a history of me

WARNING. Large Post tonight!

It was a sweet end to what I dubbed "Iron Thursday," as today was the last EAS 190 class. Today was also one of the better days I've had here at school, and easily the best "Iron Thursday."

The first treat came around 9:40 AM when a fire alarm interrupted my History class. We were outside waiting long enough for the professor to simply leave, so I finished early. As previously mentioned, I had no English class at all. This meant I could come home to finish work on my presentation for EAS 190, because I was unable to finish the paper until late last night. I know procrastination is a real problem but sometimes it feels like I can't write until the last minute.

While I was here getting ready my roommate's girlfriend showed up. She drove here from New Jersey so it was a little awkward. I had to be here and work while I'm sure the two of them would have rather been alone. Hopefully they found some peace and quiet after I grabbed a bus to go to class at 2:15. Was my presentation finished? Well, it was as finished as I could make it. I had prepared some simple HTML pages instead of traditional transparencies. I had no floppy disks, nor did anyone else I knew. I ended up borrowing a little "flash drive" thingy from Sachiko downstairs.

I was understandably nervous in class as I hadn't prepared as much as I wanted to, not to mention the fact that public speaking isn't easy. I used to say it made me nervous but it doesn't challenge me any more than any other test of knowledge. Sure, it's not easy, but I've learned by now that I don't suck at it like I used to think I did. Maybe it's all the practice I had in high school acting on stage, or maybe because I'm always trying to make people laugh even in class. I just had it in my mind to have fun with it, however possible.

Things didn't go so well. First off, we watched an A&E special on the kamikaze attacks of World War II. The special was hosted by the always awkwardly-animated Bill Kurtis. Watching the program after a whole course about Confucian concepts and their influence on the Bushidô spirit, the show had a new feel. Somehow, it made the entire affair more upsetting. Officially, there was something in my eye, but some people in class might have mistakenly thought I was crying.

After the program a quick discussion where we all agreed that the kamikaze had little or nothing in common with the September 11th, 2001 attacks, we had the traditional break to be followed by the presentations. If was nervous before, now I was nervous and depressed. Great mindset to deliver a speech, right?

I was somewhat soothed as I spent the break on a long walk with Prof. Fessler to get the necessary computer equipment for my presentation. As we traversed through dark, underground corridors, I thought of two things: One, the hallways looked like a horror/sci-fi movie set, and Two, this was a lot of set-up for my rinky-dink HTML presentation. I feared this much "hype" would only make my speech that much more lame.

After a 15-20 trip, and another 5-7 minutes setting up the bloody thing, Murphy's Law showed up and kicked me in the nuts. The flash drive thingy didn't work. We assumed it might just be that particular computer, so I was shown upstairs in the hope I could access the drive on a different computer and then copy the files onto a regular disk (which is what I wanted in the first place). No dice. The other presenter went first instead, sparing the class from waiting for my bad news, but that didn't improve my predicament. I was now underprepared AND without visual aids, or as the French would say, "I was fucked."

Low-Tech was the only way out of this hole. I got up there, paper in one hand, dry-erase marker in the other, and I just started talking. I tried to remember what I had written on the HTML pages, including various biographical facts concerning key figures in my paper. I hadn't written them down in the paper because they didn't belong there, but in a speech an easy way to kill time and appeal to the audience is to give some factual background about anyone you might be talking about.

So I did what I could. It wasn't curt or particularly well thought-out. Beyond writing the names of the people in my paper, I never wrote anything else on the board, like I should have. I constantly threw out citations to Confucius' Analects which make sense in a paper but don't sound so hot in an oral format. I wasn't panicking, though, and I did my best to look up and make eye contact with the class when possible. Most people seemed pretty uninterested but my occasional joke did provoke small chuckles like an defibrillator jolts a patient's body involuntarily. Frankly, I don't know how real teachers get up there and address students for a living. I better find out, though, if I really expect to participate in the JET Programme.

After several tangents and non-sequiturs, my speech grinded to a halt. Prof. Fessler asked some obligatory follow-up questions, which I feel I responded well to although I did meander in my answers. I got another laugh or two with my candidness, though. Certainly everyone was eager to leave at that point as I was the only thing preventing the class from ending as it was 5:30 PM. For most students, that means "I'm out!" I had another class to attend, but that's not the end of the story. People actually liked my speech! Maybe it was because I went last, maybe it was my self-depreciating manner, or maybe it was my voice projection and fleeting eye contact I gave the audience, but some students actually made a point to tell me they enjoyed it. One even channeled the Comic Book Guy to tell me "Best. Presentation. Ever."

I rode that high into the next class, although around 8PM I got pretty tired. Still, today ruled. I'm officially enjoying the weekend. Hell, I'm rolling so hard right now, a total stranger gave me a free beer for using my phone while I've been here typing. And a High Life to boot!

P.S. I would show you the HTML pages I prepared but suddenly the flash drive thingy doesn't work in my computer anymore, even though it worked perfectly fine earlier today. I hope I didn't break the goddamn thing because Sachiko had other things on there. I may still be fucked yet. Stay tuned.