a history of me

Here's a story that gives you real confidence in the system our government uses to safeguard the airlines: It seems that Ted Kennedy was denied from boarding airplanes on five occasions earlier this year. His name apparently "resembled an alias" used by a suspected terrorist. That was proof enough for airline employees to dismiss a seventy-two year old from flying.

This exposes an almost hilarious hole in the methods used by Homeland Security. All terrorists should start using celebrity aliases. Once they start fucking with the rights of rich people, then the system will change. I recommend Rosie O'Donnell, Jennifer Lopez, and Oprah, Otherwise, if some guy just happens to pick my name to use, I'll be totally fucked and no one will care. I don't have any friends in the Senate to call.