a history of me

A funny thought struck me on bus ride back home tonight. I was on campus kinda late for an AGA meeting so the 9:50 bus I got on was full of students heading out to partake in St. Patrick's Day drink specials. However, it seems that many of them had already imbibed a few spirits before they got on the bus. One girl in particular was so drunk she actually looked miserable, which she was because after a mile she casually threw up on herself and one of her friends. They wisely decided to leave the bus immediately (hopefully to catch a bus going back to campus so she could sleep), but in disembarking the poor girl fell flat on her face and was still on the ground when the bus pulled away. Her other drunken friends were so busy chatting that they didn't notice she had thrown up or gotten off. They immediately got off the bus but we had already traveled at least half a mile. I sure hope at least three of those four ladies make it home tonight.

But I digress. What was my funny thought? I was sitting on the bus wearing a long coat and my "geeky" wool hat. These girls were dressed to impress drunk guys with their breasts, midriffs and toes on display. I know they were looking at me and thinking I was some kind of nerd or prude. Little did they know that I've seen and experienced things they can't possibly imagine. Sure they get drunk every week, maybe stoned too, but I've ingested and absorbed substances they've never even heard of. I've seen the Infinity, man. Hell, I've been the Infinity. So think twice the next time you think you spot a dork wearing a cap with ALASKA written on the side. He might show you a thing or two about the beyond.