a history of me

God damn it...I can't take this much longer. Today I got an e-mail from the study abroad department (sent out to everybody) informing us that were very few scholarships available. No surprise there, as their academic criteria were way over my head anyway. But then I read this:

I sent out an email earlier today to everyone who was
listed on the KG site as having been accepted by them. If
you didn't get that email from me but you are reading this,
then something may be missing from your file. Please look
at the checklist and make sure that everything that is
supposed to be there has been sent.

Since I didn't get that e-mail, the e-mail I've been waiting for desperately, I went into full panic mode. Fortunately I was checking my e-mail on campus so I could run directly to the Study Abroad office. I got there and asked what might be missing from my file as I was confident I had given them everything. They told me they had received everything and they sent it out with everyone else's paperwork. For whatever reason, my name is on Kansai Gaidai's list of applicants but there is no checkmark next to "complete application" or "incomplete application." The people at Study Abroad didn't know what to think so I've just got to wait and see what this means.

FUCKING CHRIST! Why am I always the anomaly? Why doesn't my situation ever just play out like everyone else's? How much longer do I have to wonder where I'm going to school in four months? The entire student body is registering for fall classes and signing up for housing right now. If I'm not going to Japan, I need to know. Now.

I'm a fucking mess right now. I have no choice but to eat more food.