a history of me

With only one class today, I had plenty of time to catch up on work. Except, of course, for the excursion I made to the main campus this afternoon to visit the "Study Abroad Fair," featuring booths from various SUNY schools. Naturally, I was only interested in one destination: Japan. Only three SUNY schools offer a trip to Japan. One of them is, of course, Albany, while the other two are Buffalo and Oswego. I'm inclined to lean towards my own campus to ensure maximum applicable credits, but I must keep my options open.

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After several false forecasts, my roommate finally arrived tonight. It was pretty late too. Good thing I wasn't in a, *ahem* compromising position. That would have been real awkward. He's from Nepal. I impressed him immediately by knowing exactly where Nepal is in the world. Most of these kids don't have the first clue when he tells them where he's from. Of course, I'm getting that a lot lately. Just this afternoon, a whiny student walked out of her classroom and asked (rhetorically) "Who's gonna know where Saotome is?" I told her "Africa." She laughed and kept walking.

I'm always surprised by how much people don't know around here. Last night in East Asian Cinema class, the teacher asked if we knew what a eunuch was. I rolled my eyes, thinking that was a silly question. Then a girl behind me piped up and asked "Isn't that a homosexual?" Or a few weeks ago when a Goth-girl asked a librarian to help her find a movie for class. She couldn't remember the title..."Citizen....Cain? Like the bible?" I offered my humble assistance.

Speaking of mistakes, I got my history exam back from last week. 78! I'm a frigging genius. I took a whole lot of nothing and pulled a high C out of thin air. I rock. Hard.

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I was pleasantly surprised to learn this afternoon that Conan O'Brien will be replacing no-talent Jay Leno as host of The Tonight Show. I swear, Jay Leno has never made me laugh in my entire life. Not even when I see old footage of his stand-up comedy from the 1970's. Meanwhile, Conan has been funny for years on his own show, not to mention his earlier contributions to The Simpsons. So, congratulations to Conan, and here's hoping NBC doesn't fuck you like they fucked David Letterman.

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After two failed attempts, I finally made it to the Kendô class today. It was something else. The meeting was held in a dance studio in Schenectady, which was appropriate because martial arts is kind of like a dance, except you also gain the ability to kick ass. Of course, I didn't hit anyone today, and that's a good thing because if we were fighting I would be dead now.

First off, I don't have any of the cool equipment the regulars had. Everything I used was borrowed from other people, mostly from Leo, the guy who brought me to class in the first place. Secondly, it wasn't just a Kendô class. The first order of the day was something called Iaidô (居合道), which is all about drawing the katana (刀) from the saya (鞘), killing your opponent, swiping the blood off of the blade and then replacing the katana. These routines are called kata (型), a word which many different martial arts use. I was instructed separately on the side by some of the senior students. I was safely using a bokken (木剣) but most of these guys were using actual swords. This freaked me out a little bit. I mean, if Schenectady hadn't gone to hell and the bank next door to the studio was open, we could have robbed it. We could have walked next door, cut the line, walked up to the teller and said "Hi. We have swords. Give us the money."

After a few hours of Iaidô we took a break and switched to Kendô. At first, we were doing more ritual-type stuff, only now I was going through a kata with another student in a mock battle. Don't worry, in Kendô nobody uses real swords. We did the kata a bunch of times before everyone put away the bokken and broke out the bamboo swords, known as shinai (竹刀). At this point I was swept aside and practiced something a little more basic while the regulars began smacking each other around. I had to learn the basic "shuffle" step that Kendô students use, which has its own Japanese name that I can't remember. Frankly, I learned so many Japanese words today that I've forgotten them already. Anyway, it was really exhausting, shuffling forwards and backwards on the floor, but it's a great workout and I certainly need that more than hitting people with sticks. It was hard to hear the instructor as everyone was shouting and the shinai make a lot of noise when they strike things. Iaidô class was calm and quiet but Kendô class was loud and chaotic.

Everything wrapped up around two o'clock as the people who had all that armor began really competing with it. Leo and I both had work to do anyway. On the way home we realized that we'd missed brunch at the cafeteria and we'd have to wait for dinner, a tall order since we were both hungry after all that work. So we stopped and bought lunch on the streets. I had Chinese food for the first time since August, and boy did I miss it. The food they give us here isn't that bad but it's always the same. Lots of pasta or cuts of meat, with the occasional sandwich or cooked chicken. Where's the General Tso's Chicken? How long must I go without Chicken Tikka Masala? And who do I have to blow to get some Takoyaki?

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That's right, now I can call a phone number and leave voice messages which are posted to the site for free (and hosted too, saving me the bandwidth!) They call it Audioblogging and I think I like it.



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I know what you're thinking: Wow, since Dan didn't post anything yesterday he must have been really busy! Hardly. I spent all day surfing the internet and revising my own writing. The Chuck Palahniuk recap will be online this weekend, I promise.

I did go out last night to see Shaun of the Dead, the "romantic zombie comedy" from England. Great movie, very funny at times but also a good zombie-type movie as well. It's a good thing I don't work at the Post Office anymore, because I would be all over my former co-worker named Shawn. He'd be "Shawn of the Dead" through Christmas.

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Being sick in college is no fun at all. Classes take twice as long and I'm constantly interrupting the professors with my coughing. Work is starting to pile up, not because I'm falling behind, it's just that more classes have big assignments coming up in the next two weeks. So I'll be doing a lot of reading and writing this weekend, although I think I'll keep writing about me because I've got that particular bug again. The Chuck Palahniuk story is still being edited, I went on a tangent explaining the circumstances of seeing the movie, which is probably better told in its own tale. Don't worry, it'll be up soon, and more!

If anyone's curious, I did attend tonight's meeting of the Anime Gamers Alliance, not a mere "club" as I reported yesterday. Pretty cool, actually. They showed 千年女優 (Millennium Actress), a moving, emotional movie that I would expect the average college-age anime fan to ignore as it doesn't feature giant robots or naked schoolgirls. So to see a group eager to enjoy a quality film like that made me happy. The movie, on the other hand, always makes me cry, so I took careful steps to avoid doing so in a room full of people.

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I'm actually sort of busy now. I spent all day writing, as I promised, about Tuesday's meeting with Chuck Palahniuk although it turned into a story more about me somehow. I'm selfish that way. It's seven pages long with one and a half line spacing. I'm currently double-checking it but when it's totally ready I'll post it either tomorrow night or on Friday. Besides that, I went to a meeting of the Albany Anime Club tonight after class and tomorrow there's a meeting of something called the Anime Gamers Club. I'm not an anime freak, I swear, but I've got to check these clubs out or I'm never going to meet anyone. My roommate still isn't here, so until he walks in the door, I'm going to ignore any forecasted arrivals (but I will keep that side of the room clear).

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Just a quick word to let you all know that I made it alive to France. The trip from New York to Dijon (via Geneva, Paris, airplane, bus and train) went off without a hitch. Now I have the small task ahead of me of building a new (temporary) life here in Dijon. I can't say I'm really stressed about it but I realize that I am a bit lazy and shy. I will really have to make an effort to fill my time since my job as a language assistant only takes up 12 hours a week. Yikes! It's something I should be excited about, and I am, but it's also a bit daunting. It has also been a bit lonely since I haven't met any of the other assistants yet. There is a training session next week. But, things are progressing. I managed to open a bank account today but getting a phone is a whole different ball of wax. Cell phones are relatively expensive, and there are just way too many options and details for my mind to absorb. Plus, it's all in French! Until next time...


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I was reading The Smoking Gun this morning when I came upon this item. Apparently three youths extracted "revenge" for an allegedly low-quality milkshake they got at McDonald's by leaving a homemade explosive in the restaurant. So now I know how to make this explosive too, which I'm certain will come in handy someday.

What's really interesting is the three mug shots featured on the page. Notice two of the three youths have amused expressions on their faces while the third has a cold, dead stare? The third guy is a soldier stationed at Ft. Bragg. Are we scared yet?

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I'm officially sick, for those who haven't heard. I could really use some antihistamine right now but I'm making do with lots of tissues and a big bag of Hall's PLUS Cough Drops. They have a "medicine center" which tastes like shit and feels gross in my mouth, kind of like my own mucous. So I guess it works, although it's definitely a "lesser of two evils" matter.

I was totally unprepared for my history exam this morning, so all night and early this morning I was in full panic mode. I was running a dozen different scenarios in my head, things like dropping the course, looking for another European History course (I must have one to graduate), even pleading for an extra credit assignment which I could never possibly complete in addition to my other work. As it turns out, it wasn't that bad. Thanks to my two favorite words, "partial credit," I could pull a C out of this, and there will be other tests to take to bring that up. I've already begun reading the next book for the class, Thomas More's Utopia.

Speaking of books, tonight I had a rare pleasure: an encounter with successful author Chuck Palahniuk. The story deserves more justice than a few sentences, so I promise (really, I mean it this time) to write an independent piece on this evening's event. In the mean time, I'll need some sleep as tomorrow could be my busiest one-class day yet.

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Let's see: I'm coming down with a cold, I've got a lot of reading to do today for an exam tomorrow morning, and at some point today I'm getting a roommate. Oh yeah, we had a fire alarm this morning circa 5:30. Drill or not, I can't believe that after weeks of sweltering, sleep-with-the-fan-on-hot weather, we were standing outside this morning in cold, see-your-breath weather. Just my luck. Of course, like all fire alarms, we were stuck waiting outside long after the alarm stopped and the fire department had come and gone. Thankfully they didn't try any of that "pretend this is a real fire" crap, like telling us to step away from the building or something. I would have gone for an eye socket otherwise.

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It's OK everyone...it seems the Yankees were just kidding. After Friday night's embarrassing loss to the slovenly Red Sox, they beat their asses handily yesterday and today. Until they meet again next weekend in Boston, the Yanks have a week of what should be pushover teams: three against the Jays and a make-up game against the Rays. In short, the Yanks hold on the AL East should be secure.

My day wasn't as exciting as I thought it might be. I was offered a trip to a local Kendo (剣道) organization. The offer came from Leo, a guy who is in my Confucianism/Samurai Ethic class as well an officer of the aforementioned JSA. The two of us left (relatively) early this morning to head over to nearby Schenectady, a town which looks like it's seen better days. The main street, which happened to be the street the Kendo class was on, was totally torn up and under heavy construction. As a result, many businesses along the road were closed. We were unable to enter the building where the class was to be held. Indeed, there was no sign of life in any window we could see. So we turned around and went home. We'll keep in touch and hopefully I'll go on Wednesday morning instead. This might be a cool thing to do, but it might also fuck me up. I'll try to take a few pictures if we ever get into the class.

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Albany is being deluged with rain from what was once Hurricane Ivan. I don't remember when it started (Thursday?) but it's supposed to stop today. Not that I plan on going out; I've still got much reading to do and I've been procrastinating, as usual. In theory, the Yankees and Red Sox will play their second game of the weekend, but I hear it's raining in New York so perhaps the Yanks will get an extra day to "snap out of it" and play some goddamn baseball.

As I type, FOX Sports started their broadcast with an absurd video montage likening the Yanks/Sox rivalry to Star Wars, with the Yanks playing the "evil empire" role. It's a weak analogy to be sure, and it was all a cheap ploy to push the new Star Wars DVD box set coming out soon. They even had one of the commentators hold up a newspaper ad for the DVDs and tell the audience all about it. Fucking soulless, these TV types. For the record, anyone who buys that new DVD set is a sucker. You're not buying the movies we all loved from thirty years ago, you're buying the CGI-bleached, artificial color and flavor added, special Lucas sell-out edition. Not only does Greedo shoot first, but they've edited Hayden fucking Christiansen into Return of the Jedi!! Check this page for some side-by-side comparisons.

OK, seriously, I have to read now. No time for blogging. I might have a crazy story to tell you tomorrow, though.

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There's a big "shodown" this weekend between the Yankees and the Red Sox, and the "slovenly" Sox (thanks Michael Kay) took the first game tonight. I say "bad loss" because the Yanks had the game wrapped up: a 2-1 lead in the ninth should be no problem for Mariano Rivera. Yet a series of miscues (not "errors" per se) and some clutch hitting by Jesus Christ allowed the Sox to score two in ninth. The Yanks, of course, got nothing going in the bottom of the ninth and lost the game. A crucial part of their non-rally was Jason Giambi striking out. Jason is a great baseball player but this season is a total wash-out given his serious injuries and months of absenteeism. There's no fucking reason Giambi should have been at the plate in the bottom of the ninth when he hasn't had a base hit since July 11th. There's a bench full of clutch guys who should have been in there; Bernie Williams, Tony Clark and Ruben Sierra were all available. In fact, Ruben was left holding his dick in the on-deck circle when John Olerud struck out to end the game. Can you sense how frustrated I am right now? I hope so.

I'm also fucking starving right now. I ate a very light dinner tonight: a salad, some nachos (without meat or beans) and a bowl of vanilla pudding. They were serving Buffalo Wings, which I love, but I made a conscious effort to pass on them. So now I'm really goddamn hungry and the Yankees lost so throw me a fucking bone here.

ARRRR! Maybe some shuteye will help. That, and a cookie.

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Much content has been added to the official website of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, including a trailer of actual game footage. I'm looking forward to getting back to my old hobby of popping caps, jacking fly rides, and strengthening my pimp hand (it had atrophied in the two years since GTA: Vice City). I will miss the light-hearted 80's tunes of that game, as I don't know what the San Andreas soundtrack will contain. It certainly won't be Lawrence Welk.

BTW, sharp-eyed visitors may notice a new link on the right: Wikipedia, the "free encyclopedia." It's an ambitious project to create a large collaboration of informative articles on everything. Anyone (and I mean anyone) can write or edit the entries. Indeed, part of the fun of visiting the site everyday is watching for troublemakers and the chaos they create.

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Whilst sitting here not doing what I'm supposed to be doing, I was interrupted by a dorm official. After asking me the rhetorical question "do you have a roommate," he informed me that I will receive one on Monday. He also "reminded" me about not keeping empty beer bottles in my room, which makes him the fifth person in 24 hours to intrude upon my personal alcohol consumption. When I bought a 12 pack of Molsons last night, I was carded at the supermarket, carded outside the dorm by a guy on a bike, and two people stuck their heads in my room while I was relaxing with said Molsons later that evening. I wonder if they realize that all this scrutiny only forces people to drink away from prying eyes, encouraging closed-door, secluded consumption.

But getting back to the new roommate, the letter I was given is quite humorous. It opens with "As I am sure you are aware there is an extra space in your room." Yeah, I think there's some space in the corner, behind the lamp. These rooms are incredibly small for one person, let alone two. I shudder to think how we'll coexist in here. All I can hope is that this person is relatively cool. Not too cool, or that will reflect badly on me, and not totally uncool because that would be like tying an anchor around me. And he better be at least 21 years old or else my divine right to drink will be severely trammelled.

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I figured I should try this blogging thing before I head out on my big adventure this afternoon. After receiving an invitation to blog weeks ago, I decided to finally give it try. Just so happens it was the day after Dan accidentally erased the blog. So here I go again.

I'm Salena, Dan's sister. Off I go to France to be an English language assistant in Dijon, France for six months. I'll be working with older students who are at least my age, helping them with their conversation skills and accent. Yeah, I guess I'm a little nervous (although I was able to sleep last night - score). Why am I nervous, you ask?

1. I don't know a soul in Dijon
2. I haven't spoken French regularly since I was at school three years ago
3. I've never taught anything in my life (P.S. Dan, there are two acceptable pronunciations of "niche").
4. I'll only be teaching English 15 hours a week - what the hell will I do with the rest of my time?
5. The pay is shit
6. I'm leaving my boyfriend behind and long-distance relationships suck

Sounds great so far, huh? I reckon no matter how bad it gets, it couldn't be worse than my old, soul-destroying job at NFF. I'll try to remember that as I lug two enormous bags through two plane rides, the bus and the train. No really, I'll have plenty of time to travel. I'll probably tutor on the side, do some sort of sport (or martial art perhaps?) or maybe get some sort of internship.

All in all, this should be a great thing for me. Check back to see how it all pans out.


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After years of thinking I was the only American dude who loved Japanese rock star Gackt, I found an English fan site full of people who dig the "mad aristocrat." After looking around, I've found out that I'm still the only American dude who loves him, but there's plenty of girls who dig those heavenly good looks. Am I saying I find Gackt attractive? Why do you ask? Is that your way of pretending you don't find him attractive? Because you're probably lying if you're saying that, and if you're not honest with me than I have no reason to be honest with you, so my answer is "no."

Check out his official site if you have flash, it's pretty cool.

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...or at least, that's what I'm calling it. Fact is, while drunk-blogging (drlogging) last week I casually clicked on the "delete blog" button. I've learned that nothing sobers a man up like a little anxiety; that includes losing your car keys at the movies, watching your friend fall down a flight of stairs, or accidentally erasing six months of typing. So if you're ever drunk and need to clear your head, have a friend steal your keys behind your back you'll be ready to drive in no time!

Oh, but regarding this blog, the good people at Blogger managed to restore the data. So hopefully everything should return to normal.

Tonight is Rosh Hashanah, which means no class tonight or tomorrow. Jewish holidays are funny that way, they wrap around real days, sunset to sunset, so that's why real calendars often dispute which "day" is actually the holiday. The point of this is I have no class until Monday night. That's quite a weekend! Sadly, my plans to go home were dashed as none of my friends are available. They're all working or otherwise occupied. I guess this is the price I pay for not keeping any of my Jewish friends from high school. C'est la vie.



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The JSA thing worked out. We gathered at a local bar, the Long Branch Tavern (no website?), which was really crowded. On the plus side, there were $1.75 Molsons. Afgter drinking an unknown number of Molsons, we migrated to a prviate residentce bnelonging to one of the JSA officers. There we stayed for an unknmown length of times, drinking an unkown number of beers. Eventaully it all ended, and know I 'm home bolgging drunk (drlogging?) while drinking water. I think I tried to call everyone I know in hopes to talk to someone, but no one was at home AND awake. Shit./

Oh, yeah, it's Septenmber 11th today. Never forget.

(typos not edited)

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So today was a non-class day but I spent a lot of time on campus all the same. First stop was an "interest meeting" for the Study Abroad program to Japan. Specifically, Albany students have the option to spend a semester or a full academic year at 関西外国大学　(Kansai Gaidai for short). Apparently there are no shortage of spots so long as I have at least a 3.0 GPA which sounds feasible. I also need letters of recommendation from two teachers, which sounds harder but assuming I meet the first requirement I should do well enough by at least two teachers to get those letters, especially since one of my teachers is the chair of the East Asian Studies department. I bet her opinion carries some weight!

After the meeting got me all pumped to go to Japan, I checked out something called "Theater Council." I had no idea what that entailed, and having attended the first meeting, I still have no idea. I'm pretty sure it doesn't mean performing, so I'm out.

I spent the bulk of the afternoon in the library watching the next silent film for my Soviet/Russian Cinema class. This was a stirring picture called Bed and Sofa which didn't knock my socks off like the last one (Strike) did, but it was quite good. I guess I knew exactly where the story was headed but I didn't anticipate every twist it took to get there. Still, I am eager to get to some "talkies" sooner or later.

Tonight's big event was the first meeting of the Japanese Student Association (I mistook it for a "club" in an earlier post). Apparently it is for both Japanese students and students of Japanese. Seems OK, time will tell if it is worth continuing attendance. Supposedly there's a party tonight that I might try to locate. Otherwise it's just another weekend of extreme (isolated) drunkenness for me. To the High Life!

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Learning nothing from the Joe Camel debacle, some Japanese folks have taken it upon themselves to make mascots for various cigarette brands. The page is in Japanese, of course, so many of the brand names will be unfamiliar (and unintelligible) to some, but just click down the list of links on the left and you'll see what I mean. Make sure to check out Marlboro, which is the first item underneath "Philip Morris." The first picture is way more hardcore than any cowboy.

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Your speakers should be turned on.
Fact or fraud...it's...wow.

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It's been raining since last night here in the "Capital District," as the radio DJs call it. Don't forget that Albany is the capital of our fine Empire State. Bah, don't get me started on state capitals or I'll never stop. Instead, let's talk about real life for a change.

I turned in my first "paper" last night for East Asian Cinema. One down, seven to go. I use the quotes because she has a strict one-page limit which doesn't make any sense to me. Sure, I'm all for brevity, but a "limit?" Seems anti-creative to me. If you want to read it, here it is in simple text format. Don't you dare steal that shit. Besides, it's not graded yet. It might suck ass. Wouldn't that be hysterical?

Another Iron Thursday has come and gone. The rain was a drag, but not as much as the wind. Get it? Drag? Fuck you. The weather was hell on my poor old umbrella, and I mean old. I bought this at least eleven years ago at Dickinson College. Its red & white pattern reminds me of the Umbrella Corporation logo. Right now I'm thinking that most of you have no idea what that is, and I can't decide if that's my problem or yours. I'll blame you. Anyway, amid the rain and wind there was a curious amount of sunshine. In fact, I got a beautiful view of a pretty serious rainbow on campus. It rose above the main "roof" of the Academic Podium and passed behind the bell tower. Can you photograph rainbows? I thought I heard that they didn't show up on film, or am I thinking of holograms? Irregardless, I don't carry my camera around on Iron Thursdays. I can ill afford to waste time with snapshots.

Tomorrow might be a good day for photos. I have no classes on Fridays, but tomorrow I'll be out & about campus for various "interest meetings," including study abroad, "theater council," and the Japanese Student Club. Looks like Salena was right about that one. As I expected, there is an anime club on campus, but they don't meet until the 22nd. And yeah, that's a Wednesday, so it conflicts with my East Asian Cinema class. Good ol' Murphy's Law, it never fails. On the bright side, it's only a half-semester course, so I'll only miss five meetings at the most. The president happens to be in my Confucianism/Samurai Ethic class so we've already had a chat about it. I've offered to shown anything from my collection. I hope I get to share Jojo's Bizarre Adventure because it is so goddamn baad assssss. Joe, you and I need to finish watching it sometime because you didn't even get to the really good parts.

Two words:Za Worldo!!

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You know me. I love to try new things. Change doesn't bother me in the slightest. The thought of having a "daily routine" where nothing ever changed makes me scared. So it should come as no surprise that I did something pretty crazy today.

I put mayo on my sloppy joe sandwich.

I think everything's going to work out here.


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Last night something horrible happened. I did something that I never thought I would do, something I used to lambast others about because they did it without reservation. I can't believe I stooped so low as to do what I did, but in hindsight I'm not sure what else I could have done.

It was 11-something at night and I had just finished watching a David Cross special on HBO and I was pretty tired. As you know, Tuesdays are mad busy for me so I need to wake up early. I laid down with HBO still on (Spies Like Us was on, if you care) and tried to go to sleep. The only problem was there was this incredible racket outside. It wasn't quite a party (no music), just lots of indistinct voices punctuated by the occasional "OOHHHHHHHHHHH!" You know, that hooting and hollering you sometimes hear in rap videos or at street hoops games? Like when someone gets dunked on, or somebody "disses" someone else really badly, a random person just shouts "OOHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhh...." You'd know it if you heard it, and I was hearing it every sixty seconds. I had my doubts that someone was really earning such "street acclaim," if I may coin a term, and I had to get to bed to go to class early today. What could I do? Get dressed and go out the front door and ask them to "keep it down?" Politely request that they "respect" the dorm Quiet Time (9PM weekdays, 2AM weekends)? I wasn't going out there to face an unknown number of rowdy-types.

So I called security.

I can't believe it either, but what other option did I have?

Anyway, my complaint made I continued my efforts to fall asleep. Then came a knock at the door. I was beyond exhausted at this point and it was practically midnight, but I knew who it was. It was security, although they called themselves "UPD" and they looked like NY State Troopers without the funny hats (whose barracks are nearby, if you're curious). Irregardless of that trivia fact, I told them what was happening and they said they had heard the noises coming into the building. Apparently it was coming from the first floor, not outside as I had thought. This made me wonder if maybe I could have resolved my own problem, but it was too late to back out now. They asked for an absurd amount of unnecessary data, including my social security number. What the fuck are they going to do with that? Give me a tax credit? Nosy questions aside, they silenced the gathering and allowed me to sleep in peace. Well, as peaceful a sleep as I could get knowing that deep down in my heart I was a stone-cold snitch.

On the bright side, we had fried chicken for dinner tonight. It rocked.

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It seems a real shame that barely a week into school we get this Labor Day weekend. In about a month I could probably really use an extra day to do classwork or maybe go visit my friends back home. Instead, it's just more time to kill. I tried to kill some of it at the library but they decided to close for the holiday. As a little bonus, when I went out to my car I discovered a fresh dent in the driver's door. Function-wise, there is no damage, but it's just another "ding" that's gonna make this thing harder to sell. I'm reminded of my friend Dylan's words on this subject, and I paraphrase: "Buying a car is one of the worst investments you can make. It does nothing but depreciate in value from the second you drive it off the lot."

I've read a few things in preparation for tomorrow's classes. So far I've read most of The Analects of Confucius. It's pretty cool but hard to retain for very long. The book is essentially a collection of seemingly random thoughts by "the Master." I'll probably go over it again tomorrow before class. It's a fun book to keep around, but I've noticed that the contents are available for free on various websites. Just Google it. I wish I had time to learn Chinese and really get into the nuts and bolts of the original text but my academic life is pretty tight right now. I suspect this won't be the last time I study Confucius given my major. I wonder if Confucius would laud W on his decision to invade Iraq as a supreme gesture of filial piety?

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...although I'm getting there. I've decided I need a little "school spirit" around here so I've changed the color scheme to Purple and Yellow, the SUNY Albany school colors. Well, technically they call it "Purple and Gold" but that's bullshit. Sports franchises try that line all the time, but let's be frank: I know Yellow when I see it. If you want to talk about Gold, the Rams and Saints wear Gold. The Lakers, Steelers and the UAlbany Great Danes wear Yellow.

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Not much to do today, so I suppose I'll take a moment and gripe about the current performance of the New York Yankees. On August 14th, they were 75-41 with a cozy 10.5 game lead on the Red Sox. As of today, they still have an impressive win-loss record (best in the AL, in fact) but their sub-standard play has allowed the Sox to play serious catch-up. They are now a mere 2.5 games back! I'm not worried yet, as I know the Red Sox will eventually slow down and the Yankees always heat up, but I'm starting to sweat a little too much. And no, it's not the weather. Conditions in Albany have much improved since last weekend.

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It seems the people responsible for perpetuating the Star Trek are wondering about the future of the "franchise." They look at the failure of the last two movies and the declining ratings of the current TV series and they scratch their collective heads. Here's some free advice: You're fired! The people in "creative control" of the concepts and brand-name of "Star Trek" have run it aground with their PC-tendencies and reliance on technobabble. It's time for a fresh perspective. You know there are thousands of losers chomping at the bit to get back into the escape of Star Trek. All you have to do is tap that slumbering audience.

Goddamn it, I'm smart. Send me a check already.

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What's the thing they say about drinking alone? And am I still "alone" if I leave the door open? One guy popped his head in and asked about the Yankees game (they lost, fuckers), so he counts as person, right?

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I'm happy to report that after a long hiatus, Tom Green's official website is back, in blog form no less! I am a big fan of Tom and I look forward to anything he chooses to offer me as entertainment. If you're unfamiliar with Tom's comedic stylings you can rent his magnum opus Freddy Got Fingered, which he wrote, directed and starred in. The film was a unmitigated financial and critical failure, winning five Razzie awards which Tom actually showed up to collect. Upon seeing the umbilical-cord-cutting-scene, my friend Dan declared it "unreleasable."

You know I love it.

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Whilst wasting away my Friday I came across this amusing essay comparing Calvin & Hobbes and the movie Fight Club. Please note that due to scrutinization of major plot points, you should not read the article if you haven't first seen the movie. Of course, if you haven't seen Fight Club by now, what the Hell are you doing with yourself? Go rent it. Or come to my room and we'll watch it together.

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Today was my first taste of Iron Thursday. I call it that because I have four of my classes on Thursdays for a total class time of eight hours and twenty minutes. The good news is that they're sufficiently spaced out so that I can catch up on any required reading between classes. The bad news is that the first one starts at 8:45 AM and the last one ends at 8:35 PM. Today also happened to be my first taste of "Soviet and Russian Cinema." It seems OK. There is a paper, but only one, and since the class meets once a week I figure I've got plenty of time to do it. If you add up all the paper requirements of my five classes, I'm looking at eight papers this semester. While this doesn't put a smile on my face, it doesn't loosen my bowels either, as four of the "papers" are only one page apiece (she is very firm on that).

In the mean time I have the rest of the weekend off. Feel free to e-mail or call me as I don't have any plans. I was thinking about a movie, but given the amount of films I've already seen this week my ass is a little numb.

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I just read the latest issue of Get Your War On and I realized I had never mentioned it. It's really fucking hilarious, especially the first few issues. I remember reading it for the first time when I visited my buddy Ben at school about a month after September 11th, 2001. I was still really angry and these comics were right up my alley. It's not always on target, but this latest batch is really good.

Getting back to me, (which is what this entire website is about, goddamn it) let's recap what I said I would do today:

Parking permit? Check.
Books? Three down, three still on order.
Japanese 101? Invaded. They're only going to finish two chapters this semester. I think I can skip that.

As a bonus, I went to the supermarket and loaded my fridge with beverages. The "bulk container" policy here at Albany bugs me a little. I'm of legal age to drink alcohol. It shouldn't be anyone's business how much alcohol I choose to drink or possess at one time. But the rules state that I cannot possess more than "twelve 12 oz. bottles of beer or one liter of liquor." And that's an exclusive OR, so I can't mix and match. It just so happens that the local market offers a 30-pack of Miller High Life and I happen to be a High Life Man. Instead, I was forced to compromise and buy the 12-pack. It's all because of that stupid "number one party school" label, which is itself baseless because the survey was not scientifically taken. Most of the data was collected online which means it's as trustworthy as Johnnie Cochran. But any "party publicity" is bad publicity for the university, so they're forced to overreact and create a whole slew of new rules. This includes a book of Community Rights & Responsibilites which we all got on the first day. Thank God they gave me this book or I would have made a major faux-pas: According to Appendix J, I'm not allowed to rape anyone. Boy would my face have been red!

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Before I get to my day, check out this curiosity. Apparently it was CAPCOM's answer to the Neo Geo and it failed miserably. C'est la vie.

I only have one class today (well, tonight really) but I've got a lot to do today. I've got to get my parking permit as well as move my car. The street it's been parked on since Friday is verboten from late Wednesday into Thursday. I guess they clean the street during that time. I'll probably just leave it on campus for the night.

I've also got to find some more books. I had many opportunities to buy all my books over the weekend, but my own instincts (as well as advice from others) convinced me I should wait to visit class before I buy any books. So guess what? Many of the books I need are sold out, and the bookstore is very non-committal on when they'll be available. Fortunately, I have a car, so today I will visit a few local bookstores in hopes of finding the missing tomes. And next semester I'm buying everything in advance. Fuck it.

I'm also going to drop in on a Japanese 101 class. I'm not taking 101 now because I suspect that I already know enough to start with 102 in the Spring. Today I will test my suspicion. I've heard that in the whole semester, 101 only covers 24 kanji. I know, like, 30 or something.

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I've tried to make this post four times already, but my computer and browser keep shitting themselves. I must find out what the FUCK is wrong with my computer.

Anyway, I've been to almost all my classes at least once by now, and I don't know what to say. I've got mixed feelings about this, to say the least. On the one hand, this school seems eerily similar to WCC. Several teachers seem ill prepared to teach or operate the necessary equipment in their classrooms. My fellow students look just as dazed and confused as my former WCC classmates, although this crop is certainly much younger.

On the other hand, some of my teachers seem eager and ready to teach their hearts out, so to speak. The material thus far seems a hell of a lot more interesting. And in taking note of the aforementioned similarities, I feel a little more confident in my ability to succeed here as I did at WCC. Of my five classes, I've been to four. One class looks like a pushover. One class seems potentially challenging but I feel good about it. Another class seems really hard but I'm quietly confident I'll find a way to take care of business. And the fourth class I can't assess yet, but there aren't any papers to write so that's good news. I won't go to the fifth class until Thursday night but given that it's "Soviet and Russian Cinema," I have a hunch it'll be OK.

On the third, strange hand, I've noticed a curious shift in the racial demographic on campus compared to WCC. The Spanish speaking students are gone, and in their place are Asians. Lots of Asians, both of the East and South variety.

I haven't made any friends yet. I suppose this is the price I pay for not having a roommate. It is early, but it's a little disappointing because it seems like everyone else already knows someone else. As far as girls go, well, they're all hot. Every one of them. This does not help my confidence in approaching them.

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