a history of me

It's been a rocky week so far but I'm doing my best to adjust to the challenges I'm facing, both expected and unexpected. I knew there would be language issues and culture shock but who could have anticipated computer and roommate problems? I could have spent yesterday in my room crying in the fetal position but instead I made a plan to meet with Scott in Osaka.

The first step in this endeavor was to figure out exactly how the hell to get from here to there. The maps provided by the university weren't much help as they only gave me an idea of the service on the local Keihan line. In order to figure out how to navigate the city of Osaka I turned to my old friend, Wikipedia. I was able to use their scores of data to plan out my entire route. Hooray me!



I took a bus (which I finally think I've mastered) to the Hirakata City station where I bought a ticket for Osaka, specifically Yodoyabashi. As you can see, many of the signs in the railway system feature English to assist foreign travelers. Obviously it helps to read the Japanese as well but in theory a total novice could navigate their way across the country unassisted. Once at Yodoyabashi, I transferred to the Midosuji subway line in order to travel inside the city.


In an effort to combat chikan, some trains feature "Ladies Only" cars. The restriction only applies to rush hour.

In total, it took me about forty minutes to reach Shin-Osaka station, a major hub of the bullet train system in Japan. The station is quite large, almost like an airport, with lots of shops, restaurants and even a capsule hotel for weary travelers. As luck would have it, this was also the closest train station to Scott's apartment. Since I was early, I took my time strolling around the station and the immediate vicinity. Let's look at a few pictures of what I saw:




This small monument honors Toyotomi Hideyoshi, a legendary figure from Japanese history who is fondly remembered in these parts.


A bunraku puppet featured in the same display. Osaka is considered the birthplace of the art form.


Who knew I was such a star that I had my own bookstore?


I just thought this was a hilarious name for an eatery.

After some minimal confusion over where to meet, Scott and I found each other and walked back to his apartment building which was extremely close to the station. Very convenient! The plan was for Scott's girlfriend Emi to join us later in the evening and prepare some okonomiyaki for dinner. In the meantime, Scott and I would hang out, stroll around town and buy the necessary ingredients. Sounded like a fine plan to me! Okonomiyaki is quite popular in this area and I have no problem with that.


Scott demonstrates the fingerprint ID system at his building. Pretty cool!


A view of the Yodokawa ward from Scott's apartment. You can see the Shin Osaka station past those trees.


Similar to a cabin on a cruise ship, the bathroom is less of a room than it is a sealed unit inside the apartment. I suppose that helps cut down on leaks.

Scott and I took a little walk around his neighborhood. It seemed pretty quiet but it was a Saturday afternoon. I suppose it's like Manhattan in that some parts of the city are just empty on weekends because no one's at work. We went to a nearby Vodafone sales office to investigate what I had to do to get a mobile phone. The first thing, it seems, is to get my "alien registration card" which makes sense. Obviously they don't want to hand me a phone and then discover that I'm just a tourist and I'm leaving the country never to be seen or heard from again. Scott spent a few more minutes in the store inquiring about what it would take for him to "upgrade" to a newer phone. Again, I was impressed by his Japanese skills although he told me he found it frustrating to try and discuss matters like this. I'd say that's par for the course when it comes to shopping for mobile phones, regardless of the language!



It didn't take us long to pass an arcade so we popped in for a look around. We were actually on the way out when I spotted an old favorite: 太鼓の達人 (known in the U.S. as Taiko: Drum Master). I first encountered this game on my last trip to Japan and I found it instantly charming. The premise is simple, just follow the on-screen prompts and beat the drum. I played on the "Easy" level and got to play three tunes. The first was a random Japanese tune that I picked by accident. The second was a Japanese-language version of the Mickey Mouse song. For the record, the Japanese just say the name "Mickey Mouse" in rhythm with the music instead of spelling out M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. Lastly, (and what better way to follow Mickey Mouse) I picked Britney Spears' "Toxic." If you think it's strange to play American pop music on a computer simulation of a traditional Japanese instrument then you've obviously never been to Japan before.

After achieving an incredible high score and entering my name, Scott and I hit a market to buy the necessary vegetables for dinner. Even more necessary was my need for a beer or two. Individual cans are commonly sold in Japanese stores (not just convenience stores like here in the U.S.) and they're a little pricey. I was eager to try Yebisu beer, a very popular brand here that I've never seen back home. One can cost 220 Yen but I had to taste it, if only once. In case it sucked I also picked up a tall can of Kirin Ichiban.

With groceries and alcohol in hand, Scott and I returned to his apartment. I was very tired and sweaty so I practically collapsed into his only chair. This weather really does a number on my body as heat, sweat and friction add up to some pretty painful chafing if you know what I mean.

Emi dropped in around 6 and was very pleasant. She speaks English quite well but I was more impressed with her Japanese. Unlike most Japanese people I encounter outside of a classroom, Emi spoke clearly and deliberately, making it easy for even a dolt like me to understand her. I greatly appreciated this as it was reassuring that I do have some knowledge of what I'm doing over here. She was also very sweet by "monogramming" my dinner. It's a little sloppy but you can see that she wrote ダン (Dan).


Mayonnaise-calligraphy is an under-appreciated art in this world.

While we ate we watched an old Japanese film Scott has been talking about for years: Daimajin. The plot is very simple: giant stone god rampages to protect its followers. It's better than it sounds although I couldn't help but get confused at certain points. First, the people pray to keep Daimajin appeased so he does not destroy them. Then they rely on him to protect them from evil, but then he's kind of evil himself? And why doesn't he lift a finger to help anybody until his own statue is threatened? Not a very attentive deity in my opinion.

After that film was over Scott suggested we watch one of the others (it's a trilogy) but instead we opted for a little Japanese TV. We happened to stumble across Explorers which was being broadcast in English (apparently Japanese was available on SAP). If you don't remember the film, it's about three young boys who end up exploring their sexuality...I mean, outer space. Two of three young actors would become quite famous. Scott and I had an issue with the third boy. Scott maintained that it was Steven Dorff which means that all three kids grew up to be famous. I insisted that he was a nobody and that only the other two made it. Eventually our contention led to a wager of one beer. We watched until the end credits and the third boy was...nobody! A winner is me! Lesson learned, Scott; never wager with me when it comes to film.

Scott had offered to let me spend the night at his place but it turned out there was a problem: my snoring! This had come up during my last visit to his apartment four years ago. Back then, I simply moved to another room. This time, there was no such option so I didn't get much sleep. Whenever I started snoring Scott had to nudge me. I can't blame him, of course, since it's his apartment. Also, I was sleeping on the floor without much padding. I wonder if my snoring is somehow worse over here? I've had countless roommates over the years and none of them have ever made an issue of my snoring until now.

The next morning we took our time returning to the station. Scott had wanted to check out a local youth hostel in a new building across the street. It looked like a hotel, a far cry from my seedy image of six beds crammed into a room! We also happened to meet up with a young Japanese man staying in the hostel who put on a little musical show for us.


Be honest: This is probably the last image you expected to see from Japan!

After a pleasant interlude and a "Morning Curry Set" at the station, Scott and I parted ways and I returned to Hirakata. Today was check-in day at the dorm which means I finally have a key to the door. It seems my roommate problem will be resolved as such: I'm getting a new roommate! I don't know who he is but his name sounds American. I asked the staff if he knew about my snoring and they said "he will be informed."

Guess I'll take it easy today in my (temporarily) private room.