yes, you may

Today is Memorial Day here in the United States. In theory, we're supposed to take the day off and remember our veterans...or is that Veteran's Day? Anyway, I had to go to work so I'm going to need some cheering up. Check out these sites for a good laugh:

Fenslerfilm - I don't know what's going on here, but this site has some hilarious mock PSAs based on the old G.I. Joe cartoon. In case you've forgotten (or never saw the show), every episode ended with a message to the kids at home. Helpful hints, like what to do if a fire breaks out, or what to do if your friend falls on thin ice. They always finished with the line: "Now you know, and knowing is half the battle." Fenslerfilm has dubbed and edited them for comedic purposes. They are pretty short so download them all. Trust me.

Japander (Japan + pander) - You've probably heard that lots of celebrities go to Japan to make commercials. It was basis for a decent movie last year. Many of these actors/singers/models don't do commercials in the United States for whatever reason, but Japan is another story. Obviously, these ads are only designated to be seen in Japan, but this site lets us get in on the fun. And I mean fun, because some of these ads are positively bizarre and therefore hysterical. I'm sure you'll find a favorite; mine are Nicolas Cage's pachinko ads and anything featuring the governor of California.

Labels: comedic insanity, Japan

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Worried about a Zombie Apocalypse? Aren't we all! Here's a few sites which allow you to preview the inevitable end of the human race, provided you have a Java-compatible browser.

Kevan Davis' Zombie Infection Simulation is one man's vision of the destruction of our species. You can download a 3D version of the simulation at the bottom of the page (read the fine print). The zombies move slowly but always win out in the end.

Matt Cordes modified the above program to produce this new version where the humans can fight back. Like the original, it predicts our extinction.

Finally, "John" has turned our annihilation into a game you can control. Drop nuclear weapons to stop the zombies before it's too late. Sure, you'll end up killing hundreds of civilians, but never forget this axiom: the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one.

Labels: flash games, zombies

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Here's a wonderful cartoon from Tom Tomorrow: This Modern World: Defining Deviancy Down. I've heard this argument a lot recently contrasting the prisoner abuse scandal and the murder of Nick Berg. The idea that it's OK to torture someone because the other side does it too, well, that's absurd.

Labels: politics

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Just watch and see!

Mario Brothers - Part II: See the invasion that preceeded to the first Super Mario Brothers game. I know it says "Part II" but the other parts are kind of strange.

Super Mario Reloaded: Lots of people complained that The Matrix Reloaded was little more than an expensive, non-interactive video game. Well this flash movie proves it.

Labels: flash, movies, video games

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Some font changes have been made; maybe you'll notice, maybe you won't. Also added a counter, because deep down I worry that I'm the only person visiting this site. After all, no one is leaving comments and no one is e-mailing me anymore. >_<

Labels: site news

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Here's a hobby I can best describe as "creepy." In Japan, it's called kigurumi　(着ぐるみ). Check out this sample image I swiped. If you want more, check out this site or this one. There's also this site which explains how you too can join the craze. If you really want to see some shit, well, you should check out Sabrina's site and click on either of the "SABRINow" buttons. Let it load...um...yeah.

Labels: Japan

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On a routine visit to GameFAQS.com I came across some sad news. Christoper MacDonald died this week. Who is he? Well, the truth is I didn't know him, nor did I ever meet him or speak to him directly. But Chris wrote sixty FAQs for a variety of video game titles. His work was thorough and well organized and became the gold standard for future "how-to" video game guides. In fact, his work was so good that on more than one occasion video game magazines took it upon themselves to redistribute his work without his permission. Consequently, he took them to court and developed his own "copyright" statement which he included in all subsequent FAQs which became the gold standard for FAQ copyright statements. Personally, I found Chris' guide to Neo Geo titles to be most impressive.

A list of Chris' work can be found here and a memorial page written by his brother is over here. I have also added GameFAQS.com to the Links bar on the right.

R.I.P.

Labels: RIP, video games

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Since I know my public demands it, I have (supposedly) enabled the "comment" function. This means that (in theory) visitors can post their comments for everyone to read. Play nice!

Labels: awkward firsts, site news

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I will share my (lengthy) thoughts on video games soon, but here's a tidbit for you: I really enjoy the Grand Theft Auto series, or at least the last two games. It's not because I'm a closet miscreant, but I do love the land of make-believe. Specifically, I like to drive around a make-believe city shooting make-believe pedestrians and then evading the make-believe police.

The news is that the official Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas website is now open. Here's a cool screenshot I borrowed.

"I'm hot like lava / You got a problem / I got a problem solver / And his name is Revolver"

Labels: GTA, rap, video games

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Well, this is a milestone day indeed. Not only has the counter just now passed 99 days, but I have discovered that feitclub.com is now the #1 result for "feitclub" or "Daniel Feit" on the Google!

"Dan Feit," on the other hand, goes to lots of weird German sites.

Labels: site news

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From the Times: Video Appears to Show Beheading of American Civilian (must register, will expire in one week).

The tape was "briefly" made public on the web, which means it's probably all over Kazaa by now. T-Spot, if you're reading this, don't ever download this video. Please.

Labels: the horror

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You probably heard this week about the cheesy advertising gimmick that Major League Baseball and Sony Pictures cooked up. They thought it would a good idea to put Spider-Man logos on all the bases for one whole weekend in June to promote the upcoming Spider-Man 2 movie (link NOT provided, damn their over-saturated hides)! Well, everyone thought it was a horrible idea, as evidenced here and here. Apparently the suits got the message and actually changed the promotion. While there's no guarantee they won't try this again next year, I'm pleasantly surprised to see that public opinion actually counted for something.

Now if we could only get them to start World Series games before 8 PM...

Labels: baseball, movies, sports

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OK, this ain't a Zapruder Film or anything, but a supervisor at the F.A.A. took it upon himself to destroy an audio recording of statements made by air traffic controllers on September 11th, 2001. Then he didn't tell anyone about the tape until yesterday, apparently. I'm no conspiracy seeker but stories like these always make me wonder.

(Remember, NY Times links expire in a week, and you must register to read the whole story)

Labels: frustration

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From the "Did You Know?" department: On this day in 1925, John Scopes was arrested in Dayton, Tennesee for teaching schoolchildren the theory of evolution. The resulting "Monkey Trial" captivated the nation as is still considered by many to be the "trial of the century."

Seventy-nine years later, however, the issue is hardly settled. As we speak, the fate of evolution is in jeopardy thanks to pseudoscience. Scientists are still forced to fend off absurdities such as "Creation Science" and "Intelligent Design."

I wonder if this has anything to do with the decline of interest in the sciences in the United States? Do the Chinese have to put up with this?

Labels: frustration

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What is it about NYU students? Apparently a gaggle of these wackos have taken it upon themselves to take Pac-Man out of the arcade and onto the streets of Lower Manhattan. Naturally, their game is called "Pac Manhattan."

Don't these people know we're at war? Lives are at stake. We must be ever vigilant in our efforts to maintain Homeland Security. But no, these hippies are running around the East Village playing games, frightening pedestrians and disrupting traffic. If our young men have this much free time on their hands then clearly the Terrorists have Won!

I hope you know I'm kidding. I just wanted to bring this to the attention of a certain unmotivated NYU Grad who should have thought of this first.

Labels: manhattan, video games

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Just months before its planned release, the Disney Money Machine has banned its Miramax division from distributing Michael Moore's upcoming documentary, Fahrenheit 9/11. Read more about it at The New York Times (must register, link expires in a week).

Are we still wondering why media consolidation is a bad thing?

Labels: movies

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Two new links added:

[1] The Onion. If Ben Franklin had lived in modern times, his famous quote regarding the world's certainties would probably sound like this: "nothing can be said to be certain except death, taxes, and the hilarity of the Onion." Here's a highlight from this week's issue.

[2] NES Videos. This one is personal. Most young men my age grew up around the Nintendo Entertainment System or NES. I spent years in my basement playing these games, and while modern games don't "thrill" me anymore (more on that later), the classics will always be close to my heart. The site is a collection of "time attack" movies. These movies are extraordinary run-throughs of NES games, often in "record" time, using an emulator. Emulators allow players to record their movements while slowing down gameplay and undoing mistakes, creating a near-perfect "performance" of the game. I'm a huge fan of these movies, and I even made one myself.

EDIT (7/17/04): At this time my run is no longer there. I had made a time attack of ヒットラーの復活, known in the U.S. as Bionic Commando. It was bested by "Genisto," another regular player, and he did a damn fine job too. I will make another now that I'm on vacation, although I'll be playing a different game. I can't improve on his work.

Labels: site news, video games

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I'd like to give a special "fuck you" to the "The Great Five Boro Bike Tour" for strangling the roadways yesterday and stranding me in the Bronx. All I wanted to do was get to my little cousin's communion but, as you can see on this map, I had nowhere to go. Isn't there enough beauty in Upstate New York to go biking in?

Labels: frustration

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I just watched 18 horses run in a circle, supposedly "the most exciting two minutes in sport." I admit, I got a bit of a thrill when one horse overtook another horse at the last minute. But am I the only person here wondering where the "sport" is? I know the definition is pretty vague: "An active diversion requiring physical exertion and competition." But doesn't that mean professional wrestling is also a sport? Hell, couldn't sex qualify as sport under that definition?

Labels: sports

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