a history of me

I didn't do anything of note yesterday, not until after midnight. That's when Hyde contacted me and invited me out to her favorite bar for a few drinks. Given the choice between spending time with a friend and watching ATHF, I'll always choose friends.

I met her down at her bar. She had been drinking for a while as I paced myself. I stuck to red wine at first but when she started to drink shots of Stoli Vanil I had a few too. I didn't realize it, but I got pretty tipsy. It wasn't until I got up and went to the bathroom when I realized I had drunk enough for the evening.

Speaking of that, while I was in the bathroom a weird thing happened. This guy came in after me, some oddball from California or something. While I was peeing, he turned out the lights! What's up with that?

Anyway, her favorite bar closed up sometime after one A.M. Since Hyde didn't want to stop, I escorted her to her second favorite bar. I even ordered a double round of drinks, knowing full well she would drink them and I wouldn't. I just drank water because I was definitely done for the evening.

At some point, Hyde became despondent. I think it was after she tried to call this guy she's been involved with and he didn't call her back. Whatever her reasons, she didn't want to talk about, she just started saying "I want to go home." I got the check and escorted her out, making sure to grab her purse and cellphone on the way out.

The walk to her home was short but she wasn't alright. She had too much and she was staggering. I held onto her as closely as possible to get her home, even though she fought me at times, insisting she didn't need any help. When we got to her building, she tried to push me away but I insisted on taking her up to her apartment.

Once inside, she threw her stuff onto the floor (literally) and crashed onto her couch. I tried to get her stuff: water, a blanket, anything, but she refused. She maintained that she was fine and she told me to go, pushing me at times towards the door. When I hugged her goodbye, she started kissing my neck but then reverted and told me to leave. She almost seemed angry.

What more could I do? I stepped outside and she closed the door. I tried calling her, she didn't answer. I sent her two messages to see if she was OK, she replied with an angry "Yes!!!" message. Still, I waited by her door until I heard her stop moving. I just couldn't leave until I had some assurance that she was down for the evening.

I walked home, unsure of my conduct. Had I done something wrong? Should I have gotten her drinks at the second bar? Was I wrong to insist that I escort her home? Was I wrong to leave her alone in the state she was in? So help me, I don't know. When she started kissing my neck, it felt so wonderful. I couldn't take advantage of her intoxication though; that would be fucked up. But her "affection" turned "angry" so quickly...dammit, I just hope she's alright. That's why I'm posting now instead of sleeping it off; I want to record me mood at this moment.

Please, Hyde, tell me what to think.