a history of me

Whilst sitting here not doing what I'm supposed to be doing, I was interrupted by a dorm official. After asking me the rhetorical question "do you have a roommate," he informed me that I will receive one on Monday. He also "reminded" me about not keeping empty beer bottles in my room, which makes him the fifth person in 24 hours to intrude upon my personal alcohol consumption. When I bought a 12 pack of Molsons last night, I was carded at the supermarket, carded outside the dorm by a guy on a bike, and two people stuck their heads in my room while I was relaxing with said Molsons later that evening. I wonder if they realize that all this scrutiny only forces people to drink away from prying eyes, encouraging closed-door, secluded consumption.

But getting back to the new roommate, the letter I was given is quite humorous. It opens with "As I am sure you are aware there is an extra space in your room." Yeah, I think there's some space in the corner, behind the lamp. These rooms are incredibly small for one person, let alone two. I shudder to think how we'll coexist in here. All I can hope is that this person is relatively cool. Not too cool, or that will reflect badly on me, and not totally uncool because that would be like tying an anchor around me. And he better be at least 21 years old or else my divine right to drink will be severely trammelled.