one of the riders started arguing with the bus driver when we got close to the station. I couldn't understand most of it but I think he wanted to get off the bus before the regular stop (we were stopped at a traffic light) but the bus driver wouldn't open the door. So he started screaming at the driver who responded in turn, threatening to call the police. Once we got underway, the matter fizzled out and I think the agitator even paid his fare. I expected him to run off the bus without paying as some kind of protest.
I met Mako in Tennoji, an area of Osaka I was unfamiliar with. It was my suggestion to meet there as I wanted to see the Tennoji Zoo inside of Tennoji Park. Think of Central Park, only smaller, and you can imagine Tennoji Park. Mako had never been there so she thought it was a great idea. The weather was right up my alley, too: clear skies but not that warm and a strong breeze. I wore my Skimmer/Duster combo and looked positively dashing if I may say so myself.
The zoo was on the small side but worth the trip. I was delighted at how close I was able to get to certain creatures, such as a tiger and some assorted penguins. They didn't have a panda and their polar bear died last year (two of my favorites) but their sea lion exhibit was very exciting. It was a large pool with four sea lions inside and about a dozen birds hovering about. Customers could pay 100 Yen to buy some diced fish and throw it into the pool. Sometimes the sea lions got it, sometimes the birds got it. Sometimes they'd fight over it. Very cool, fun for all ages. Mako and I even snuck in a few kisses by the owl exhibit when we realized no one was around.
We ate our lunch picnic-style in the zoo; Mako had bought sandwiches for us which I thought was so sweet of her. She often pays for things or we simply split the bill which I really appreciate. I've tried the "no no let me pay" bit once or twice but Mako always ends up paying for something else later so I gave up. Over lunch we talked about this blog as I wanted to make sure she was OK with me talking about her and showing her picture. She happily agreed to both! I'm still going to do my best to respectfully conceal facts that aren't suitable for public discourse but at least now I can show all of you what she looks like.
It was after the zoo that things started to get very exciting, both emotionally and physically. We took a brief stroll up a hill and then sat in a semi-secluded spot for about an hour. There was some romancing, naturally, but the conversation was the real gem: Mako made it clear to me that she has very strong feelings for me. She told me 「一緒にいたい」(isshoni itai) meaning "[I] want [us] to be together." When she told me this I realized that she and I were both privately dealing with the same problem; neither one of us was sure if the other was ready for a steady relationship yet we both yearned for one. We fumbled our words a bit but we formally declared ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend. Funny language note: the Japanese words for "boyfriend" (彼, kare) and "girlfriend" (彼女, kanojo) are exactly the same words as "he" and "she." I suspect it's because pronouns are so seldom used in this language that to designate someone as "he" or "she" is a big deal!
We spent another hour or two walking around the park, enjoying some lovely gardens and being alone together whenever we could. I noticed that after our "agreement" she seemed much more responsive to our physical interaction. Previously, I had felt like I was being a little overbearing in the hand holding/waist grabbing/etc. but now I see that she was just waiting for me to sit down and talk about the whole relationship thing with her. From that point forward she was much more eager to be affectionate, even in public.
We had previously decided on Indian food for dinner so we went to a restaurant Mako had picked out in Umeda. It was really quite good and very nostalgic for me as I ate a lot of Indian food this summer in New York. Mako had never had a Mango Lassi before and she really liked it. The ratio of price to serving size was a bit high (bread or rice with an entree cost extra) but thanks to Mako's internet research she brought a coupon for 20% off! Once again I was impressed by her resourcefulness and heads-up planning.
It was still a bit early so we stopped in a cafe to talk before returning to our respective homes. During this time I noticed Mako's demeanor change dramatically: she looked very sad and we found ourselves with far too many silences. I asked her if something was wrong; she said no but I could tell she was just showing tatemae. When we walked to the train station and I held her hand she was no longer squeezing mine in reciprocal affection; her hand was instead completely limp. She was suddenly reluctant to hold me at all when we said goodbye. I went home wondering if I had done something wrong or if she was just somehow tired.
When I e-mailed her from the train ride home (I always send her a message after our dates, typically along the lines of "good night" or "I can't wait to see you again") her response was both upsetting and enlightening. She was sad because I had mentioned (purely in passing) my return to the States next May. While this was definitely something I had mentioned before ("When are you leaving?" usually comes up in most conversations within five minutes) it somehow surprised her and left her feeling very sad and regretful. I had to wait until I got home to fully translate her message (there was no room for misunderstanding here) and in my response I tried to tell her that we still had a lot of time to spend together and I hoped we could enjoy it. It was late when I mailed her so I knew I wouldn't get a response before this morning, if at all. Indeed, I struggled to go to sleep as I feared she would simply mokusatsu me.
With our future uncertain (and entirely out of my hands), I did my best to operate normally this morning. If I found myself worrying too much about it I simply thought about baseball. I wasn't about to turn this into a depressing heartbreak situation as I simply had too much going on right now. I couldn't afford any emotional troubles interfering with my schoolwork or my personal re-building process. I also refused to beat myself up over what I had said; better that she acknowledge my departure now rather than later. If she couldn't handle that then we shouldn't be starting anything.
My phone rang during my early morning class, right in the middle of my kanji quiz in fact. Mako had sent me a mail, telling me she had thought it over "too much" and decided that she still wanted to be with me (again saying isshoni itai). I was elated, relieved and overjoyed all at once. After a near wipeout mere hours after we officially became a couple, we were a couple again.
So that's where we stand right now: we're a couple and I think she loves me. Obviously, caution must still be taken but for now I feel very, very happy. We're going to have dinner on Wednesday (I'm going to find an Italian place) and presumably we'll make a habit of getting together on weekends when possible. Personally, I'm relieved I didn't have time to blog about this last night because it would have forced me to either jump to a conclusion or wallow too much in my uncertainty. Instead, patience prevailed and I'm feeling great again.
I promise to say more about the party on Friday and provide all of you with pictures from the festival and of Mako. Bear with me in the meantime and I hope you're all well. I'm awesome, thanks for asking.
I was up early to make sure I didn't turn up late for our date, a problem I've had more than once which I'm not proud of. As I was eating breakfast I was surprised to see Game One of the World Series live on TV. I would have loved to stay and watch it but I had far more important plans.
It was raining in Hirakata which forced me to bring an umbrella even though I knew it wasn't raining in Osaka. At the bus stop I saw a magnificent rainbow which I tried to photograph but I don't think it showed up very well. The bus ride was memorable for two reasons: we passed a crowd carrying a mikoshi in the rain and one of the riders started arguing with the bus driver when we got close to the station. I couldn't understand most of it but I think he wanted to get off the bus before the regular stop (we were stopped at a traffic light) but the bus driver wouldn't open the door. So he started screaming at the driver who responded in turn, threatening to call the police. Once we got underway, the matter fizzled out and I think the agitator even paid his fare. I expected him to run off the bus without paying as some kind of protest.
I met Mako in Tennoji, an area of Osaka I was unfamiliar with. It was my suggestion to meet there as I wanted to see the Tennoji Zoo inside of Tennoji Park. Think of Central Park, only smaller, and you can imagine Tennoji Park. Mako had never been there so she thought it was a great idea. The weather was right up my alley, too: clear skies but not that warm and a strong breeze. I wore my Skimmer/Duster combo and looked positively dashing if I may say so myself.
The zoo was on the small side but worth the trip. I was delighted at how close I was able to get to certain creatures, such as a tiger and some assorted penguins. They didn't have a panda and their polar bear died last year (two of my favorites) but their sea lion exhibit was very exciting. It was a large pool with four sea lions inside and about a dozen birds hovering about. Customers could pay 100 Yen to buy some diced fish and throw it into the pool. Sometimes the sea lions got it, sometimes the birds got it. Sometimes they'd fight over it. Very cool, fun for all ages. Mako and I even snuck in a few kisses by the owl exhibit when we realized no one was around.
We ate our lunch picnic-style in the zoo; Mako had bought sandwiches for us which I thought was so sweet of her. She often pays for things or we simply split the bill which I really appreciate. I've tried the "no no let me pay" bit once or twice but Mako always ends up paying for something else later so I gave up. Over lunch we talked about this blog as I wanted to make sure she was OK with me talking about her and showing her picture. She happily agreed to both! I'm still going to do my best to respectfully conceal facts that aren't suitable for public discourse but at least now I can show all of you what she looks like.
It was after the zoo that things started to get very exciting, both emotionally and physically. We took a brief stroll up a hill and then sat in a semi-secluded spot for about an hour. There was some romancing, naturally, but the conversation was the real gem: Mako made it clear to me that she has very strong feelings for me. She told me 「一緒にいたい」(isshoni itai) meaning "[I] want [us] to be together." When she told me this I realized that she and I were both privately dealing with the same problem; neither one of us was sure if the other was ready for a steady relationship yet we both yearned for one. We fumbled our words a bit but we formally declared ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend. Funny language note: the Japanese words for "boyfriend" (彼, kare) and "girlfriend" (彼女, kanojo) are exactly the same words as "he" and "she." I suspect it's because pronouns are so seldom used in this language that to designate someone as "he" or "she" is a big deal!
We spent another hour or two walking around the park, enjoying some lovely gardens and being alone together whenever we could. I noticed that after our "agreement" she seemed much more responsive to our physical interaction. Previously, I had felt like I was being a little overbearing in the hand holding/waist grabbing/etc. but now I see that she was just waiting for me to sit down and talk about the whole relationship thing with her. From that point forward she was much more eager to be affectionate, even in public.
We had previously decided on Indian food for dinner so we went to a restaurant Mako had picked out in Umeda. It was really quite good and very nostalgic for me as I ate a lot of Indian food this summer in New York. Mako had never had a Mango Lassi before and she really liked it. The ratio of price to serving size was a bit high (bread or rice with an entree cost extra) but thanks to Mako's internet research she brought a coupon for 20% off! Once again I was impressed by her resourcefulness and heads-up planning.
It was still a bit early so we stopped in a cafe to talk before returning to our respective homes. During this time I noticed Mako's demeanor change dramatically: she looked very sad and we found ourselves with far too many silences. I asked her if something was wrong; she said no but I could tell she was just showing tatemae. When we walked to the train station and I held her hand she was no longer squeezing mine in reciprocal affection; her hand was instead completely limp. She was suddenly reluctant to hold me at all when we said goodbye. I went home wondering if I had done something wrong or if she was just somehow tired.
When I e-mailed her from the train ride home (I always send her a message after our dates, typically along the lines of "good night" or "I can't wait to see you again") her response was both upsetting and enlightening. She was sad because I had mentioned (purely in passing) my return to the States next May. While this was definitely something I had mentioned before ("When are you leaving?" usually comes up in most conversations within five minutes) it somehow surprised her and left her feeling very sad and regretful. I had to wait until I got home to fully translate her message (there was no room for misunderstanding here) and in my response I tried to tell her that we still had a lot of time to spend together and I hoped we could enjoy it. It was late when I mailed her so I knew I wouldn't get a response before this morning, if at all. Indeed, I struggled to go to sleep as I feared she would simply mokusatsu me.
With our future uncertain (and entirely out of my hands), I did my best to operate normally this morning. If I found myself worrying too much about it I simply thought about baseball. I wasn't about to turn this into a depressing heartbreak situation as I simply had too much going on right now. I couldn't afford any emotional troubles interfering with my schoolwork or my personal re-building process. I also refused to beat myself up over what I had said; better that she acknowledge my departure now rather than later. If she couldn't handle that then we shouldn't be starting anything.
My phone rang during my early morning class, right in the middle of my kanji quiz in fact. Mako had sent me a mail, telling me she had thought it over "too much" and decided that she still wanted to be with me (again saying isshoni itai). I was elated, relieved and overjoyed all at once. After a near wipeout mere hours after we officially became a couple, we were a couple again.
So that's where we stand right now: we're a couple and I think she loves me. Obviously, caution must still be taken but for now I feel very, very happy. We're going to have dinner on Wednesday (I'm going to find an Italian place) and presumably we'll make a habit of getting together on weekends when possible. Personally, I'm relieved I didn't have time to blog about this last night because it would have forced me to either jump to a conclusion or wallow too much in my uncertainty. Instead, patience prevailed and I'm feeling great again.
I promise to say more about the party on Friday and provide all of you with pictures from the festival and of Mako. Bear with me in the meantime and I hope you're all well. I'm awesome, thanks for asking.
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Oh my god. Drop the cock in the slop. I'm really touched by your state of affairs. Good luck. Mako sounds like a really sweet girl. I'm SO happy you guys seem to be connecting.
# posted by 
: 24 October, 2005 16:49
: 24 October, 2005 16:49
Good for you Dan. Have fun and enjoy. Mako sounds really nice.
They didn't have pandas in the zoo? Too bad, they are my favorites next to penguins.
They didn't have pandas in the zoo? Too bad, they are my favorites next to penguins.
Yes, good news indeed. I must say, I think dating a Japanese girl while studying in Japan should really facilitate learning the language and getting to know the culture (and of course, bonus for your personal life). I always wished I had had that experience but never did. Now, with all these photos of shrines and a crowd carrying a mikoshi, explain to me the role of religion on Japan.
PS I spoke to Mom and she is fine (Hurricane Wilma hit land right over Naples -- she really got the brunt of it this time). She doesn't have power and she said the noise of the storm is kind of scary but all is well. I was supposed to go down there this weekend, good thing I changed my ticket!
コメントがあります？ Type something, please. It's less work for me.PS I spoke to Mom and she is fine (Hurricane Wilma hit land right over Naples -- she really got the brunt of it this time). She doesn't have power and she said the noise of the storm is kind of scary but all is well. I was supposed to go down there this weekend, good thing I changed my ticket!
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